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Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Thanks Miss Amanda - that's priceless.
  • Definitely!
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited September 23
    BBC again: "UK warned over ballooning debt costs and slower growth ahead of Budget". Clearly we should buy cheaper balloons which are easier to pump up.
  • Especially like this.

    I recognise him! He drives past our house every day and throws his empties out the window.
  • From the Associated Press:

    Xi is wrapping his visit to Washington with a peek at the Constitution and the Bill of Rights

    Nice to know that there is one President who is interested in them.
  • I doubt if Mr Xi will adopt any parts of them in his own country, though. Mr Trump is learning quite a lot from him, it seems.
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    Discovery of 97 million files related to SAS inquiry 'regrettable', MoD says.

    (From the BBC)
  • Well, someone has more than a day's work cut out for them, that's for sure.
  • Discovery of 97 million files related to SAS inquiry 'regrettable', MoD says.

    (From the BBC)

    The substance of the report is worth reading too (before the Beeb removes it).

  • Can't read it without subscribing.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    That's strange - I did,
  • I wonder how they arrived at the figure of 97M? That works out to be roughly one document - memos, emails, texts, photos etc - generated for every second of the 3 years in question.
  • I wonder how they arrived at the figure of 97M? That works out to be roughly one document - memos, emails, texts, photos etc - generated for every second of the 3 years in question.


    If each page of each document is electronically scanned separately then the number increases dramatically. I’ve worked on systems like this, and the military generates documents like you wouldn’t believe (been there too).
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited September 27
    I assume a lot of duplication too - an email trail existing in multiple inboxes for example. But it’s a lot to find down the back of a sofa, at the last minute, several years into a public enquiry.
  • There are so many questions this raises. That is a huge amount of material to "accidentally" miss. I mean, I have worked for companies who generate a lot of unneeded documentation, but this is an extraordinary amount to have found after they have been looking into things for 3 years.

    But the best part, of course, is the "regrettable". Is it regrettable that they were found? Or that they were missed? Or that they were produced in the first place?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited September 27
    [...] But the best part, of course, is the "regrettable". Is it regrettable that they were found? Or that they were missed? Or that they were produced in the first place?
    It's a good sample for this thread, isn't it.

    I bet they hate that the files were found, and would have preferred them to remain hidden. But the way it is put, everything's up in the air. And thus we can poke fun at them.
  • edited September 28
    On this morning's TV news headline crawl:

    Woman turns self in after shooting mother in Cave Creek

    Let that be a lesson to you, mothers: Never, NEVER venture into Cave Creek!
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    And don't go into the barn with that guy no matter how much he promises you kittens.
  • I mean, you don't need to know anything about Cave Creek to know that it is a place of doom. Like "anything Gully" - if you are a cowboy, you will die there.

    And never go to "The Warehouse District"

    Do some people not watch proper TV?
  • I do ... but I have no idea what "The Warehouse District" is!
  • I do ... but I have no idea what "The Warehouse District" is!

    Possibly the gentrified docklands, in which the old tatty warehouses were tarted up for Yuppies*

    *Do we have Yuppies any more? Since the sub-prime generated credit crunch they must be an endangered species.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    If you've reached rock bottom, upwardly is the only sort of mobile you can be ...
  • I mean, you don't need to know anything about Cave Creek to know that it is a place of doom.

    It's actually quite nice. Quite gentrified. But mothers beware!
  • I do ... but I have no idea what "The Warehouse District" is!

    So many cop shows, the abandoned docks (an American tern, I think) there are always warehouses all kitted out for a chase and shootout.

    So many cops have met there end in that.
  • Thank you.
  • Lamb ChoppedLamb Chopped Shipmate
    edited October 1
    It's what locally gets referred to as "the depressed area" which is kind of pitiful, to be honest. But realistic, since those mostly unused warehouses were built during the heyday of river traffic, now in decline. And the empty warehouses make a great place to get murdered or to have someone stalk you in an action drama.
  • With appropriate creepy music, furtive glances around abandoned hardware and crates, flickering lights, and echo.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Wales Online Comic Gold:

    Dead Cardiff City star's son breaks silence on tragedy and the claims he's still alive

    One has to admit that breaking silence will just fuel the suspicion that you are still alive.

    And a bonus:

    Police find body of man in Welsh town

    I presume the town was Women-Only?
  • Or perhaps he was the only man.
  • "I'm the ONLY man in the village"
  • There have, I'm sorry to say, a number of headlines recently in the UK with a phrase like, 'woman survives lethal injection'. Oh dear.
  • A story in the New York Times began with someone stealing an airport tug (used for moving planes) and continued with an unusual hijacking:

    Mr. Barr attempted to steal an American Airlines lavatory truck before he was arrested by the airport police.

    So far, no word as to his motive.
  • Headlined in various publications, and online.
    Not weird in the wording of the headline but just, oh so weird that it actually exists.

    'The Orange Plague': Naked Trump statue on display at European Parliament in Strasbourg

    WHY?!

    Haven't added a link, or you'll all need eye-bleach
  • More fitting than a ballroom, a triumphal arch, or a colored bottom for a reflecting pool.
  • Well, that will really help US/EU relations! Is that a flock of tariffs I can see approaching?

    Could we get the Plague back into its laboratory in Washington (or Florida)?
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited October 8
    From "Rail Advent": "Sussex steam locomotives involved in incident as report released".

    Er, no - the report came out today, the incident occurred in August 2025. That pesky "as" again! Why do they do it? Why not, "Report released on Sussex steam locomotives involved in incident"?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Are we sure that it is not a case where the locomotives were so startled by the release of the report that they jumped the tracks?
  • I'm sure steam locomotives don't limit themselves to a single incident.
  • I can definitely say that no jumping took place (nor did injury or damage).
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Even replacing ‘as’ with a simple dash would be an improvement.
  • A story in the New York Times began with someone stealing an airport tug (used for moving planes) and continued with an unusual hijacking:

    Mr. Barr attempted to steal an American Airlines lavatory truck before he was arrested by the airport police.

    So far, no word as to his motive.

    The police have nothing to go on...

  • The police have nothing to go on...
    The old ones are the best, so they say

  • No, no! It wasn't a truck with a lavatory on board. It was a truck filled with what had recently been through the plane's lavatories. The hijacker was a man with a serious - but apparently undefined - problem. Or possibly an unusual hobby.
  • Thanks for the clarification...
    :flushed:

    (The 'flushed' emoji seemed appropriate)
  • No, no! It wasn't a truck with a lavatory on board. It was a truck filled with what had recently been through the plane's lavatories. The hijacker was a man with a serious - but apparently undefined - problem. Or possibly an unusual hobby.
    Or a mission.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    An extreme excrementist.
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    An extreme excrementist.

    He wasn't too involved - just going through the motions.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Not strictly from a headline, but this ambiguity is from a brief news summary circulated by the iPaper today. 'Its' in this, is the Green Party.
    Its leader Zack Polanski insists he’s going nowhere.

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    That's pretty honest for a politican.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Wesley J wrote: »
    That's pretty honest for a politican.

    I'd vote for him.
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