Limerick

1568101146

Comments

  • It burst into flame
  • The firemen came
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    And behaved in a manner quite rough.
    There was an Old Man of Provence
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Who could not get it into his sconce
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    For the right kind of candle
    Was too hard to handle
    And always fell out on his bonce.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    A scholar, all bookish and nerdy
  • Wrote several tomes, which were wordy
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    His rambling prose
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    BroJames wrote: »
    For the right kind of candle
    Was too hard to handle
    And always fell out on his bonce.

    Yes, but I suspect that you missed the pun on "sconce" - it's a rather old-fashioned word, used here primarily in the sense of a person's brain/thinking capacity, less so with the meaning that first came to you.
  • Yam_castle wrote: »
    Wrote several tomes, which were wordy

    Quoth his wife with a snap/of her fingers: “such crap!

    Your writings are utterly turdy!”



  • 👏

    There was an Old Lady of Crete
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Who said "I will do what is meet.
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    But if anyone tries
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    To get into my flies
    I'll kick him to Wednesday next week.

    A young fellow was courting a girl
  • And his head was sure in a swirl
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    For his shirt was untucked
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    And a nameless obstruct-
    - ion prevented him kissing young Pearl...
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    A lady who worked in a bank
  • Fell into a foul septic tank
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    I'm happy that Lent is now over
  • Eh?
    :confused:

    Is that the third line?
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Sorry. Wires got crossed somehow. Carry on.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    In the detritus she thrashed,
    Her colleagues got splashed,
    And when she got out they all stank.

    _____________________________

    Fat Puppy and Priti Patel
    Have a ruse with a really vile smell.
    One might speculate
    On their ultimate fate,
    Whether Paradise, Sheol or Hell.

    _____________________________

    I'm happy that Lent is now over

  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    I can rejoin the queue bound for Dover
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    I'll take plenty of snacks
  • Not subject to tax
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    And roll all about in the clover.

    *

    Let's please keep these limericks clean
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    As if the whole thing was on screen
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    They're subject to censors
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    If it gets near the knuckle
    We with soft focus and luck’ll
    Avoid anything approaching obscene.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    My wife has run off to join ISIS,
    I can't really say it's a crisis.
    'Cuz now I can party
    With girls young and arty,
    And satisfy all of my vices.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    …picking up from @Piglet’s line

    To curb their offences
    But obscene still is seen on the screen.
  • Yam_castleYam_castle Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    But if we can't keep these limericks clean
    (New first line)
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    At least be tastef'lly obscene,
    No postcard excesses,
    It upsets the obsessives,
    And on that, our Hosts are quite mean.
  • :lol:

    Trying to get back into at least the spirit of Lear's verses...

    There was an Old Person of Wales
    Who purchased a yacht without sails
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    So, while stuck in the harbour
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    He constructed an arbour
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    And skipped through the lush wooded trails.

    *

    There once was a creature from Pluto

  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Who played on the flute sostenuto
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    He made a goat dance
    The music enhanced
    But now he'll be needing a new toe!
  • A monsignor, late of old Rome
  • Had trouble in finding his home
  • He looked up and down
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    But this man of renown
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Was actually Bishop of Nome.

    (Alaska)

    *

    There once was a talented mime
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Who, when he did speak, spoke always in rhyme.
  • He sounded quite cute
    But preferred to stay mute
    Because scanning quite wasted his time
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    There was this man, who had a scanner
  • Which he used in a cavalier manner
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Enoch wrote: »
    Who, when he did speak, spoke always in rhyme.

    Who when he spoke, did always in rhyme

    Scans better
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