When we were renting a flat while waiting for our house to sell, we were given one set of keys (main door and flat door), which we took to a locksmith to have copied. I got the copied set, and couldn't understand why I could never get the main door key to work (fortunately we were nearly always together, and the door was often unlocked anyway). It was only the day we were leaving that we actually compared the two main door keys, and realised that their "teeth" were completely different; I had always assumed it was just me being really rubbish with keys and locks (which I am). I think we ended up throwing the duff key into the river ...
Father's Day. What a ridiculous HallmarkFest. Our already tiny congregation was further depleted by those going out to lunch (or whatever).
Now, church starts at 1030am, and lunch at around 1pm, but there is, it seems, a Law Of The Medes And The Persians that totally precludes attendance at any form of worship of God in the morning, however much time may be available.
If they ever establish Elderly Childless Divorced Curmudgeons' Day, I shall observe it by actually attending church....
Quite right, BF. I must confess I've never really observed Fathers' Day - I think it's a left-side-of-the-Pond thing that's sort of spread in the last few years - and I don't know that my dad (may he rest in peace and rise in glory) ever thought about it either. I used to send flowers to Mum (also RIP&RIG) on Mothering Sunday (the proper one in Lent, not the "Mothers' Day" Hallmarkfest), but D. never did, as his mum just doesn't "do" Mothering Sunday.
My parents didn’t do Mother’s day and Father’s Day, my mum citing Mothering Sunday (without attending church) while if I mentioned Father’s Day to my dad he would tell me that every day is Father’s Day and he would like a cup of tea. Oh, and could I mow the lawn too.
Actually, I have occasionally kept Fathers Day just to annoy my Dad. He only got a card and maybe a book, after all as a cleric who was probably preaching it was not usually an opportune day for a family get together.
We did the usual card thing and perhaps a homemade gift when my brother and I were young. But then our folks surprised us by saying that since there were father and mother days we should have a kids day. We could choose a day trip destination. Which was all well and good until my bro wanted to go to the beach and I wanted to go to the mountains. Instead of knocking our heads together, my dad rose to the challenge and drove us to the mountains in the morning where we took a walk and ate sack lunches. Then we drove down the mountain and straight to the beach for the late afternoon. Come to think of it, that probably worked into Dad's plans nicely. He was very fair skinned and tended to burn especially at the beach. So he was under trees during the late morning and noon and in the car during the hot afternoon. Genius!
My father, God rest his soul, was dead before anyone ever thought of Father's Day, and my mother the Dowager insists on it being Mothering Sunday (which is fine by me - but the cards get harder and harder to find!)
I will admit to missing church yesterday as I had offered to cook Proper Breakfast as a treat for Mr. S, SiL, Miss S and the Intrepid Grandson: we weren't going out as a family because everywhere would just be mobbed. Same with Mothering Sunday, Valentine's Day, whatever. Hard luck on anyone who has a birthday then!
Mrs. S, whose birthday is September 11th and has the reverse problem.
This is a very minor issue compared to all the other crap around. So yes, that goes without saying.
My kid just managed a complex fracture of their leg. Ok, not a big deal - I've seen worse injuries on the rugby pitch at school.
But it's a right pain in the bum -
* We were going on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday in two weeks. We are not now.
* My kid was going to start a new job in another part of the country in September. That's looking doubtful.
* We are going to have to find somewhere else to live in the short/medium term because our flat is up four flights of stairs. No idea how.
* Relatives have possible place for us to stay, but that's a long drive from this hospital. Not insurmountable but difficult.
My kid is tired but generally upbeat atm. But given they'd been looking forward to the hols, a big birthday and starting an exciting new chapter of their life, I think they're going to feel it when they hit bottom.
So I'm consigning to hell fairly minor injuries that have complicated consequences.
Father's Day. ... Now, church starts at 1030am, and lunch at around 1pm, but there is, it seems, a Law Of The Medes And The Persians that totally precludes attendance at any form of worship of God in the morning, however much time may be available.
Ah, but The Roast has to be prepared and that takes time. And even if going out (visiting family) there is not only Getting Ready (incorporating Are You Sure We've Got Everything?) but also The Fear Of Being Late - even though the venue is only a few miles up the road.
Mind you, it's better than Going Away For Easter - one London church I knew basically celebrated Easter on Palm Sunday as they knew they'd be decimated on the day itself!
People who stand and chat in the middle of the swimming pool lanes. (And dedicated swimmers who just put their heads down and don't look where they're going).
People who stand and chat in the middle of the swimming pool lanes. (And dedicated swimmers who just put their heads down and don't look where they're going).
And:
- People who stand and chat in doorways
- People who stand and chat in corridors, especially the corners of corridors. What is it with you?
- Those who wander in and out of our tea/coffee rooms, in a hurry, without looking. Think for a moment: someone is likely to be carrying a hot drink.
I saw all of these yesterday, and at least two of them every day.
As my Mum used to say, "How can you be so intelligent and act so stupid?"
Whichever government person has called G yet again to assess if he's fit for work, with the threat of benefit sanctions if he doesn't fill in the forms correctly / get the answers right at the interview. G has been disabled since birth, nothing short of a miracle will result in an improvement.
G was volunteering as a greeter in a charity shop; i.e. he sat in a chair and greeted shoppers. The DWP told him that if he could volunteer as a greeter, he could get a paid job as a greeter. Except a paid greeter is a job that does not exist. Shops do not pay people to sit in a chair and chat to their customers. And even if such a job did exist, and shops did pay people, they wouldn't employ someone whose speech is not clear.
Whichever government person has called G yet again to assess if he's fit for work, with the threat of benefit sanctions if he doesn't fill in the forms correctly / get the answers right at the interview. G has been disabled since birth, nothing short of a miracle will result in an improvement.
G was volunteering as a greeter in a charity shop; i.e. he sat in a chair and greeted shoppers. The DWP told him that if he could volunteer as a greeter, he could get a paid job as a greeter. Except a paid greeter is a job that does not exist. Shops do not pay people to sit in a chair and chat to their customers. And even if such a job did exist, and shops did pay people, they wouldn't employ someone whose speech is not clear.
Maybe you should ask the DWP if they would employ him as a greeter at the local Jobcentre, or some such premises.
Those DWP medical checks for disability are not fit for purpose, having dealt with them twice recently. One size does not fit all and a rigid set of medical examinations and questions misses many issues and difficulties. Especially when the answers to the questions only have three or four answers for people to fit into - for mobility - walking: none; up to 20m, 20m to 500m, able to walk - nothing about not safe to go out alone for whatever medical need. If you can walk, you are mobile and do not qualify for mobility.
Not sure how things work there but my doctor is extremely bold about filling in forms like that and would equate not being safe to go out alone or having a fear of going out as "none". If you only felt safe in front of your house, she would mark, "Up to 20 m". I am currently on disability because of the way the forms were filled out here.
It's not the usual GP that assesses, but people at an assessment centre, trained to administer that test. People have lost disability benefit after not being able to access the assessment centre so were marked late and/or absent, so not eligible for that benefit.
People who stand and chat in the middle of the swimming pool lanes. (And dedicated swimmers who just put their heads down and don't look where they're going).
And:
- People who stand and chat in doorways
P
People who stop and chat at the top or bottom of an escalator.
That was most confusing in Japan, Loth, as Tokyo commuters stood to the left while Osaka commuters stood to the right.
I no longer have to worry about such things, but even on the very long escalators at Kings Cross, I used to wonder just how much more quickly the fast lane was in getting to the top. I also wondered at the tremendous wrath exercised by some at times whose progress was hindered by a slow person in the fast lane.
And when there's a queue at the bottom, it's proved to be true that everyone gets to the top faster if they ALL STAND on both sides of the escalator! (Didn't work though, when it was tested, because the dedicated fast-track commuter can't bear to stand!)
Mrs. S, who hasn't needed to commute in London this many a long year
I confess I always stand rather than move on an escalator (unless I'm in danger of missing a plane), on the principle that (a) if you have a dog, why would you bark yourself?; and (b) I'm basically a lazy git.
Also, when you're doing the ten-mile hike that gets you from the plane to the immigration hall in Terminal 2 at Heathrow after an overnight flight, standing still on an escalator is a blessèd relief.
And when there's a queue at the bottom, it's proved to be true that everyone gets to the top faster if they ALL STAND on both sides of the escalator! (Didn't work though, when it was tested, because the dedicated fast-track commuter can't bear to stand!)
Mrs. S, who hasn't needed to commute in London this many a long year
I remember the reports of that experiment on the Underground Mrs S. The poor station staff copped a lot of abuse I understand. I've always found that even on the longest escalators, the fast-track people are only a few seconds quicker, and when we reach street-level, we are usually waiting together at the nearest pedestrian crossing signal.
Indeed, and anyway, everyone has to go through the ticket barrier thingies, so there's usually a bit of a bottleneck there as well, so really, what's the point of hurrying?
I should add the disclaimer that I don't live or work in London, so my use of the Tube is for recreational purposes only ...
A real fear for many, perhaps - if they're late, they'll miss an Important Meeting/job interview, or be marked down by The Boss as lazy and/or incompetent etc. etc.
Not necessarily all that paranoid, given today's competitive work ethos...
Battery-operated gadgets which have battery compartments that are almost impossible to open. I have a remote like that. After trying many times over several days, I took it to church yesterday to see if someone could open it. Several people tried and failed; finally one man succeeded, but he really had to work at it.
And when there's a queue at the bottom, it's proved to be true that everyone gets to the top faster if they ALL STAND on both sides of the escalator! (Didn't work though, when it was tested, because the dedicated fast-track commuter can't bear to stand!)
Standing on escalators has a greater steady state throughput than walking up them, because you can stack people closer. Standing, you can have someone on (each side of) each step. Walkers tend to need 2 or 3 steps per person.
Nevertheless, if there is a space in front of you on the escalator, it is always faster to move into it than to remain standing.
The difference is in the loading of the escalator - if people enter the escalator and keep walking, the person behind them tends to leave extra space. Once you've stacked two people on each step, there's no magic need for them to remain stationary.
Also, when you're doing the ten-mile hike that gets you from the plane to the immigration hall in Terminal 2 at Heathrow after an overnight flight, standing still on an escalator is a blessèd relief.
By contrast, I always walk (fast) down the travelators / escalators at airports, because I've just spent 8 hours sat on a plane, and need a change!
People who stand and chat in the middle of the swimming pool lanes. (And dedicated swimmers who just put their heads down and don't look where they're going).
Yes! And people who swim abreast in the lane so they can chat (or kiss and cuddle), so no one can swim around in the clockwise or anticlockwise way intended. And the lifeguards who don’t bother telling them they can’t do that in a lane. And the people who swim right in the middle of the lane rather than to the side indicated, and the people who swim with the stroke I call splash stroke, where they just whack the water ferociously with the palms of their hands and their legs, and the huge splashes reach everyone in all the other lanes.
This is why I try to go swimming at times when the pool is empty.
I suspect that the one I killed in the middle of Friday night may be there already, but he left his revenge in the form of at least two stings on my inner forearm, which has been swollen, itchy and generally extremely hellish for three whole days already.
Comments
Now, church starts at 1030am, and lunch at around 1pm, but there is, it seems, a Law Of The Medes And The Persians that totally precludes attendance at any form of worship of God in the morning, however much time may be available.
If they ever establish Elderly Childless Divorced Curmudgeons' Day, I shall observe it by actually attending church....
IJ
He had the Right Idea, I think!
IJ
I will admit to missing church yesterday as I had offered to cook Proper Breakfast as a treat for Mr. S, SiL, Miss S and the Intrepid Grandson: we weren't going out as a family because everywhere would just be mobbed. Same with Mothering Sunday, Valentine's Day, whatever. Hard luck on anyone who has a birthday then!
Mrs. S, whose birthday is September 11th and has the reverse problem.
My kid just managed a complex fracture of their leg. Ok, not a big deal - I've seen worse injuries on the rugby pitch at school.
But it's a right pain in the bum -
* We were going on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday in two weeks. We are not now.
* My kid was going to start a new job in another part of the country in September. That's looking doubtful.
* We are going to have to find somewhere else to live in the short/medium term because our flat is up four flights of stairs. No idea how.
* Relatives have possible place for us to stay, but that's a long drive from this hospital. Not insurmountable but difficult.
My kid is tired but generally upbeat atm. But given they'd been looking forward to the hols, a big birthday and starting an exciting new chapter of their life, I think they're going to feel it when they hit bottom.
So I'm consigning to hell fairly minor injuries that have complicated consequences.
Mind you, it's better than Going Away For Easter - one London church I knew basically celebrated Easter on Palm Sunday as they knew they'd be decimated on the day itself!
Can I get them prosecuted?
And:
- People who stand and chat in doorways
- People who stand and chat in corridors, especially the corners of corridors. What is it with you?
- Those who wander in and out of our tea/coffee rooms, in a hurry, without looking. Think for a moment: someone is likely to be carrying a hot drink.
I saw all of these yesterday, and at least two of them every day.
As my Mum used to say, "How can you be so intelligent and act so stupid?"
G was volunteering as a greeter in a charity shop; i.e. he sat in a chair and greeted shoppers. The DWP told him that if he could volunteer as a greeter, he could get a paid job as a greeter. Except a paid greeter is a job that does not exist. Shops do not pay people to sit in a chair and chat to their customers. And even if such a job did exist, and shops did pay people, they wouldn't employ someone whose speech is not clear.
Maybe you should ask the DWP if they would employ him as a greeter at the local Jobcentre, or some such premises.
People who stop and chat at the top or bottom of an escalator.
I no longer have to worry about such things, but even on the very long escalators at Kings Cross, I used to wonder just how much more quickly the fast lane was in getting to the top. I also wondered at the tremendous wrath exercised by some at times whose progress was hindered by a slow person in the fast lane.
Mrs. S, who hasn't needed to commute in London this many a long year
Also, when you're doing the ten-mile hike that gets you from the plane to the immigration hall in Terminal 2 at Heathrow after an overnight flight, standing still on an escalator is a blessèd relief.
I remember the reports of that experiment on the Underground Mrs S. The poor station staff copped a lot of abuse I understand. I've always found that even on the longest escalators, the fast-track people are only a few seconds quicker, and when we reach street-level, we are usually waiting together at the nearest pedestrian crossing signal.
I should add the disclaimer that I don't live or work in London, so my use of the Tube is for recreational purposes only ...
Not necessarily all that paranoid, given today's competitive work ethos...
IJ
Standing on escalators has a greater steady state throughput than walking up them, because you can stack people closer. Standing, you can have someone on (each side of) each step. Walkers tend to need 2 or 3 steps per person.
Nevertheless, if there is a space in front of you on the escalator, it is always faster to move into it than to remain standing.
The difference is in the loading of the escalator - if people enter the escalator and keep walking, the person behind them tends to leave extra space. Once you've stacked two people on each step, there's no magic need for them to remain stationary.
By contrast, I always walk (fast) down the travelators / escalators at airports, because I've just spent 8 hours sat on a plane, and need a change!
Yes! And people who swim abreast in the lane so they can chat (or kiss and cuddle), so no one can swim around in the clockwise or anticlockwise way intended. And the lifeguards who don’t bother telling them they can’t do that in a lane. And the people who swim right in the middle of the lane rather than to the side indicated, and the people who swim with the stroke I call splash stroke, where they just whack the water ferociously with the palms of their hands and their legs, and the huge splashes reach everyone in all the other lanes.
This is why I try to go swimming at times when the pool is empty.
I suspect that the one I killed in the middle of Friday night may be there already, but he left his revenge in the form of at least two stings on my inner forearm, which has been swollen, itchy and generally extremely hellish for three whole days already.
Mrs. S, fuming