Limerick

Enoch

There was a young lady called Maud
Who was truly a child of the Lord
So she would abstain
From grape, barley and grain,
While spirits she really abhorred.

_______________________

Poor Maud, one day , had a shock,

Nenya

Poor Maud, one day , had a shock,
When a voice spoke to her from a rock

Gee D

Poor Maud, one day , had a shock,
When a voice spoke to her from a rock
"Drink spirits" said He

kingsfold

Poor Maud, one day , had a shock,
When a voice spoke to her from a rock
"Drink spirits" said He
"Who? Me?" replied she

Enoch

Poor Maud, one day, had a shock,
When a voice spoke to her from a rock
"Drink spirits" said He
"Who? Me?" replied she,
"Are you licensed? What have you stock?"

_____________________________

Said the rock, "I can see, Maud, you're bright"

Bishops Finger

Said the rock, "I can see, Maud, you're bright,
What plans do you have for tonight?"

Nenya

Said the rock, "I can see, Maud, you're bright,
What plans do you have for tonight?"
Said she, "Oo, you're cheeky!
I find it quite freaky!"

stetson

Said the rock, "I can see, Maud, you're bright,
What plans do you have for tonight?"
Said she, "Oo, you're cheeky!
I find it quite freaky!
I'm cravin' magmatic delight!"

stetson

---

stetson

On a hill in Nepal stood a yeti

Raptor Eye

On a hill in Nepal stood a yeti
Whose hair looked just like spaghetti

stetson

On a hill in Nepal stood a yeti
Whose hair looked just like spaghetti
The sherpas all said

jrw

On a hill in Nepal stood a yeti
Whose hair looked just like spaghetti
The sherpas all said
"He looks just like Fred
When we all got drunk on Bournemouth jetty".

---

Nenya

There once was a sherpa named Fred

stetson

There once was a sherpa named Fred
Who kept all his climbers well-fed

Nenya

There once was a sherpa named Fred
Who kept all his climbers well-fed
He served up roast yeti
With wine and spaghetti

BroJames

There once was a sherpa named Fred
Who kept all his climbers well-fed
He served up roast yeti
With wine and spaghettI
Then tucked them up warmly in bed

— — —

kingsfold

And so I lie tucked up in bed

BroJames

And so I lie tucked up in bed
Well fed by a Sherpa named Fred
But what I find worrying

Bishops Finger

And so I lie tucked up in bed
Well fed by a Sherpa named Fred
But what I find worrying
Is the sound of rats scurrying

stetson

And so I lie tucked up in bed
Well fed by a Sherpa named Fred
But what I find worrying
Is the sound of rats scurrying
Around this old Kathmandu shed.

---

stetson

And across the Pacific is Sasquatch

stetson

And across the Pacific is Sasquatch
But what are his talents, you ask? Watch!

la vie en rouge

And across the Pacific is Sasquatch
But what are his talents, you ask? Watch!
He juggles potatoes

BroJames

And across the Pacific is Sasquatch
But what are his talents, you ask? Watch!
He juggles potatoes
And US tomatoes
While tight’ning his belt by a notch
— — —

stetson

I like it. Subtly topical.

la vie en rouge

Now surely the PM's for the chop
The nonsense one day has to stop

Bishops Finger

Now surely the PM's for the chop
The nonsense one day has to stop
It could be today!
Hip-Hip-Hip Hooray!

Bishops Finger

Now surely the PM's for the chop
The nonsense one day has to stop
It could be today!
Hip-Hip-Hip Hooray!
Goodbye to the Head like a Mop?

---

Bishops Finger

There was a Young Person called Nad

kingsfold

There was a Young Person called Nad
Whose support for the PM seems mad

Bishops Finger

There is a Young Person called Nad
Whose support for the PM seems mad
She's dressed all in blue
And knows just what to do
But (of course) it's bound to be bad

(in view of the topical nature of this little offering, I've taken the liberty of altering my first line to the present tense)

---

Piglet

There was a Young Person called Nad
Whose support for the PM seems mad
She shows her affection for
him; should we section her,
Cos she's not bad but just sad?

---

Bishops Finger

Telford

There was an old chap called Methuselah

stetson

There was an old chap called Methuselah
Who read lots of Marx and Marcuse, Ella.
(pause) ELLA: "But why
Did this elderly guy...

Telford

There was an old chap called Methuselah
Who read lots of Marx and Marcuse, Ella.
(pause) ELLA: "But why
Did this elderly guy...
Think he was an ordinary Fella.

Raptor Eye

A strong man, hailing from Bow

Telford

A strong man, hailing from Bow
Fell over and stubbed his big toe

stetson

A strong man, hailing from Bow
Fell over and stubbed his big toe
But our dear NHS

Spike

A strong man, hailing from Bow
Fell over and stubbed his big toe
But our dear NHS
In a financial mess

Sojourner

So she’d anstannfrom the whiskey the whiskey to avoid being frisky and so being labelled a bawd

Bishops Finger

Eh?

la vie en rouge

A reminder: please do remember to read to the end of the thread to avoid getting in a muddle with previous Limericks.

Thanks

la vie en rouge, Circus host

kingsfold

(returning to the current limerick in progress...)

A strong man, hailing from Bow
Fell over and stubbed his big toe
But our dear NHS
In a financial mess
Could tell him just where he should go

---

Number 10 is not yet vacated

Raptor Eye

Number 10 is not yet vacated
The people not yet placated

Doublethink

Number 10 is not yet vacated
The people not yet placated
The languishing Boris
Unforsaken by Dorries

stetson

Number 10 is not yet vacated
The people not yet placated
But the news is just in

stetson

Number 10 is not yet vacated
The people not yet placated
But the news is just in
that the Mop's in the bin

Bishops Finger

!!!