About the Rob and Michele Reiner deaths
Gramps49
Shipmate
As everyone knows. Rob and Michele Reiner were found dead in their home. Initial reports said medical personnel were called to their home in Brentwood. When I heard that, I knew almost immediately this was not going to be good. It has now come out that their daughter found them with multiple stab wounds. Six hours later, their son, Nick, was arrested for allegedly murdering his parents.
People Magazine reports Nick got into a very loud and confrontational argument with Rob at a Christmas party the night before the murders.
When this part of the story came out, it brought back some memories I had of my parents and my brother. My youngest brother was alcoholic (he is now deceased). When he was not drinking, one would think he was the meekest person on earth. When he was roaring drunk he was very dangerous, especially if he were driving. My folks tried everything they could have to support him. They often allowed him to stay over at their place if he was too drunk to drive home. Some of those nights were very weird. Brother would often sleep walk. There were nights he would enter their bedroom and just stand there. Often I did not hear of the stories until much later. Since both parents are also gone now, I will probably never know about what happened.
But the stories would make the back of my hair stand on end. While brother was alive, I really feared for my parents' safety. The more I hear about how Rob and Michele would have done anything to help their son with multiple failures, I think my parents could have had similar deaths.
I am posting this because I want to warn everyone if they are dealing with a chemically dependent person who can be especially dangerous when they are actively using or heavily drinking it is probably not in the interest of their own safety to allow their loved one into their homes. I actually think it might be advisable to have a no contact order on the person, espcially if they verbally threaten or actively get physical in any way.
As much as I loved my brother and was very concerned about his drinking (maybe also drugging), I loved my parents more and was very concerned for their safety.
Maybe it is time to do an intervention if you have loved ones facing similar circumstances.
People Magazine reports Nick got into a very loud and confrontational argument with Rob at a Christmas party the night before the murders.
When this part of the story came out, it brought back some memories I had of my parents and my brother. My youngest brother was alcoholic (he is now deceased). When he was not drinking, one would think he was the meekest person on earth. When he was roaring drunk he was very dangerous, especially if he were driving. My folks tried everything they could have to support him. They often allowed him to stay over at their place if he was too drunk to drive home. Some of those nights were very weird. Brother would often sleep walk. There were nights he would enter their bedroom and just stand there. Often I did not hear of the stories until much later. Since both parents are also gone now, I will probably never know about what happened.
But the stories would make the back of my hair stand on end. While brother was alive, I really feared for my parents' safety. The more I hear about how Rob and Michele would have done anything to help their son with multiple failures, I think my parents could have had similar deaths.
I am posting this because I want to warn everyone if they are dealing with a chemically dependent person who can be especially dangerous when they are actively using or heavily drinking it is probably not in the interest of their own safety to allow their loved one into their homes. I actually think it might be advisable to have a no contact order on the person, espcially if they verbally threaten or actively get physical in any way.
As much as I loved my brother and was very concerned about his drinking (maybe also drugging), I loved my parents more and was very concerned for their safety.
Maybe it is time to do an intervention if you have loved ones facing similar circumstances.
Comments
When I worked in substance abuse programs we would speak of the downward spiral of violence in the family. How there would be a period of everything being rosy to walking on eggshells to a triggering event which would result in an explosion of violence back to a honeymoon phase.
Often times I found that the victims' sense of judgement were very clouded. They think they can handle it until they could not. They had an unrealistic belief things would get better, but it never does if the person does not get into recovery. Often times, victims would get into a Stockholm Syndrome as a way of coping with the trauma they are experiencing.
Multiple sources report Nick had a history of instability and violence. He has been chemically dependent for over 20 years and had gone into rehab 18 times without ever achieving full recovery. There are no known reports of domestic violence against his family or with a significant other, but that does not mean there weren't any, just that none were reported. Given Nicks history of chemical use, instability, reports of violence clinicians would say there are elevated risk factors.
It would have been advisable the family should set clear boundaries; ensure that potential weapons be secured and third-party support be available. Treatment programs too. A no contact order would have created a clear boundary a person cannot cross without legal consequences. It gives the victims the possibility to call law enforcement if they felt unsafe, and it can provide a sense of security for the victims. Still, that does not mean the abuser will not approach. It does not address the underlying issues, and it would put a strain on restoring long term relationships.
The key to a no contact order is there has to be a credible threat or a history of violence.
Nevertheless, it is a tool that can be used if there is a pattern of violent outbursts; the person is unstable and escalating; family members feel unsafe in their own home; and other boundaries have failed.
There is much about this incident that is still unknown. We do know whatever Rob and Michele had tried ended up in tragedy. We have lost some very valuable and irreplicable people with their deaths. We need to warn other people of the dangers of substance abuse combined with domestic violence.
It will happen again without intervention.