Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Eat them and an hour later you're hungry for arguments that sway one to your way of thinking.
  • BBC: 'Missing school worse for children than virus' and illegal rave fines.

    Not sure how children would be able to pay fines..
  • And I wonder how the virus is harmed by missing school?
  • Zacchaeus wrote: »
    BBC: 'Missing school worse for children than virus' and illegal rave fines.

    Not sure how children would be able to pay fines..

    Being that the fines are illegal, I'm sure they would contest them . . . and that a plethora of lawyers would be beating a path to their door to represent them in court.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    One would have thought that if the school went missing during both the summer holidays and the pandemic, that would reduce the risk to children of any - or many - of them being inside it when it disappeared.

    Has it vanished completely, or is it just that the buildings have disappeared leaving an empty space where it was? Or is the real danger the fear that it might suddenly land at random somewhere else, crushing those underneath.

  • Perhaps it went on holiday and has got trapped by a lockdown at its destination?
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Zacchaeus wrote: »
    BBC: 'Missing school worse for children than virus' and illegal rave fines.

    Not sure how children would be able to pay fines..

    If a school is missing, how can it be worse?
  • On one of the local TV station's news crawl today:

    Schoolchildren finishing their studies can engage in steam enrichment

    Just what the world needs now . . . enriched steam.
  • Gee D wrote: »
    If a school is missing, how can it be worse?

    I can think of a number of people who would be much better if they were missing. Perhaps a school can be like that?
  • What are 'rave' fines?
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    edited August 2020
    A rave is a very large party with loud music and dancing. Rave fines are levied against people at a rave for breaching Covid-related social distancing, or other rules.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited August 2020
    Mystics postpone game along with rest of WNBA

    The power of spiritual insight!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Apologies: the above is a headline from the Washington Post.
  • Thank you, BroJames
  • https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-53945912

    It appears that it's penguin season in the news.
  • On this morning's TV news:

    Health care workers to go door to door to stop spread of virus

    Um, wouldn't that increase the chance of spread?
  • From "Wales Online": Suspicious suspects lead police to massive cannabis factory find.

    So what were the suspects suspicious of, and why did they tell the police where to go?
  • Love the alliteration and the scansion. Sounds like the beginning of an epic poem:

    Suspicious subjects lead police
    To massive cannabis factory find.
    "Oh lawmen, sworn to keep the peace,"
    They shouted, "Do not be unkind."

    Do I sense a Circus thread coming on?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Love it, Miss Amanda - go for it! :mrgreen:
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Runner attacked by charging cow in the Pentland Hills

    You can't get attacked by cows for free these days.
  • edited September 2020
    Serves the runner right for trying to collect a toll from the poor cow, who only wanted to graze peacefully in the grassy hills of Pentland.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I live not far from the Pentland Hills, and that's just the excuse I needed not to go running in them ... :mrgreen:
  • From today's"i": "Norway's relaunched cod farms make a splash".

    I didn't know that cod had to be launched?
  • From today's WaPo:
    "New Voice of America overseer called foreign journalists a security risk. Now the staff is revolting."

  • From today's"i": "Norway's relaunched cod farms make a splash".

    I didn't know that cod had to be launched?
    "I throw the fish away and it comes back to me!" --Lew Zealand
  • From BBC News: Civil servants 'must get back to offices quickly'.

    Oh, can't they just walk at the normal speed?
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    Sounds like a boss I had.
  • On a serious topic, but worded strangely:

    Rescue sparked by dog stopped no survivors found

    I'm glad the survivors who were found weren't intimidated by a dog sniffing and yapping around them.
  • Not quite a headline, but this morning I checked out scoreboard.com for today's cricket scores. That disclosed this problematic phrase:

    UNITED KINGDOM: Rachael Heyhoe Flint Trophy Women

    I find the phrase "trophy women" bothersome. Surely there was a better way to say it?

    [Apart from that, I really do find scoreboard.com to be an awesome site for keeping up on virtually any sport you want to check up on--including several that I have never heard of before. (Kabaddi?)]
  • I believe that there should be a for between trophy and women. Or put women's cricket in brackets.

    It's the one-off trophy for ladies' regional cricket this year.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    From somewhere on the interweb, quoted on Facebook:
    Hurricane Teddy bears down on Canada

    Are these Teddy bears particularly windy? :)
  • Piglet wrote: »
    From somewhere on the interweb, quoted on Facebook:
    Hurricane Teddy bears down on Canada

    Are these Teddy bears particularly windy? :)

    Depends on what you feed them.
  • From BBC website: Covid travel restrictions 'may put tortoises in danger'.

    Well yes: they travel so slowly that they won't get back in time to avoid having to self-isolate.
  • AnnAnn Shipmate Posts: 45
    UK can be 'Saudi Arabia of wind power' - PM - and that's just the House of Commons!
  • Well, he does seem to have "extraordinary potential for wind" as the article mentioned.
  • Spoken by a news anchor:

    Ruth Bader Ginsberg lied in state at the Supreme Court

    No, no, no. I doubt that the sainted lady ever told a lie in her life. And if she did so while lying in state, it would indeed have been a miracle, as she was dead and incapable of speech, whether truth or a lie.
  • :flushed:

    From our local news site:
    Fire Brigade Called To Blazing House

    Now, there's a surprise. Who would have thought of a brilliant wheeze like that? Surely you'd send for the Council rat-catcher, no?
  • Spoken by a news anchor:

    Ruth Bader Ginsberg lied in state at the Supreme Court

    No, no, no. I doubt that the sainted lady ever told a lie in her life. And if she did so while lying in state, it would indeed have been a miracle, as she was dead and incapable of speech, whether truth or a lie.

    I'm hoping that miracle will happen when Trump makes his announcement later today.
  • From "Ipswich Star": A former baby bottling plant in Suffolk looks set to become a cocoa production plant. Good thing too, by the sound of it!
  • Can they become reconstituted babies ? Perhaps not, as the plant has turned to cocoa, a much shorter commitment.
  • On the headline crawl of yesterday's BBC World News America broadcast:

    Tesco targets 300% rise in vegan meat sales

    Desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess. :confused:
  • They'll be selling dehydrated water next!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Vegan meat - made with freshly-harvested vegans ... :mrgreen:

    I'll fetch my own coat.
  • From the "Indy" website: "EU takes ‘first step’ in legal action against UK, as PM's father caught without mask inside shop". Well, much as I abhor law-breaking, this does sound like a hammer being used to crack a nut. The whole country affected by the action of one elderly gent!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    A local rag, in the local tongue, here in Continental WesShire has this:
    Head of US Republicans positive

    Which, I guess, is sadly a rare thing with the party these days... even though it's about the virus, apparently!
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    From the Autumn 2020 National Trust members’ magazine
    Dating the Cerne Giant
    If you’ve seen him you’ll know it’s definitely a case of ‘meet your date in a public place’. :worried:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Eeeks! Indeed it is!

    Wasn't there something about him in a recent-ish QI TV programme, where they said that his, ehem, size, has increased over time, up to where there appears to have been a belly button? :blush:
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    Eeeks! Indeed it is!

    Wasn't there something about him in a recent-ish QI TV programme, where they said that his, ehem, size, has increased over time, up to where there appears to have been a belly button? :blush:

    Yes - there was a suggestion that he used to have a belly button, but someone merged the belly button into his member.
  • BroJames wrote: »
    From the Autumn 2020 National Trust members’ magazine
    Dating the Cerne Giant
    If you’ve seen him you’ll know it’s definitely a case of ‘meet your date in a public place’. :worried:
    Your comment made me and my husband laugh out loud!
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    :smiley:
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