pease the unappeased...
Hey y'all,
I think this is my first actual hell call. And it's inspired by an Epiphanies thread. As the kids say: WTF.
Congratulations, @pease , you caught the repressed little white boy just as he was breaking a lifelong habit of dissociating, you went and pricked him when he was in his feelings.
Lucky you...
Guys, I don't like doing this. I don't have the fucking time. I got three kids. I got a job taking care of disabled folks. I'm fucking sensitive. I'm middle aged and going through a defrag of my head. I've had fucking ICE going through my fucking ethnically diverse fucking neighborhood in fucking Chicago. I've watched my employer struggle to get enough people to show up for work because of the fucking situation our federal government is in. I take a lot of this stuff personally. I don't just have black friends. I have multiracial immigrant friends and dammit, I get along with them better than I get along with preppy-ass wannabe armchair leftists like pease.
Yes, jackass. I know who Sally Hemings is. But lifting up the raped body of a black woman was not something I needed to do in that conversation to prove my "woke" white boy bona fides, because I outgrew that shell a long time ago.
And I don't think white folks have any fucking business using the word "woke," it either sounds sanctimonious or snide. Those scare quotes are made of reinforced rebar. Leave it for black folks who've earned it. I'll be happy to call myself an honest hick. That's not real either, but it carries more integrity because least it's where I grew up.
Fuck off with your passive aggressive accusations of racism. Fuck off with your moral perfectionism,. And kindly fuck off with the insinuation that I'm not good enough for your principled self righteous ass.
There are few things in my life as embarrassing as an educated fool trying to prove to the world that he's going to save them from institutional racism with his refined moral perfectionism.
....
And let it be known that I am authentically tired, distracted, and cannot promise that I'll circle back and follow this garbage dump. But I probably will. I don't like hurting people. But pease, you're pissing me off. If you are as kind as you think you are, kindly back off, please. I do not enjoy this.
I think this is my first actual hell call. And it's inspired by an Epiphanies thread. As the kids say: WTF.
Congratulations, @pease , you caught the repressed little white boy just as he was breaking a lifelong habit of dissociating, you went and pricked him when he was in his feelings.
Lucky you...
Guys, I don't like doing this. I don't have the fucking time. I got three kids. I got a job taking care of disabled folks. I'm fucking sensitive. I'm middle aged and going through a defrag of my head. I've had fucking ICE going through my fucking ethnically diverse fucking neighborhood in fucking Chicago. I've watched my employer struggle to get enough people to show up for work because of the fucking situation our federal government is in. I take a lot of this stuff personally. I don't just have black friends. I have multiracial immigrant friends and dammit, I get along with them better than I get along with preppy-ass wannabe armchair leftists like pease.
Yes, jackass. I know who Sally Hemings is. But lifting up the raped body of a black woman was not something I needed to do in that conversation to prove my "woke" white boy bona fides, because I outgrew that shell a long time ago.
And I don't think white folks have any fucking business using the word "woke," it either sounds sanctimonious or snide. Those scare quotes are made of reinforced rebar. Leave it for black folks who've earned it. I'll be happy to call myself an honest hick. That's not real either, but it carries more integrity because least it's where I grew up.
Fuck off with your passive aggressive accusations of racism. Fuck off with your moral perfectionism,. And kindly fuck off with the insinuation that I'm not good enough for your principled self righteous ass.
There are few things in my life as embarrassing as an educated fool trying to prove to the world that he's going to save them from institutional racism with his refined moral perfectionism.
....
And let it be known that I am authentically tired, distracted, and cannot promise that I'll circle back and follow this garbage dump. But I probably will. I don't like hurting people. But pease, you're pissing me off. If you are as kind as you think you are, kindly back off, please. I do not enjoy this.
Comments
Love to you. Hard stuff.
Yes - a good way of putting it.
Thanks for acknowledging that that was a kick. I'm up again.
And yeah, integration is something I'm good at, appreciated, though it probably explains why I'm also hard for some folks to comprehend. Their loss. Hence, the "hick." That's the hick experience. I'm very much in my own context. Communicating with other people is always a challenge. But here I am.
I think there's something about the way white people seem to talk so self-righteously about black trauma that annoys me. I ain't black, you* ain't black. If we both start talking about black trauma...this becomes a question of tactful appropriation and clearly we're operating under some wildly different ethical standards. It is a tricky business.
I don't presume authority. I don't accept yours. Kindly, don't presume to boss me around without the word host attached to your handle. I'll happily engage you but I don't appreciate the attitude.
* Unless I'm seriously mistaken here.
You're not going to get clarity from me when I'm that angry.
What's clear is that, being angry, I was reducing both myself and my target to caricatures to blow off frustration with the way we are both presenting ourselves in an online discussion board.
If I reduced @pease to a caricature while retaining my own humanity, that would be rather unsporting of me, no? I know we don't all know or show our full selves here. It's social performance. I'm just being rather transparent about it.
I think "hick" has become one of my ways of simplifying myself for the sake of a fight. In truth, I'm not that much more of a hick than anyone else is. Though in an existential way I think we might all be hicks with our own hollers to defend. Some of us just have bigger hollers than others. I didn't grow up in a holler, but I know what the word means and I think the concept has merit.
If that word isn't sophisticated enough for you, call it a Sitz im Leben. A hick is simply a human, taken as themself, a product of their own particular context.
[...]
Thankfully, if I read him clearly, @pease seems sympathetic and therefore this has been a very short thread, unless anyone else has any similar grievances to express.
If our difficulty persists and my irritation rises, I may come back to this but I am, for the time being, appeased.
If anyone wants to accuse me of being incomprehensible in this post, do me me favor and ask me clarifying questions. Better yet, we can have a lovely Purg thread about "WTF Bullfrog is going on about?" Call me to Purgatory! If I have the time, I can try to be pithy.
Though a cautionary note: I might enjoy the experience.