Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Here's yet another headline made weird by a misplaced "as". From The Standard, I believe.


    Shocking pictures show train station outside London completely flooded as it’s closed until Christmas Eve.

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Quite. Here's the link. Apparently, it's due to a burst sewer pipe, which makes matters even worse!
  • I wonder why we have to be told that it is shocking? It's an inconveniently large amount of water in the wrong place, right enough, but unless the overhead wires somehow got into it it shouldn't have shocked anyone. Consider the national annual savings in printer's ink (or electrons) were the word 'shocking' to be dropped by the newspapers.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I think, it's a bit s**t, that's why.
  • I wonder why we have to be told that it is shocking? It's an inconveniently large amount of water in the wrong place, right enough, but unless the overhead wires somehow got into it it shouldn't have shocked anyone. Consider the national annual savings in printer's ink (or electrons) were the word 'shocking' to be dropped by the newspapers.

    Quite, but lots of dirty water in the wrong place is hardly 'Noos' these days. I'm surprised they didn't tell us how outraged and traumatised local rail passengers are by the resultant carnage and chaos...

  • Another Oxford Wail cracker. Unusually, this seems to be accurate reporting!
    https://flic.kr/p/2rLzkQQ
    Hedgehog wrote: »
    Fake news! I'm innocent!
    I wonder why we have to be told that it is shocking? It's an inconveniently large amount of water in the wrong place, right enough, but unless the overhead wires somehow got into it it shouldn't have shocked anyone. Consider the national annual savings in printer's ink (or electrons) were the word 'shocking' to be dropped by the newspapers.

    Quite, but lots of dirty water in the wrong place is hardly 'Noos' these days. I'm surprised they didn't tell us how outraged and traumatised local rail passengers are by the resultant carnage and chaos...

    I think the rail users are probably all too used to their station being full of shit...
  • It's because they're all trapped in gridlock in their local supermarket's car park.

    By the way, have you noticed how passengers are almost always "commuters" in the Press?
  • O yes, I'd forgotten about being trapped in gridlock.
  • I wonder why we have to be told that it is shocking? It's an inconveniently large amount of water in the wrong place, right enough, but unless the overhead wires somehow got into it it shouldn't have shocked anyone. Consider the national annual savings in printer's ink (or electrons) were the word 'shocking' to be dropped by the newspapers.

    Quite, but lots of dirty water in the wrong place is hardly 'Noos' these days. I'm surprised they didn't tell us how outraged and traumatised local rail passengers are by the resultant carnage and chaos...

    I am sure they could have found someone whose "Christmas is ruined by this". Or how it would all be better under a Reform government (Who would, I am sure, ban water from underground stations)
  • I wonder why we have to be told that it is shocking? It's an inconveniently large amount of water in the wrong place, right enough, but unless the overhead wires somehow got into it it shouldn't have shocked anyone. Consider the national annual savings in printer's ink (or electrons) were the word 'shocking' to be dropped by the newspapers.

    Quite, but lots of dirty water in the wrong place is hardly 'Noos' these days. I'm surprised they didn't tell us how outraged and traumatised local rail passengers are by the resultant carnage and chaos...

    I am sure they could have found someone whose "Christmas is ruined by this". Or how it would all be better under a Reform government (Who would, I am sure, ban water from underground stations)

    Yes, there will be some who will volubly express their fury and disgust at the ruining of their Christmas.
  • Here we go again: TV presenter found dead on roof as tributes pour in. That sounds as if the tributes killed the poor chap. Why do we keep getting this "as", especially as a semicolon would do the job better and more economically?
  • Here we go again: TV presenter found dead on roof as tributes pour in. That sounds as if the tributes killed the poor chap. Why do we keep getting this "as", especially as a semicolon would do the job better and more economically?

    Quite. These 'reports' are ISTM produced by AI robots, who have not been programmed to write in English.
  • From the "i": Macron confirms new aircraft carrier.

    This begs two questions: whether the carrier has been baptised (or even built); and whether Macron has been ordained (and raised to the Episcopate). We Should Be Told.
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    From the New York Times: "The Catholic Priest Who Has Maduro's Ear"

    I wasn't previously aware that the papists had resorted to abducting individual body parts, let alone those of dictators. I wonder whether they'll try reverse transubstantiation and turn it into bread.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Eeeks!
  • Emergency services rush to busy Tesco as all shoppers forced to leave. For once that actually seems to be correct!
  • Traumatised and outraged shoppers fury and heartbreak as supermarket forced to close...
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited December 23
    Carnage in car park as panicked shoppers attempt to flee suspected superstore horror.
  • :lol:

    This could almost become a game, were it not for the extremely limited vocabulary required...
  • Carnage in car park as panicked shoppers attempt to flee suspected superstore horror.

    Ok, who invited a Great Old One to their Solstice do and forgot to return them?...
  • A lot of papers seem to mention shoppers "descending on" or "flooding" town centres.

    Parachutes and lifebelts, anyone?, anyone?
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    edited December 24
    carex wrote: »
    Mount St. Helens is not erupting this week, scientists say

    Well, that's a reassuring short-term forecast, at least, although one would think that those who can see it on the horizon would come to the same conclusion.

    But they didn't, and that's the purpose of the news release: those watching it saw what appeared to be steam or ash venting from (what remains of) the top. It was actually volcanic ash left from the 1980 explosion that was picked up by a strong East wind and blown a few km into the sky.

    Actually, there have been a swarm of earthquakes happening along the Cascade Belt this past few weeks. See map. Every time this happens, everyone holds their breath, especially those down wind of the volcanoes. While the report cited is from Sept 2025, we are going into 2026 waiting for one of those things to blow their top again.
  • Uproar as cars continue to be banned from idyllic Welsh beach. I can't help thinking that there'd be more {up}roaring if the cars were allowed back ...
  • From today's "i": Endangered curlews rally on Dartmoor. Wow - I didn't know they could drive!
  • If they are endangered, possibly it is because they can't drive very well?
  • True (possibly).
  • BBC website: Pilot cut from plane after crashing in field. No, it was the plane that crashed, not the pilot.
  • Even better would be Pilot cut from plane as it crashes in field...
  • Which would be quite a feat! (But this was the BBC, not you-know-where).
  • Which would be quite a feat! (But this was the BBC, not you-know-where).

    :lol:

    Understood...
  • I hope the pilot got a bandage for that cut.
  • The West Coast Today newsletter tells us this morning: Sex attacker jailed at children's home. I think someone was practising juggling with the words and caught them in the wrong order.
  • The West Coast Today newsletter tells us this morning: Sex attacker jailed at children's home. I think someone was practising juggling with the words and caught them in the wrong order.
    This morning it has been changed to Sex attacker at children's home jailed.
  • Which, of course, is what they meant in the first place. Weren't there once beings called editors who used to check this sort of thing?
  • I sometimes wonder if these might be caused by editors pushing back and not checking:

    Initial headline: Sex attacker jailed
    Editor: "You need to include the fact he worked at a childrens home"
    Intern: Sex attacker jailed at childrens home
  • You could be right!

    Meanwhile, more of 'the usual': Fire broke out in Swansea as people were urged 'avoid the area'. It seems remarkably prescient of the authorities to warn people even before the fire started.
  • O! the members of the Save The Semi-Colon Society must be livid...
  • I'm a signed-up member, of course ...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited January 9
    O! the members of the Save The Semi-Colon Society must be livid...

    We are, we are! :mrgreen:

  • So, too, are the member's of the Save The Apostrophe From Grocer's Society...
  • Indeed: almost as useful as the colon.
  • So, too, are the member's of the Save The Apostrophe From Grocer's Society...

    Don't you mean "Grocer's"?
  • Perhap's...
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Here is a headline that raises more questions than it answers:

    A hidden blob of water has abruptly reappeared in the Atlantic

    Ummmmmm, what?
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    A blob of water in an ocean...who'd have thunk?
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited January 13
    Mariners outrage as water appears in ocean...

    Intriguing, though. Do you have a linky @Hedgehog ?
  • Apparently this 'blob' is the Atlantic Equatorial Water, separating the North Atlantic from the South Atlantic. Roughly along the equator.
    Scientists have known about similar 'blobs' in the Indian Ocean and the Pacific but the Atlantic one has remained a theory until its recent appearance.

    I don't think it has actually appeared, but has been located by difference in temperature & salinity (or some such)

    Good to realise that there are new discoveries to be made out there in God's awesome creation.
  • Indeed.
    :wink:
  • SipechSipech Shipmate
    From the BBC:
    I'm not racist, says Reform MS who used Chinese slur

    I'm other news: I'm not a bear, says ursine mammal who defecates in the woods.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Here is a link to the hidden blob of water article, but @Roseofsharon has summed it up quite well.
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