Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Doubt it. They'd be Olly Reef's there. Innit.

    Do you think they also sell £100 GREAT BARRIER HOLLY REEFS.

    No, Sarf London it was not. At least they included the capital H, and eschewed the rogue apostrophe to which BT so carefully alludes...

  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited December 2019
    ... and (deliberately) omitted!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From the Independent:
    Five sentenced to death over Khashoggi killing

    One of the less successful Enid Blyton stories. (Likely the final volume.)
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    This is why knitted angels appeared around Chichester

    My spy-in-the-south sent me this from their local paper, the Chichester Observer

    Perhaps there was "yarn-bombing" involved?
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    From the Independent:
    Five sentenced to death over Khashoggi killing

    One of the less successful Enid Blyton stories. (Likely the final volume.)

    LOL!!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    edited December 2019
    Cathscats wrote: »
    Wesley J wrote: »
    From the Independent:
    Five sentenced to death over Khashoggi killing

    One of the less successful Enid Blyton stories. (Likely the final volume.)

    LOL!!
    Yep. Definitely. It brightened my afternoon. 👍 👏👌

    Perhaps Timmy will dig up the entrance to a secret tunnel, all will be well, and they'll end up instead with lashings of buns and pop.
  • From the "Ipswich Star": Shock as goldfish discovered abandoned at Ipswich park.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I hope it was in its bowl!
  • Sounds more like an electric eel than a goldfish.
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    I hope it was in its bowl!
    No - tipped into a pond. The fear was that this and other fish "dumped" there would eat the spawn of other protected species.

  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Here in California, IIRC, there've been problems with people dumping...Asian carp, I think...into lakes, so they can fish for them. However, they've wound up being invasive. Some remedies were tried, but I'm not sure of the current status.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    edited January 2020
    (sorry... reading and accidentally posted )
  • Sheep shipped in to boost threatened horseshoe bat
    I found this unlikely story in The Forest Review.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Prince George’s officer fires in struggle with armed man, police say
    Trouble with the Cambridges? So he has his own personal protection officer, Prince George does, and I'm surprised it's only one. Much is unclear. What did he fire? Why was there an armed man to be struggled with - perhaps as a festive treat for the wee Royal?

    In fact, it's from the Washington Post, and about Prince George's County, Md., USA.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited January 2020
    Again from the WaPo, a somewhat unlucky wording there. Frankly, I am surprised that they didn't see or edit this one.
    The Washington Post-Ipsos poll of African Americans reveals fears about whether their children will have a fair shot [...]
  • From today's BBC Welsh news website: "Sex and religious education to be made compulsory". I think things might have been better expressed in a different order ...
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    That makes it worse
  • What I meant was that "Religious and sex education" would have been less ambiguous ...
  • from The Hereford Times

    Thieves strike in Herefordshire town

    .. so no need to lock the door then
  • from The Hereford Times

    Thieves strike in Herefordshire town

    .. so no need to lock the door then

    Are they wanting better working conditions? Higher pay? More benefits?
    :wink:
  • Fewer police, perhaps? Less CCTV?

    Just wait till they organise a lock-in, or a burgle-to-rule.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited January 2020
    I love the idea of the burglars going on strike!

    True story: when D. was about 18 he went to Paris with the Organ Club, and the Parisian ladies of the night went on strike (I understand these two events were unconnected). They were staging a demonstration on the steps of Notre Dame while the anoraks organists were inside. Someone asked D. if he'd play something, and being young and keen, he put the pedal to the metal, and let it rip. By the time he'd finished, the ladies had given up.
  • Love it! That's sounds a bit like the railway stations where they play classical music over the loudspeakers to deter the local yobbos young people from congregating.

    (Mind you, there are probably one or two posh places where that might be an attraction, although they'd probably complain about the quality of the sound reproduction ...).


  • BBC News
    'Unspeakably dirty' takeaway owner is jailed

    And sentenced to one month of daily bathing instruction, and observed showers. With soap.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    The idea of thieves going on strike has some similarity to the notice one sometimes sees at cap parks
    "Thieves operate in this area"
    . I know it's meant to be a warning, but it always reads to me as though they're advertising them as one of the attractions of the neighbourhood.
  • Perhaps they are unemployed surgeons, down on their luck?
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    edited January 2020
    Perhaps they are unemployed surgeons, down on their luck?
    Nice one @Baptist Trainfan. Thank you. So a warning not to look as though you might have any temptingly reusable body parts.

    This kidney was lovingly gathered, specially for you, at dawn on a spring morning at Symonds Yat.

    No, alas, I know it's a lovely view, but we can't offer you a cornea from Monsal Head. There was somebody in the ice cream van until after your carefully selected victim had driven off. You'll have to make do with one we collected earlier from Meadowhall.


  • Where the view is slightly different ...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From a local rag:
    French policeman shoots attacker with a knife
    Very versatile they are, the French knife-throwing coppers, clearly trained in circus skills.
  • I have a hazy memory of an episode of "Get Smart" where Smart had a knife that shot bullets. Or maybe I just imagined it.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    You may be right, from the little I've read. :)
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited February 2020
    [tangent]
    I'm mildly amused that the evil conspiracy is called KAOS; where I come from, KAOS stands for Kirkwall Amateur Operatic Society, with whom I used to sing, and who aren't evil at all.
    [/tangent]
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Near us is Kendal ditto. I often wonder whether the founders did or didn’t have a sense of humour!
  • From the BBC news website

    'Badger falls through Northampton Superdrug shop ceiling'

  • From The Forest Review
    Police hunt bird of prey shooter

    It would seem that threatened wildlife is defending itself :grin:
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    From (I think) the Bloomberg campaign trail, a poster,
    "Trump's Broken Promises to Vets".

    I had to stop and puzzle over that one until I realised it wasn't accusing Mr Trump of specifically letting down the entire profession of veterinary surgeons in the USA.



  • Piglet wrote: »
    [tangent]
    I'm mildly amused that the evil conspiracy is called KAOS; where I come from, KAOS stands for Kirkwall Amateur Operatic Society, with whom I used to sing, and who aren't evil at all.
    [/tangent]
    There is, in Suffolk, the Stowmarket Operatic and Dramatic Society ...

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    They didn't really think that one out, did they? :mrgreen:
  • Reminiscent of Canada's one-time Conservative Reform Alliance Party---which quickly re-branded itself as the Canadian Reform Conservative Alliance.
  • Piglet wrote: »
    They didn't really think that one out, did they? :mrgreen:

    Oh, but I suspect they did ...
  • Seattle has (now unofficially but formerly officially) the South Lake Union Trolley.
  • When they built the Light Rail system in the Phoenix area they were looking for nicknames for it, such as the BART in the (San Francisco) Bay Area. I wanted to call it the Phoenix Area Rapid Transit -- PhART -- which would have, of course, been pronounced "FART."

    Instead, they gave it the very original name of "Metro" (which nobody calls it -- it's "The Light Rail.")
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Not forgetting the probably apocryphal Cambridge University New Testament Society.
  • To elevate the level, here is a headline from the BBC: "Superdrug badger was 'sheltering from Storm Ciara'".
  • Again from the BBC: "Eustice: Extreme weather is becoming more frequent". I first thought, seeing we have just had storms Ciara and Dennis, that this was a warning of yet another one on the way. But in fact it's a quote from George Eustice, the new Environment Minister (just reshuffled).
  • To elevate the level, here is a headline from the BBC: "Superdrug badger was 'sheltering from Storm Ciara'".

    And did the badger tell them that? such a clever badger
  • Perhaps the reporter understood Badgerese?
  • Perhaps the reporter understood Badgerese?

    Such a clever reporter....?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Hong Kong police bust toilet paper gang [...]
    That's all quite interesting, but does a, ehem, bust really need to go to the toilet?
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