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Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Headline from the Washington Post today:
    Powerful East Coast storm may develop Friday into the weekend

    Does Friday need a storm to transform itself into Saturday and Sunday? It seems to have happened quite unrelated to the weather until now!
  • On the Gardening segment of today's TV news:

    Plan your weed killing regiment now

    Never mind those tiresome enemy combatants. Get the troops out there to blast those dandelions and thistles to kingdom come. Perhaps they can formulate a regimen for how best to do so.
  • kbekbe Shipmate
    I remember a North Georgia, USA local newspaper headline in the 1970s telling of a forest ranger's airplane crash on an oddly named mountain. The copies sold out in hours:

    "" Forest Ranger goes down on Chunky Girl"
  • kbe wrote: »
    I remember a North Georgia, USA local newspaper headline in the 1970s telling of a forest ranger's airplane crash on an oddly named mountain. The copies sold out in hours:

    "" Forest Ranger goes down on Chunky Girl"

    Holy moly.
  • On this morning's TV news crawl:

    Man shot by passing car

    Lord help us. Even the cars are packing heat now.
  • From the BBC:
    Hundreds of buffaloes drown 'fleeing lions'
    Despite appearances, it turns out that it was the buffaloes who were fleeing, not the lions. The BBC love of using quote marks for no particular reason strikes again.

  • MMMMMM Shipmate
    Hedgehog, I came here to add that headline! I misread it and wanted to read the article to find out how the buffaloes had managed to do it!

    MMM
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Yeah. The quotation marks indicate that it is said that the buffalo were ‘fleeing [the] lions’, but it has not been verified.
  • MMMMMM Shipmate
    Yeah, I do realise that. But it took a minute. I see the headline has been changed now.

    MMM
  • On tonight's news:

    Man killed after hitting tree

    Hey, them trees don't take no guff from nobody!
  • From today's "i" newspaper: "Prince marks birthday with regeneration". So it's finally been revealed: Charles is a Time Lord.

    (What the article is really about is his support for various urban renewal schemes).
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I reckon we'd all quite like to mark our birthdays with a spot of regeneration! :smiley:
  • On the BBC website:
    Thomas Cook still suffering from heatwave.
    Someone needs to sort out their air conditioning.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    On tonight's news:

    Man killed after hitting tree

    Hey, them trees don't take no guff from nobody!

    Is it related to the wicked apple trees in "The Wizard Of Oz"?
  • Not exactly a headline flub, but I am amused that the BBC website currently has running both: "US stock markets rally after slump" AND "Stock markets resume downward slide."

    (The time stamp on the first is 18h and on the second is 2h--so both are accurate headlines; just confusing!)
  • On this morning's ever-reliable TV news crawl:

    Suspect shooting police officer here illegal

    And where is it legal, pray tell?
  • From BBC news and Twitter:
    A guy holed up in a house in PA, having shot some police cars, demanded a SWAT cop sing White Christmas to him.

    "We’re live on @CBSPhilly at 4, 5, and 6p with how a Christmas Carrol lead to the man being taken into custody"

    You ask, what's a Carrol? You know.... like Sillent Nighht
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ... You ask, what's a Carrol?
    Maybe it was the gun-fight at the OK Carrol.

    I'll see myself out ... :mrgreen:

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    "We’re live on @CBSPhilly at 4, 5, and 6p with how a Christmas Carrol lead to the man being taken into custody"
    Plus it's either 'leads' (Present Simple tense) or 'led' (Past Simple, or with 'has', Past Participle). - Is outrage!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From Reuters:
    Scotland's Sturgeon under fire on handling of Salmond harassment case

    Sounds fishy!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From a local rag:
    Dead man fell down stairs, police say

    Though we do not know whether the man - who was found dead - was already dead when he followed the hefty call of gravity, or if he died later.
  • The BBC informs us:
    "South Korea sees boost in banana crop"

    Better a boost in bananas, than a banana skins slide.
  • Leave it to those clever South Koreans to figure out a way to put Boost in their bananas.
  • From today's Times

    Facebook used games to make millions off children in ‘friendly fraud’

    I'm not sure if this is behind a paywall but in the hopes that it isn't here it is.
  • What parent would let their child have access to their credit cards? Stop the world, please, Miss Amanda wants to get off.

    Of course, if Facebook was saying "Go get Mommy's Visa card out of her purse and don't let her see you doing it," that's a different problem.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Echoes of Peter Sellers
  • What parent would let their child have access to their credit cards?
    I was only able to read the first few sentences, but noted "American court documents indicate that the social media giant encouraged games developers to allow children to spend on cards linked to their parents’ Facebook accounts..."

    I'm not on the Book of Face, but does one need to register a credit card with them?

    [tangent] Apparently back in the 60s, Soupy Sales encouraged the children in his television audience to sneak some “little green pieces of paper” out of their parents’ wallets and send them to him. [/tangent]

  • Pigwidgeon wrote: »
    I'm not on the Book of Face, but does one need to register a credit card with them?

    No. Certainly not.
  • Today's front page headline in the Aberdeen Press & Journal "Tractor with three legged dog on board smashed into house at 4am"

    According to the story, the tractor driver was showing off to his friends by speeding, overcorrected to avoid a lamp-post, ended up inside someone's bathroom, reversed and made good his escape. However "he left a one mile trail of rubble and broken parts from the tractor for police to follow."
  • Three legged dogs should not be permitted to drive, period . . . not even tractors.
  • Three legged dogs should not be permitted to drive, period . . . not even tractors.

    You're a triskipedicaniphobe.
  • Admitted. Acrotomophilia does not appeal to Miss Amanda.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Maybe the tractor was one of these. :smiley:
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Ooo, nice!
  • I never knew they made tractors!
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Looks like something out of the original "Star Wars" movies. Maybe a cousin to the Imperial Walkers? Or something that Luke's relatives could use on the ranch/farm?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Any new headlines, perhaps, folks? Please, dare to post them!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited January 2019
    I never knew they made tractors!
    I believe they were doing that long before they started on flash cars.

    Sorry - I'll stop being tangential now. :blush:
  • This, though not a 'headline', is on a list of closings and delayed openings:

    Faith Factory Learing Center
    Lancaster, Mt Joy, PA
    Thursday Morning: Opening At 8:00 AM

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Perhaps not utterly weird, still a beautiful sequence of words, most of which can be nouns and verbs. This pleases me.

    From the WaPo:
    Judge in Stone case mulls gag order
  • I prefer mulled wine myself, but if you're going to mull gag orders instead you might as well do it in a stone case.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    And an aquatic theme from the Guardian:
    George North seals thrilling Wales comeback after France throw it away
  • Good for George! I hope he's happy in Wales. He didn't really want to live in France anyway, did he, now?
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited February 2019
    And a wonderful mix of journalese from "Wales Online":

    It's something of a cliche to talk about dressing room rockets from the coach, but never mind tea-cups, Gatland would have been justified chucking the urn in the direction of some of his players after what they served up before the break.
  • Call me hopelessly naive, but I actually read the headline to mean that people in Wales are enjoying George North seals (a new species, heretofore unknown) swimming off the coastline once again, after France employed measures to chase them away from their shores.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited February 2019
    From IndyStar, Indianapolis, USA (Link):
    When temperatures fall below about 20 degrees, the salt no longer melts away the snow.

    The reason: science.
    No - the reason is: reality.
    So when the roads are bad, stay home and blame science.
    Shouldn't that be, this is how nature works. Science has discovered this. (So whoever you feel the need to blame, that's how it is.)

    Forgive me: I'm really not trying to start a pond war here or getting into any lengthy arguments in this playful place. This is Circus, and should be fun. However: in view of the strange denial of some people of many scientific facts, and only when it suits them, couldn't these lines be misconstrued?

    (If there is a similiar theme in Purg or elsewhere, I'd be glad for a link. Thanks!)
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited February 2019
    Wesley J wrote: »
    ... Judge in Stone case mulls gag order ...
    That came up in my Google feed, and I had to read it several times before it made sense, even though I knew who Stone was.
  • "Dragon prompts police road safety advice" has just slipped off the BBC homepage.
    Sounds reasonable. If a dragon gives me advice I take it.
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    What parent would let their child have access to their credit cards? Stop the world, please, Miss Amanda wants to get off.

    Of course, if Facebook was saying "Go get Mommy's Visa card out of her purse and don't let her see you doing it," that's a different problem.

    Here's a way it could happen. Parents set up a payment method to buy things off Facebook ads. Kids discover it works for them, too. And
    Wesley J wrote: »
    From IndyStar, Indianapolis, USA (Link):
    When temperatures fall below about 20 degrees, the salt no longer melts away the snow.

    The reason: science.
    No - the reason is: reality.
    So when the roads are bad, stay home and blame science.
    Shouldn't that be, this is how nature works. Science has discovered this. (So whoever you feel the need to blame, that's how it is.)

    Forgive me: I'm really not trying to start a pond war here or getting into any lengthy arguments in this playful place. This is Circus, and should be fun. However: in view of the strange denial of some people of many scientific facts, and only when it suits them, couldn't these lines be misconstrued?

    (If there is a similiar theme in Purg or elsewhere, I'd be glad for a link. Thanks!)
    The journalist who wrote the article would have done well to have minored in a science. Or at least to have paid attention in high school physics.

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