In this heat, you may not wear a sweater
In fact, when perspiring there's better
Ways to keep cool
Like a plunge in the pool
Or composing a cold-hearted letter.
There was an Old Man with a Wife
Who’d accomp’nied his songs on the fife
But when his voice broke
And he started to choke
She hoped it would finish his life.
Said Albert: "E equals MC
And I'll throw in a 'squared' just for free”
You know this is true
When you look at the view
In the midst of a near-light-speed spree.
Said Darwin, while stuck on the Beagle:
"Is that albatross, kite, or sea eagle?"
A policeman appeared
With a really long beard
Said, "Dunno, but your ship is illegal.
Albatross, famous theme from The Python
Is rather unlike any syphon.
But the fish-slapping dance
Is another nice stance
By Python, and writ' with a hyphen.
A Hedgehog y-clept Spiny Norman
Turned down a good job as a Doorman
So the Brothers Piranha
(Doug disguised as a Banana)
Said, "You'd get paid as much as a foreman.
Could everyone, please, indicate when their Limerick is finished, so we could then all move on to the next one? See my suggestion of 26 April 2022, here.
At the end of each Limerick, please post a clear visual sign, so that people know it ist the last line. Suggestion: see this here:
or a similar thing. You get this wobbly line by using 5 times the minus (or hyphen) sign on your keyboard, i.e. - - - - - without spaces.
Could we please ask everyone to take this to heart? No more confusion, please, if possible. It would help.
A red-nosed old toper from Ealing
Could majestically pee on the ceiling
The plaster objected
And urine rejected
So his face got that splashy hot feeling.
There was an Old Man on a Horse
Who galloped ahead with some force
But then came a mare
Whose rider was bare
Eating fish and chips smothered with sauce
Watching Glasto on BBC Sounds
I saw hipsters all making the rounds
They stared at Sir Paul
Whom they knew not at all
But he still earned a whole lotta pounds.
Comments
It this heat, you may not wear a sweater
In fact, when perspiring there's better
In fact, when perspiring there's better
Ways to keep cool
Like a plunge in the pool
In fact, when perspiring there's better
Ways to keep cool
Like a plunge in the pool
Or composing a cold-hearted letter.
Indeed!
A Limerick once cleverely ended
Without the rhyme too much bended.
Bended, you ask
And then take me to task
For quite rightly you're rather offended!
Down to earth again...
There was an Old Man with a Wife
Who’d accomp’nied his songs on the wife
But when his voice broke
There was an Old Man with a Wife
Who’d accomp’nied his songs on the fife
But when his voice broke
Who’d accomp’nied his songs on the fife
But when his voice broke
And he started to choke
Who’d accomp’nied his songs on the fife
But when his voice broke
And he started to choke
She hoped it would finish his life.
From being chastised with a lash
From being chastised with a lash
But what was my crime?
From being chastised with a lash
But what was my crime?
I'd had a good time
From being chastised with a lash
But what was my crime?
I'd had a good time
Trading pats on the bottom for cash.
And I'll throw in a 'squared' just for free"
[You can continue it as a quote, or switch back to the third-person.]
And I'll throw in a 'squared' just for free”
You know this is true
When you look at the view
In the midst of a near-light-speed spree.
Said Darwin, while stuck on the Beagle:
"Is that albatross, kite, or sea eagle?"
"Is that albatross, kite, or sea eagle?"
A policeman appeared
With a really long beard
Said, "Dunno, but your ship is illegal.
Is rather unlike any syphon.
But the fish-slapping dance
Is another nice stance
By Python, and writ' with a hyphen.
(*old fashioned word for named)
A Hedgehog y-clept Spiny Norman
Turned down a good job as a Doorman
Turned down a good job as a Doorman
So the Brothers Piranha
Turned down a good job as a Doorman
So the Brothers Piranha
(Doug disguised as a Banana)
Turned down a good job as a Doorman
So the Brothers Piranha
(Doug disguised as a Banana)
Said, "You'd get paid as much as a foreman.
Is "loco" short for "locomotive"?
Was listening to a track by Toto
The African rain
Quite excited his brain
Hence the beatific smile in his photo.
From Cork who got limericks
And Haikus confused
Particularly the second line, which is also clever.
Could everyone, please, indicate when their Limerick is finished, so we could then all move on to the next one? See my suggestion of 26 April 2022, here.
Extract:
Could we please ask everyone to take this to heart? No more confusion, please, if possible. It would help.
Thank you muchly.
Wesley J, Circus Host
[/Gentle Hostly Reminder]
... So we have:
A little green spaceman from Mars
Was quite fond of deep-fried Mars bars
Took to hanging around dodgy bars.
A toper from Ealing
Exclaimed with much feeling
"I must've had too many jars".
________________
A red-nosed old toper from Ealing
Could majestically pee on the ceiling
Could majestically pee on the ceiling
The plaster objected
And urine rejected
Could majestically pee on the ceiling
The plaster objected
And urine rejected
So his face got that splashy hot feeling.
There was an Old Man on a Horse
Who galloped ahead with some force
Who galloped ahead with some force
But then came a mare
Who galloped ahead with some force
But then came a mare
Whose rider was bare
Eating fish and chips smothered with sauce
I saw hipsters all making the rounds
I saw hipsters all making the rounds
They stared at Sir Paul
Whom they knew not at all
But he still earned a whole lotta pounds.