Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Thx, Enoch. I thought it was something from sports, like red warning flag or some such.
  • Sorry not to have explained!
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    It's ok. :)
  • Bournemouth Daily Echo

    Man took unknown substance during drug driving arrest in Bournemouth
    Driving a drug has got to be very difficult.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    And he took the "unknown substance" there in front of the cops, during the arrest?
  • Golden Key wrote: »
    And he took the "unknown substance" there in front of the cops, during the arrest?

    Maybe he was trying to destroy the evidence?

  • He did take it during the arrest. Presumably, if then tested positive, he could claim that he hadn't been under the drug's influence beforehand (i.e. while driving).
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Maybe he meant to share it with the cops? But couldn't manage the coordination? And figured he shouldn't waste it...
  • and. did they sanitize their hands, and maintain 6' space while passing said "substance" around?
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Golden Key wrote: »
    Maybe he meant to share it with the cops? But couldn't manage the coordination? And figured he shouldn't waste it...

    Perhaps he could have, but even better would have been to join with them in a local marketing programme.
  • Not really funny but (from the "Daily Record") a curiously indecisive set of ingredients|:

    Pot Noodle thugs battered Glasgow shopkeeper
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Knowing some of the dietary preferences in Glasgow, is one sure they hadn't seized the shopkeeper to batter him or her to serve with the pot noodles? Do shopkeepers test better battered than, say, refuse collectors, cod, or Mars Bars?
  • Who knows?
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    'Pensioner's relief as car park toilet block moves' (BBC Scotland)

    I'd find it faintly disturbing myself.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    We've all been troubled by wind that's as bad as that.
  • But I hope none of us was making use of a park toilet block at the time!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited July 2020
    From the Independent, this insightful headline:
    Scientists discover tiny dinosaur ancestor ‘that would make great pet’
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Enoch wrote: »
    Knowing some of the dietary preferences in Glasgow, is one sure they hadn't seized the shopkeeper to batter him or her to serve with the pot noodles? Do shopkeepers test better battered than, say, refuse collectors, cod, or Mars Bars?

    He may well have tasted better than a battered Mars Bar (never eaten one, never wanted to either).
  • From the Washington Post:
    Why Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp stands alone on masks

    Everyone else is busy- or- no one wants to be near him.
  • This - from the Welsh Government website no less - is clearly an announcement of their home-rown Space Programme: "Welsh Government support helps Torfaen man launch bicycle repair business". (Pity about the last two words being there).
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Is it a sort of Welsh version of this?
  • Egypt tells Elon Musk its pyramids were not built by aliens

    I mean, it is completely true and accurate. I just find it incredible that this is a headline - and most read on the BBC site.
  • From Wales Online (Mirror Group): 'My son stole a phone aged 17. Soon he'll have spent 10 years in jail for it'. The matter is actually a serious one ... but why do we need to know the age of the phone>
  • Theft of a newer phone would have incurred a stiffer sentence, I would imagine.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Form The Guardian:
    'Most sophisticated tunnel in US history' discovered between Mexico and Arizona
    Riiiight. More sophisticated than any other tunnel anywhere in the US, at any one time? Bummer!
  • On the headline feed of BBC World News America:

    Wild bear that sniffed woman's hair is caught and castrated

    Ah, but it will always have its memories.
  • On the headline feed of BBC World News America:

    Wild bear that sniffed woman's hair is caught and castrated

    Ah, but it will always have its memories.

    Boy they sure showed him. No bear-human hybrids in that park.
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    edited August 2020
    From the Guardian, with an awesome photo:

    German Nudist Chases Wild Boar that Stole Laptop
  • "Underground heating projects get £16m cash boost" - fortunately not a headline from London but one from BBC Wales, about using waste heat from industry to heat homes.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    These are both serious--the first, disturbing; and the second, cool, fascinating, etc.

    "Baboons 'carrying knives and chainsaw' spotted in safari park" (Yahoo).

    The question is whether they acquired them on their own, or were given them by human visitors...
    :eek:

    "Fossils Show that Monkeys RAFTED across the Atlantic 30 Million Years Ago" (The Vintage News).

    Mentions the Smithsonian and the journal "Science", but no links to them that I can see.
  • W HyattW Hyatt Shipmate
    A Washington Post headline that took me a moment to figure out:
    Suspected ISIS cleric accused of inspiring American terrorists to stand trial in New York
  • W Hyatt wrote: »
    A Washington Post headline that took me a moment to figure out:
    Suspected ISIS cleric accused of inspiring American terrorists to stand trial in New York

    Commas can be quite useful. I had to check the Washington Post to see what this was really saying.
  • I would imagine, though, that American terrorists would be very reluctant to stand trial, especially in New York. They would need all the inspiration they could get.

  • From the BBC website

    "Penguin waddling in Broxtowe picked up by police"

    Since when was waddling a crime....

  • W HyattW Hyatt Shipmate
    Maybe it's not about actual penguins, but about a new local style of walking being adopted by the police.
  • W Hyatt wrote: »
    Maybe it's not about actual penguins, but about a new local style of walking being adopted by the police.

    That's how I read it.
  • Isn't there something in the Christmas Story about waddling cloth?
  • From the BBC:
    A penguin waddling through a village has been picked up by police officers!

    They were on patrol in Broxtowe, Nottinghamshire, when they spotted the Humboldt penguin in a village street in the early hours of Sunday.

    The bird, nicknamed Po-Po, had escaped from a farm enclosure and then managed to waddle a mile up the road.

    Police caught up with him and returned it to owner.

    :smile:
  • mousethief wrote: »
    W Hyatt wrote: »
    Maybe it's not about actual penguins, but about a new local style of walking being adopted by the police.

    That's how I read it.
    mousethief wrote: »
    W Hyatt wrote: »
    Maybe it's not about actual penguins, but about a new local style of walking being adopted by the police.

    That's how I read it.

    I never saw that - but now you come to mention it...
  • It was a genuine penguin.
  • Pendragon wrote: »
    It was a genuine penguin.

    Is there any other kind?
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Beware the false penguin!

    Actually, I think of Monty Python's penguin atop a television set as a toy penguin. Otherwise, exploding it would be rather rude!
  • There's The Penguin in the Blues Brothers movie. Don't know if she waddled.
  • As far as I'm concerned, this is a fake Penguin: https://tinyurl.com/y6lnyg49

    Proper Penguins are chocolate biscuits, not cake - Is Outrage!
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Yes, not wise to mess with the "Blues Brothers"' Penguin.

    There's also Penguin the villain, in the Batman-verse. I prefer the version in the old, live-action TV show, played by Burgess Meredith.
  • When I was in elementary school, maybe 3rd grade, our teacher read to us every day. "Mister Popper's Penguins" is one I remember, but only in this way: for many years I believed that penguins were about the same size as humans. I was stunned when I saw, on TV films of Antarctic , that the penguins were only knee high to the explorers. It was a belief that I found hard to get rid of.
  • Lego Piece Escapes Boy's Nose after Two Years

    Boy, you're gonna carry that brick, carry that brick a long time...
  • BBC: Why is China cracking down on eating influencers?

    Because influencers are low in nutritional content and probably not organically reared.

    (Unfortunately the mobile version of that headline is more sensibly worded.)
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