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Limerick

12467…46

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  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    They'd all been scared off by Ronnie Ghoul.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Here are a couple concerning clergy - appropriate for the Ship:

    A habit obscene and unsavoury
    Holds the Bishop of Wessex in slavery.
    To maniacal howls
    He deflowers young owls
    Which he keeps in an underground aviary.

    But the Prior of Dunstan St Just
    While seized with insatiable lust
    Raped the Bishop's young owls
    Those delicate fowls,
    And a little green lizard, what bust.

    Who could not feel great sympathy for that lizard, an otherwise unsung hero of tragic poetry?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Yikes! Those clergy deserve their own Hell thread! Nasty men, even if imaginary.

    Let's try and help them with this not easy first line (but then, it's not an easy task):

    When seized with a lust quite unsatiable
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Which cold water proved quite unassuageable
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    So she tried gin instead
    Which went to her head
    And left the cream bun still available.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Continuing the clergy theme:

    There was an Old Parson from Putney
  • kingsfoldkingsfold Shipmate
    who liked to eat ice cream and chutney
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Although his digestion
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Called cream into question
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    What killed him - no kidding - a cut knee!
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Bravo, @jrw !

    A happy young woman from Kent
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Could never say quite what she meant
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Her circumlocutions
    Caused endless confusions
    And chaos wherever she went
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    In contrast, her sister was clear
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    Especially when she asked for beer
    Bitter or Stout
    Her orders rang out
    From her mouth to the bartender's ear
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    There was a young lady from Kent
    Who said that she knew what it meant
    When men asked her to dine
    Gave her cocktails and wine -
    She knew what it meant but she went.

    A variation in the last line: She knew what it meant so she went. There are others
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    There was a Young Lady from Minety*

    (*a village in Wiltshire)
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Who wanted to live to be ninety
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Alas and alack!
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Her habits were slack
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    And now she drinks oh so divine tea.
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    There was a young lady from Brighton
  • kingsfoldkingsfold Shipmate
    Who always made love with the light on


    (is this one of these well-know ones? The response came immediately so I wonder if I've heard it before)
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    When they said *Turn it off!*
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    She replied with a cough
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    One needs to check that one's man's sheath is right on.
    A postcard from Llandudno pier,
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Was written with *Wish you were here!*
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    It was posted on Monday,
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    Arrived ninety-one days
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited April 2022
    later, but the writer was now in Berkshire.
    A couple who were travelling the land
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Were strolling about hand in hand
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    They stopped to admire
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    As their hearts caught afire
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    At a blast from the local brass band
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    You’ve been busy whilst I’ve been away
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    The anabaptist minister was want to say
  • MiffyMiffy Shipmate
    Oh no, here we go!
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Woe, woe, and thrice woe!
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited April 2022
    The baby’s all wet, & acquired new soubriquet
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Hehe.

    There was an Old Man of Thermopylae

    (Nota bene - Edward Lear once used this first line...)
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    Who got stopped and questioned by copper Lee
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited April 2022
    His interrogation
    Took place at the station
    But wasn't conducted quite properly.

    An ancient bell-ringer from Bristol
  • Leorning CnihtLeorning Cniht Shipmate
    Had a nose that was shaped like a pistol
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    A nose not unlike
  • Raptor EyeRaptor Eye Shipmate
    The crossbar on a bike
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    It was actually made out of crystal.
    There was an Old Man with a Lemon
  • Raptor EyeRaptor Eye Shipmate
    Which tasted as sweet as a melon!
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    Quite why this should be
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Is a mystery. You see
    It's because
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    it was et by a pademelon.
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