Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Man finds own amputated leg on cigarette packets without consent https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49029845
  • I was going to submit this, myself because it's so confusing. Was he looking for his amputated leg which had been "lost"? Was it small enough to fit on a cig pack? I'm NOT being comical about this. It just took a while to understand what the heck the truly weird headline was announcing. Very bad, BBC.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    I figured that one would get here, too. My image is that there was a whole box of cigarette packets and the leg was just resting on top of them.
  • Just imagine what he might have found there if the cigarette packet **had** given its consent.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    The mind boggles!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    The Guardian has this:
    Man who had leg amputated after being shot by dog reveals how he nearly died
    Let me guess - because the dog had shot him?

    BTW: I really think dogs should never be issued with guns. They can be a bit trigger-happy. Especially gun dogs.
  • But the dog did shoot him - albeit accidentally by treading on the gun which had been left on the ground, presumably loaded and without the safety catch engaged. Perhaps it's careless humans who shouldn't be issued with gun licences!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Yes, that too. I agree.
  • Was that the same man whose leg was found on the cigarette pack?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I nearly did that association myself, dear PB4S. Alas, I did not dare, as it's gruesome. We should have left the joke as amputated as it was.
  • It didn't have a leg to stand on.
  • From "Wales Online" (Mirror Group): "Tories prepare to name Boris Johnson or Jeremy Hunt". That's news? Surely we've known their names for a long time - Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt? And presumably their parents knew their names long before that.

    One has to ask: is the winner of this contest going to be "unveiled" or "rolled out" later today? Or (heaven forfend) be "revealed"?
  • BBC site : "Circumcision: My penis causes me constant pain". Maybe not so deep next time?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Outch!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From the Bristol Post (which seems to have quite a few weird headlines)
    Crackdown on households that have more than one black wheelie bin proposed
  • I wonder how many people will be nipping out to buy some paint, so they can make their other bins red ....
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Yep, especially as clearly, first, they propose to them more than one black wheelie bin, and now they want to crack down on that. Bloody unfair and inconsistent!
  • If the Council sends round a particularly corpulent individual to sit on the lids of each offending bin, that should crack 'em down!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I like your thinking. :)
  • You can rest assured that my wife does not feel sat upon!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    You can rest assured that my wife does not feel sat upon!
    Do you have her permission to say that?

  • No .....
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    From the Bristol Post (which seems to have quite a few weird headlines)
    Crackdown on households that have more than one black wheelie bin proposed

    In announcing this "crackdown" in advance, the council has lost the advantage of surprise attack on the offenders. I'm afraid it is not going to work.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Members of the "yarn bombing" community (real thing!) will be available to crochet/knit trash bin cozies. ;)
  • Yarn bombing is cool! We have a festival called Jumpers and Jazz, which features some spectacular yarn bombing! Just sayin’. As you were.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Ouch
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    It's back to where it came from, then. Many people just talk cra* on their mobile phone, especially in public, and on public transport.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
  • Whose food? the gulls'? or the one who is staring? OK. I'll say "scientists " Now what happens?
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    A dozen scientists pop out of their lab door, run around you 5 times, then take you out with them for ice cream?
  • I wish people would stop calling these birds "Seagulls": some are gulls (in the UK usually genus Larus), others are terns (usually Onychoprion or Sternidae).

    There is no such bird as a "Seagull" - there are different types of seabird with learned behaviour to consider feeding humans an easy source of food.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    I wish people would stop calling these birds "Seagulls": some are gulls (in the UK usually genus Larus), others are terns (usually Onychoprion or Sternidae.

    The latter can, of course, be kept at bay with a few well-aimed beach pebbles - hence the expression Leave no tern unstoned.
  • I wish people would stop calling these birds "Seagulls": some are gulls (in the UK usually genus Larus), others are terns (usually Onychoprion or Sternidae).

    There is no such bird as a "Seagull" - there are different types of seabird with learned behaviour to consider feeding humans an easy source of food.

    Words mean what people use them to mean. If they use "seagull" to mean "gulls and terns" then that's what the word means.
  • From BBC Wales news website: "Did delayed wig fitting save Swansea parishioners in 1739?"

    Apparently the Vicar's barber was drunk and arrived late at his house to fit his wig. This meant that, in turn, the Vicar was 10 minutes late arriving to unlock the church for morning service. During that time the church collapsed - if it had been full many people would have been killed or injured.

    But it may be an urban myth: the church was known to be unsafe and it had been a stormy night. It could be that the opening was deliberately delayed in order to carry out an assessment of any possible damage.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    'Hello, can I have a delayed wig, please? My regular one is just too fast.' :)
  • kbekbe Shipmate
    IMAGINARY HEADLINE

    SoF Members Now Have Idea Of Length Of Eternity! (RE: Home Page)
  • From BBC Wales website: "Rhyl Air Show treated to 'mind-blowing' typhoons". Clearly they've had quite a meteorological display! A capital 't' would have made all the difference, Typhoons being the RAF's latest plaything.
  • Bench celebrates Link
    This from the Forest of Dean & Wye Valley Review shows just how low is the threshhold when it comes to defining "news" in some parts of the world.
  • From the BBC website: 'Stop misleading special offers', supermarkets told.

    I wasn't aware that special offers could be misled, but it seems that they can be.
  • Back page of the i today:

    "England ready to call on Pope to lift battling line-up"
  • And the Red Sox asked him to approve their batting line-up.
  • both offerings from the Sport section of today's Times:

    League facing Bury inquest
    Surely they've got that a*se-about-face - you have the inquest, then you bury :grin:

    ... and this from an interview with Paul Gascoigne
    I see 200k-a-week players who can't trap a bag of cement
    But why would they want to.
  • both offerings from the Sport section of today's Times:

    League facing Bury inquest
    Ah, but it's actually the League of Funeral Directors and Grave-diggers - nothing to do with football!

  • From BBC website: Big lifestyle changes 'needed to cut emissions'. Better cut down on those beans then ...

    (Actually I totally agree with the article's sentiments).
  • Headline in this morning's SF Chronicle:
    Geese drop bomb on bounce house
    Somebody was planning to install 'The world's largest bouncy house' in an Oakland park. When they got to town they discovered that the park is home to a large flock of geese, which are doing what geese do. The company is pulling out of the deal.

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    The Washington Post had this piece of breaking news this morning, 7 September 2019:
    Brown released by Raiders, looking for new team
    I'm afraid it seems to be about sports. - And there I was, bemused by a headline which (to me) spoke of crime and escape! :neutral:
  • Shedd Aquarium Grows Food Its Animals Eat in Gardens

    That must be a logistical nightmare. Wouldn't it be easier to just bring the food to the animals' enclosures?
  • Why should they not enjoy fresco picnics from time to time as you and I do? A very speciest post!!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Or even fishiest!
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