@Sandemaniac, I believe love and care transcend distance. I am sure your kind words and thoughts across the ether even those things not said aloud by you bring comfort. I agree Evil bastard disease.
The brother is clear of the bowel cancer, but seems currently determined to die of self-neglect instead.
He is alone, in a house ill-suited to his mobility problems. He has little social contact bar a few pub mates. His daughter lives hundreds of miles away - and has a one-year-old. Other brother is in Ireland and poor health. I am sole carer for Mr F. He is not eating.
OB, who has kept up the most regular contact, is trying to gee him by phone.
I don't know what to do, what to say, to budge the whole weight of a personality set these years, even before bereavement and illness, in passivity and procrastination.
Setting up a care package not only needs initiative from another party - the daughter would be the obvious candidate - but also willingness to engage from the object.
Unfortunately both are introverts, drifters, cannae-be-bothered.
Update on A, its been a devastating week. I cannot believe that a week ago she could walk around, hold things without dropping them, stay awake for more than a few minutes, swallow without difficulty ect etc. These are all unimaginable now. We had a hospice nurse visit this afternoon to assess her. She had expressed a preference to stay at home for end of life care if possible (She'd discussed it with a close friend but it was news to me) ... so tonight we had a hospital bed delivered and there will be carers coming in at least twice a day from tomorrow. The nurse indicated that the speed of this decline over just 3 or 4 days indicated she may only have days left now. I'm just a bit shellshocked
We saw a similar swift decline in one of our friends about twelve months ago. Bright and cheerful at Christmas services. Gone within six weeks. Praying that A can be comfortable and receive loving care as her life's journey comes to its close.
A little bit of good news here for a change, my oncologist is sending me for some CAT scans, and if they have good results, I can have the chemo port which was installed in my chest removed.
So sorry, When one is ill the last thing you need is an unhelpful treatment plan by an insurance company. I won a fight with pharmacy insurance by calling and asking for the name and qualifications of the person who denied my coverage. By law in the US they have to answer that question. It just as well might be someone with a high school diploma looking for keywords on a chart. If it is a MD it may not be one who is a specialist in your field of illness. Not wanting to give me that information they approved the drug. I wish you well and am so glad to hear that your doctor is willing to fight for you.
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He is alone, in a house ill-suited to his mobility problems. He has little social contact bar a few pub mates. His daughter lives hundreds of miles away - and has a one-year-old. Other brother is in Ireland and poor health. I am sole carer for Mr F. He is not eating.
OB, who has kept up the most regular contact, is trying to gee him by phone.
I don't know what to do, what to say, to budge the whole weight of a personality set these years, even before bereavement and illness, in passivity and procrastination.
Unfortunately both are introverts, drifters, cannae-be-bothered.
Peace attend you both.
Continued prayers for @Gracious Rebel and A.