A Sally Army officer called Pete
Would sing rousing hymns in the street
With a horrified face
A pedestrian made space
And kept a distance of over ten feet!
There was a Young Lady of Rhodes
Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
Which she exercised daily
And fed Irish Bailey
Whilst reciting Horatian odes.
A pilgrim, when sailing to Rome
There was an Old Person of Brigg
Whose Young One worked on an oil rig
Far out in the Sea
He yelled "Dad, look at me!"
Before a shark bit off his twig.
My girlfriend looks fetching in boots
There was a young fellow called Nates
Who danced the Fandago on skates.
Till a fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
I have hidden this undoubtedly absolutely brilliant gem, as the previous Limerick is not done yet.
Kindly refresh the page before posting, Ladies and Gents, and please take to heart the Hostly Comment here.
And here is Gee D's again in its full beauty:
There was a young fellow called Nates
Who danced the Fandago on skates.
Till a fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
There was an Old Person of Cornwall
Who had a magnificent porn haul*
He sat in his room
Chanting "Va-va-va-voom!"
Then realised his mags were all torn. Lol.
*It worked better the first time as far as I can see.
There was once a barber called Joe
Who broke down and needed a tow
So he bartered a trim
With a tow man called Jim
Whose trimmed beard now shines with a glow.
There was a Young Man of Kolkata
There was a Young Man of Kolkata
Who started to trade as a hatter
Although hats weren’t his thing
Unless covered in bling
So his hats just got fatter and fatter.
Said a man to his kids and his wife
There was a Young Man of Kolkata
Who started to trade as a hatter
Although hats weren’t his thing
Unless covered in bling
Did it matter for a Kolkata hatter?
An angel with gold on its wings
Had a halo with three golden rings
But he pawned all this metal
To buy a large Kettle
Which sits on the gas-stove, and sings.
An angel addicted to Tea
Comments
Would sing rousing hymns in the street
Would sing rousing hymns in the street
With a horrified face
A pedestrian made space
And kept a distance of over ten feet!
Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
Which she exercised daily
Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
Which she exercised daily
And fed Irish Bailey
Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
Which she exercised daily
And fed Irish Bailey
Whilst reciting Horatian odes.
A pilgrim, when sailing to Rome
Jumped overboard, heading for home
Jumped overboard, heading for home
Why, what did he fear?
Oops...
Deleted.
Jumped overboard, heading for home
Why, what did he fear?
As he roamed, far and near
Jumped overboard, heading for home
Why, what did he fear?
As he roamed, far and near
He would never again need a comb
Whose Young One worked on an oil rig
Whose Young One worked on an oil rig
Far out in the Sea
Whose Young One worked on an oil rig
Far out in the Sea
He yelled "Dad, look at me!"
Before a shark bit off his twig.
My girlfriend looks fetching in boots
where she fetches some meds for her toots
(*wordplay on boots/Boots)
where she fetches some meds for her toots
She also buys Dye
Who danced the Fandago on skates.
Till a fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
I have hidden this undoubtedly absolutely brilliant gem, as the previous Limerick is not done yet.
Kindly refresh the page before posting, Ladies and Gents, and please take to heart the Hostly Comment here.
Thank you. Wesley J, Circus Host
where she fetches some meds for her toots
She also buys Dye
My girlfriend looks fetching in boots
where she fetches some meds for her toots
She also buys Dye
But I do not know why
There was a young fellow called Nates
Who danced the Fandago on skates.
Till a fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.
There was an Old Person of Cornwall
Who had a magnificent porn haul
There was an Old Person of Cornwall
Who had a magnificent porn haul
He sat in his room
Who had a magnificent porno haul
He sat in his room
Chanting "Va-va-va-voom!"
Who had a magnificent porn haul*
He sat in his room
Chanting "Va-va-va-voom!"
Then realised his mags were all torn. Lol.
*It worked better the first time as far as I can see.
Fair enough. I thought the additional "O" sound before the "H" might mimic the "W" sound in "Cornwall", but that's just me.
(Great last line, by the way. I didn't think anyone would come up with an exact rhyme.)
Who broke down and needed a tow
Who broke down and needed a tow
So he bartered a trim
Neither did I.
We're not finished yet, children! Wesley J, Circus Host
There was once a barber called Joe
Who broke down and needed a tow
So he bartered a trim
Who broke down and needed a tow
So he bartered a trim
With a tow man called Jim
Whose trimmed beard now shines with a glow.
There was a Young Man of Kolkata
Who started to trade as a hatter
Who started to trade as a hatter
Although hats weren’t his thing
Who started to trade as a hatter
Although hats weren’t his thing
Unless covered in bling
Who started to trade as a hatter
Although hats weren’t his thing
Unless covered in bling
So his hats just got fatter and fatter.
Said a man to his kids and his wife
Who started to trade as a hatter
Although hats weren’t his thing
Unless covered in bling
Did it matter for a Kolkata hatter?
Said a man to his kids and his wife
"If there's a choice in the next life
"If there's a choice in the next life
I think I'll fly solo
And save myself trouble and strife."
An angel with gold on its wings
Had a halo with three golden rings
Had a halo with three golden rings
But he pawned all this metal
Had a halo with three golden rings
But he pawned all this metal
To buy a large Kettle
Which sits on the gas-stove, and sings.
An angel addicted to Tea