Limerick

18911131446

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  • A Sally Army officer called Pete
    Would sing rousing hymns in the street

  • A Sally Army officer called Pete
    Would sing rousing hymns in the street
    With a horrified face
    A pedestrian made space
    And kept a distance of over ten feet!
    _____

  • There was a Young Lady of Rhodes
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    There was a Young Lady of Rhodes
    Who kept, as her pets, seven toads

  • There was a Young Lady of Rhodes
    Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
    Which she exercised daily
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was a Young Lady of Rhodes
    Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
    Which she exercised daily
    And fed Irish Bailey
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    There was a Young Lady of Rhodes
    Who kept, as her pets, seven toads
    Which she exercised daily
    And fed Irish Bailey
    Whilst reciting Horatian odes.
    A pilgrim, when sailing to Rome
  • A pilgrim, when sailing to Rome
    Jumped overboard, heading for home
  • A pilgrim, when sailing to Rome
    Jumped overboard, heading for home
    Why, what did he fear?
  • :open_mouth:

    Oops...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :open_mouth:

    Oops...

    Deleted. :blush:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    A pilgrim, when sailing to Rome
    Jumped overboard, heading for home
    Why, what did he fear?
    As he roamed, far and near

  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    A pilgrim, when sailing to Rome
    Jumped overboard, heading for home
    Why, what did he fear?
    As he roamed, far and near
    He would never again need a comb

  • There was an Old Person of Brigg
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    There was an Old Person of Brigg
    Whose Young One worked on an oil rig
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    There was an Old Person of Brigg
    Whose Young One worked on an oil rig
    Far out in the Sea

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was an Old Person of Brigg
    Whose Young One worked on an oil rig
    Far out in the Sea
    He yelled "Dad, look at me!"
    Before a shark bit off his twig.


    My girlfriend looks fetching in boots





  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    My girlfriend looks fetching in boots*
    where she fetches some meds for her toots

    (*wordplay on boots/Boots)
  • My girlfriend looks fetching in boots*
    where she fetches some meds for her toots
    She also buys Dye
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    There was a young fellow called Nates
    Who danced the Fandago on skates.
    Till a fall on his cutlass
    Rendered him nutless
    And practically useless on dates.

    I have hidden this undoubtedly absolutely brilliant gem, as the previous Limerick is not done yet.

    Kindly refresh the page before posting, Ladies and Gents, and please take to heart the Hostly Comment here.

    Thank you. Wesley J, Circus Host :)
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    My girlfriend looks fetching in boots
    where she fetches some meds for her toots
    She also buys Dye
  • I'll move the previous Pome Peom Poem on a bit...

    My girlfriend looks fetching in boots
    where she fetches some meds for her toots
    She also buys Dye
    But I do not know why
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    The pharmacist's the one in cahoots.

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited April 2022
    And here is Gee D's again in its full beauty: :)

    There was a young fellow called Nates
    Who danced the Fandago on skates.
    Till a fall on his cutlass
    Rendered him nutless
    And practically useless on dates.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    👏👏

    There was an Old Person of Cornwall
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was an Old Person of Cornwall
    Who had a magnificent porn haul



  • :lol:

    There was an Old Person of Cornwall
    Who had a magnificent porn haul
    He sat in his room
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was an Old Person of Cornwall
    Who had a magnificent porno haul
    He sat in his room
    Chanting "Va-va-va-voom!"

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    [As the writer of the second line, I made a slight change for better rhyming.]
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    There was an Old Person of Cornwall
    Who had a magnificent porn haul*
    He sat in his room
    Chanting "Va-va-va-voom!"
    Then realised his mags were all torn. Lol.

    *It worked better the first time as far as I can see.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    jrw wrote: »
    *It worked better the first time as far as I can see.

    Fair enough. I thought the additional "O" sound before the "H" might mimic the "W" sound in "Cornwall", but that's just me.

    (Great last line, by the way. I didn't think anyone would come up with an exact rhyme.)

  • There was once a barber called Joe
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    There was once a barber called Joe
    Who broke down and needed a tow
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was once a barber called Joe
    Who broke down and needed a tow
    So he bartered a trim

  • stetson wrote: »
    jrw wrote: »
    *It worked better the first time as far as I can see.

    Fair enough. I thought the additional "O" sound before the "H" might mimic the "W" sound in "Cornwall", but that's just me.

    (Great last line, by the way. I didn't think anyone would come up with an exact rhyme.)

    Neither did I.
    :naughty:
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2022
    There was a Young Man of Kolkata

    We're not finished yet, children! Wesley J, Circus Host

    There was once a barber called Joe
    Who broke down and needed a tow
    So he bartered a trim
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    There was once a barber called Joe
    Who broke down and needed a tow
    So he bartered a trim
    With a tow man called Jim
    Whose trimmed beard now shines with a glow.
    There was a Young Man of Kolkata

  • Oops...sorry...
    :blush:
  • There was a Young Man of Kolkata
    Who started to trade as a hatter
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    There was a Young Man of Kolkata
    Who started to trade as a hatter
    Although hats weren’t his thing
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There was a Young Man of Kolkata
    Who started to trade as a hatter
    Although hats weren’t his thing
    Unless covered in bling

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    There was a Young Man of Kolkata
    Who started to trade as a hatter
    Although hats weren’t his thing
    Unless covered in bling
    So his hats just got fatter and fatter.
    Said a man to his kids and his wife
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    edited April 2022
    There was a Young Man of Kolkata
    Who started to trade as a hatter
    Although hats weren’t his thing
    Unless covered in bling
    Did it matter for a Kolkata hatter?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Nice! :smiley:
    Said a man to his kids and his wife
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Said a man to his kids and his wife

    "If there's a choice in the next life
  • Said a man to his kids and his wife
    "If there's a choice in the next life
    I think I'll fly solo
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Said a man to his kids and his wife
    "If there's a choice in the next life
    I think I'll fly solo
    Have parties, play polo,
    And save myself trouble and strife."


    An angel with gold on its wings

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    An angel with gold on its wings
    Had a halo with three golden rings
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    An angel with gold on its wings
    Had a halo with three golden rings
    But he pawned all this metal

  • An angel with gold on its wings
    Had a halo with three golden rings
    But he pawned all this metal
    To buy a large Kettle
    Which sits on the gas-stove, and sings.
    An angel addicted to Tea
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