My priest has a policy that if any members of the wedding party are more than ten minutes late they get charged in increasingly high amounts. He said merely telling them this policy has worked in keeping everyone on time, and I don’t think he’s ever had to enforce it.
I once sang for a high school friend's wedding, accompanying myself (at her request) on the guitar. On the morning of the wedding, she disappeared into the restroom for a half-hour. I was told to fill in the time, but didn't really have the repertoire for it. Nevertheless, I did my best.
After that, I declined to be the only musician performing at any wedding. If I'd known about that policy, though...
I'd have rubbed my hands, thought "captive audience", and reflected that there are some folk songs with a lot of verses, ideal for this sort of situation. Mostly with a death count (well, it is folk music) which would make the Kray Brothers have an introspective moment.
The other notable thing about the service was that she was coming up the aisle to the theme from Chariots of Fire. As you can imagine, the waiting congregation was treated to variants of every film score D. could think of (with "Why are we waiting" being worked in in ever-less subtle ways)!
Good man, and standard practice IMO. My choir take bets what I'll work into the "twiddly bits" reflecting on the weather. Rain is easy - Any umbrellas?, Pennies from heaven, Singing in the rain, etc; The sun has got his hat on, You are my sunshine for when the weather gods are kind. The very worst wedding lateness is when it is just a nothing day - apart from lLook for the silver lining there's bu**er all appropriate repertoire and one is forced into more esoteric stuff like a number originally sung by Melina Mercouri, lauding the joys of the port of Piraeus, but which was recorded in English by Petula Clark with a totally different story line, known as Never, never on a Sunday
I used to work at a church and would hear the minister explaining to the entire wedding party that if he smelled any alcohol on the breath of the groom or groomsmen, or indeed on the breath of anyone involved in the wedding, he would not be the officiant. He knew that he had no real control over any of it and he didn't want to acknowledge that the bride and bridesmaids could well be drinking beforehand but, to my knowledge, everyone took him quite seriously and didn't overindulge beforehand.
A suburban church in Sydney is very popular for weddings. Often multiple weddings in the one day. Late for the wedding meant it was cancelled so next wedding ran to time that day.
When D. was a student in Bristol, he was organist of a church that was very popular for weddings, and they might have several on a Saturday afternoon. If one or more of the brides was very late, the knock-on effect could send the vicar into a panic in case the last one fell outside "canonical hours".
I'm not sure what the latest legal time was, but he said that on occasion the service (and presumably the music) was rather more presto than andante!
I like the story of a Vicar who had a simple and well-known procedure for matrimonial tardiness. If the bride was between six and ten minutes late, that was OK, he might instruct the organist to drop a verse or two, and shorten his address. He always built a little "wriggle room" for this sort of thing. If it was up to fifteen minutes one of the hymns would go completely and the Psalm would go if more it was between fifteen and twenty minutes late.
If they were more than twenty minutes late and there was no wedding to follow they got Psalm 119. All of it.
And presumably the use of Psalm 119 would mean that the reception was late starting, too. Serve 'em right (unless the delay wasn't their fault - such as the limo breaking down, or something).
A suburban church in Sydney is very popular for weddings. Often multiple weddings in the one day. Late for the wedding meant it was cancelled so next wedding ran to time that day.
That seems fair, and sensible. The church of the parish next to Our Place is a pretty, mediaeval, building, with nice trees, grass, and so on, outside. Very popular for weddings, and a previous incumbent used to get very fretful about latecomers. AFAIK, she never cancelled (or postponed) a wedding, but came pretty close on one occasion, and was still steaming about it on the following Monday...
In my many experiences as organist, I think the late weddings outnumbered the on time weddings by quite a considerable margin. Most of the time the late ones didn't cause too much of a problem. The congregation just had to listen to a lot of prelude music.
Some of the more memorable late starts were caused by
The father of the bride (who had dementia) wandered off and couldn't be found for a half hour
A bridesmaid left her dress in Orlando when the wedding was taking place in Kissimmee
The minister FORGOT there was a wedding (twice, actually. Two different ministers)
A fist fight
A bridesmaid was disinvited to participate in the wedding after she tried to seduce the groom during the rehearsal dinner (another fight)
I'll have to think. I know there are a lot more stories.
I once had a bride coming from no more than half a mile away who was over 20 minutes late. Naturally everyone’s mobile phones were switched off.
When she arrived, it turned out that as she and the chief bridesmaid had been leaving the leaving the hotel, the chief bridesmaid’s dress had split all down a side seam and the delay was the time it had taken to sew her back into her dress.
A bridesmaid was disinvited to participate in the wedding after she tried to seduce the groom during the rehearsal dinner (another fight)
This is the same wedding where one of the wedding guests (an old flame of the groom) came nekkid to the wedding. Well, she had on a minimum of clothing...skin colored tiny, tiny bikini with a diaphanous film of something connecting the two pieces. I started a thread about the uproar on The Old Ship™!
Then there was the wedding where the groom's parents were divorced. The delay was caused by the groom's father holding his ex-wife, the groom's mother, at gunpoint back at the hotel. (Father was arrested, mother was unhurt.)
One wedding at the church down the road to us was very late starting, as everyone turned up to find a locked church, no vicar, no organist, nothing. The vicar was in his shorts doing some gardening and had to get changed and make some very hasty phone calls.
It turned out the bride’s ex had discovered the wedding date and venue and had rung the vicar a month before, pretending to be the groom, and cancelled the wedding. It’s not unusual to have weddings cancelled and the vicar didn’t realise anything was wrong; now he insists that any alterations to dates are in writing and confirmed with all parties.
I could - but won't - expose the minister of a certain large and well-known Scottish church who slept through a wedding not long ago. When he couldn't be found, his assistant was located and officiated in his stead. Fortunately it was a small wedding party, and it concluded happily, including the minister, in a pub across the road some time later.
I'll have to think. I know there are a lot more stories.
I had a young bridesmaid who was washing up prior to getting changed, cut her hand on a sharp knife and had to go to Casualty to get it stitched. They did keep us updated.
I hope our rugby team kicks the shit out of their countrymen on Friday. Messrs Lawes and Vunipola well be especially unamused. If Ellis Genge get on the field God alone knows what could happen.
Everyone knows racism is wrong everywhere and rife everywhere; for Italian football fans to assert that racism isn't a real problem in Italy as it is in Northen Europe is a pathetic attempt to evade responsibility.
And now I’m pissed off by Twitter’s attitude to racist abuse. Between July 2018 and December 2018 Twitter took action on just 7% of accounts reported for racist or hateful abuse. That’s poor, but what is truly appalling is that over seven million accounts were reported.
I asked a friend who is on Twitter how he would describe it: he said there was a disturbingly high number of people who were like the truculent, aggressive drunk propping up the bar in a pub and moaning about "life" after his wife had left him
Whoever is responsible for a Drive-By exploit email turning up in my Inbox, claiming to be from me, and listing all sorts of naughties it is supposed to have done and will do if I do not send him Bitcoin. Thus wasting my morning checking all the anti-that-sort-of-thing software etc to be absolutely sure that it really is rubbish.
What is it about computers? You go cruising along for months without a peep, and then suddenly there's a huge bump in the road and your brakes are doing whatever brakes do when faced with a potential disasters. Hope you managed to sort it out....
It's all lies. I would like to know how he (almost certainly) got my address, but it could have been got from anywhere. And it does mean I have now got all up to date with stuff. But I have had, just recently, a bunch of emails claiming to be from people I know, with links in. Haven't had that for a while. And something wanting to give me £1000 from firefox, if I filled in all sorts of data I didn't want to - signing me up for deliveries of stuff and purchases into the far distance future. Just this week. (The emails started after I accessed emails on a ship's computer, and I blame them for not having decent protection.)
It's so unnerving to have this iffy sort of correspondence - but you seem to have been on the ball about seeing it for what it was. I particularly dread getting fake emails from friends, when someone/something has breached their address books.
I had a similar Affliction some while back - emails, purporting to come from peeps I know, but which were phishing for me to buy bl**dy Bitcoins. It wasn't a virus, as such, but annoying, nonetheless.
If you receive ANYTHING mentioning Bitcoins, divert it to Spam, and/or delete it, forthwith. Don't open it, however innocuous it may appear...
TICTH some new near-neighbours whose poor dog has been locked out in the garden, barking, for the last 4 hours. It is sounding most distressed - and, of course, being annoying as well.
Can you call the cops, BT? Or ring the neighbours? Not that I'm saying you should, and you've certainly got the right to be very annoyed about this. - I hope it'll come to a good solution soon!
I'm with Caroline - re computers. For about 15 years, on the odd occasion when things have seized up and there is no way it will shutdown and I have had to press an hold on/off button, I have never found that all my SuperNova and internet settings have been returned to default settings, but they did that nearly two weeks ago. They were fixed (by remote control) on Friday, but at the weekend, windows with 'can't send e-mails' and other gibberish kept appearing. That was fixed today, but heart sank to boots again when I found that all those SuperNova and internet settings had again reverted to default. As you can see, I can just manage, but oh dear, it needs so much concentration. *deep sighs*!!
TICTH Theresa May for awarding Geoffrey Boycott a knighthood in her resigntion honours list. I don't know much about his conviction for domestic abuse (he repeatedly punched his girlfriend) which he denies, but that alone makes him a louse. He was also the most selfish cricketer of all time, doing anything within his power to keep his average as high as possible, including running his partners out and notably, making himself unavailable for selection when this, the self-appointed best England batsman, avoided the Austrlians in 1974-75 & 1975 and the West Indians of 1976. In short, he was a quitter and he put people less capable than him in the firing line against Dennis Lillee, Jeff Thomson, Andy Roberts, Michael Holding, Wayne Daniel and co.
He also split his county club, but that's Yorkshire and I don't give two hoots for the white rose county.
I'm appalled that she gave a K to a man who did more to turn people off cricket than perhaps anyone else. I once went to everyday of a test in which he was batting - torture.
Out of curiosity, does the PM have the power to issue pardons of people who've been convicted of a crime? Our presidents do, and generally issue some when they're getting ready leave office. (And other times, too; but the last-minute ones tend to get more attention.)
I've never heard of this under the Westminister system (NZ has many of the same laws as the U.K, having been a former colony). I remember being quite surprised when I first learnt of that Presidential power.
Comments
I'd have rubbed my hands, thought "captive audience", and reflected that there are some folk songs with a lot of verses, ideal for this sort of situation. Mostly with a death count (well, it is folk music) which would make the Kray Brothers have an introspective moment.
Good man, and standard practice IMO. My choir take bets what I'll work into the "twiddly bits" reflecting on the weather. Rain is easy - Any umbrellas?, Pennies from heaven, Singing in the rain, etc; The sun has got his hat on, You are my sunshine for when the weather gods are kind. The very worst wedding lateness is when it is just a nothing day - apart from lLook for the silver lining there's bu**er all appropriate repertoire and one is forced into more esoteric stuff like a number originally sung by Melina Mercouri, lauding the joys of the port of Piraeus, but which was recorded in English by Petula Clark with a totally different story line, known as Never, never on a Sunday
I'm not sure what the latest legal time was, but he said that on occasion the service (and presumably the music) was rather more presto than andante!
If they were more than twenty minutes late and there was no wedding to follow they got Psalm 119. All of it.
And presumably the use of Psalm 119 would mean that the reception was late starting, too. Serve 'em right (unless the delay wasn't their fault - such as the limo breaking down, or something).
That seems fair, and sensible. The church of the parish next to Our Place is a pretty, mediaeval, building, with nice trees, grass, and so on, outside. Very popular for weddings, and a previous incumbent used to get very fretful about latecomers. AFAIK, she never cancelled (or postponed) a wedding, but came pretty close on one occasion, and was still steaming about it on the following Monday...
Some of the more memorable late starts were caused by
I'll have to think. I know there are a lot more stories.
When she arrived, it turned out that as she and the chief bridesmaid had been leaving the leaving the hotel, the chief bridesmaid’s dress had split all down a side seam and the delay was the time it had taken to sew her back into her dress.
This is the same wedding where one of the wedding guests (an old flame of the groom) came nekkid to the wedding. Well, she had on a minimum of clothing...skin colored tiny, tiny bikini with a diaphanous film of something connecting the two pieces. I started a thread about the uproar on The Old Ship™!
It turned out the bride’s ex had discovered the wedding date and venue and had rung the vicar a month before, pretending to be the groom, and cancelled the wedding. It’s not unusual to have weddings cancelled and the vicar didn’t realise anything was wrong; now he insists that any alterations to dates are in writing and confirmed with all parties.
Entertaining though these anecdotes are, maybe a new thread in Heaven might be the place for them?
Thank you
Piglet, AS host
Now, back to the ranting ...
I hope our rugby team kicks the shit out of their countrymen on Friday. Messrs Lawes and Vunipola well be especially unamused. If Ellis Genge get on the field God alone knows what could happen.
Everyone knows racism is wrong everywhere and rife everywhere; for Italian football fans to assert that racism isn't a real problem in Italy as it is in Northen Europe is a pathetic attempt to evade responsibility.
That Firefox thing sounded very iffy....
If you receive ANYTHING mentioning Bitcoins, divert it to Spam, and/or delete it, forthwith. Don't open it, however innocuous it may appear...
They are.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitcoin
He also split his county club, but that's Yorkshire and I don't give two hoots for the white rose county.
Thx.