And, in more current headlines, Wales Online has been pulling out all the stops!
Tree crashes onto second home months after neighbour almost killed by tree fall
Raising the obvious questions: how does a tree fall twice? And who were the idiots who set it back up after it fell the first time?
Also, a lovely typo:
Dancing on Ice finalist announces spilt from husband after ‘life gets in the way’
Personally, I find it very hard to stand on skates, so being spilt on to the ice is fairly common for me, but I suppose it is newsworthy if it happens to more skilled skaters.
From an on-line newspaper in Ontario: "Police pursue Cambridge man with stolen catalytic converter". If this had been in the USA they'd have been using guns, but really, they shouldn't have stolen it.
From an on-line newspaper in Ontario: "Police pursue Cambridge man with stolen catalytic converter". If this had been in the USA they'd have been using guns, but really, they shouldn't have stolen it.
They were taking it back to the precinct to put it in evidence.
And, in more current headlines, Wales Online has been pulling out all the stops!
Tree crashes onto second home months after neighbour almost killed by tree fall
Raising the obvious questions: how does a tree fall twice? And who were the idiots who set it back up after it fell the first time?
You'd be surprised. When I was about ten, a two-story-tall eucalyptus fell and hit the house just below my upper-story bedroom window. My folks had it re-placed upright and staked (why why why) and it promptly went down again. (Had only about three feet of root depth, California rainstorm) This time they got rid of it.
Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
It's actually worth reading in all its weird glory! A true freak accident. Do NOT store bottle rockets near a fire. Although the ramen couldn't be saved, the man in question wasn't seriously injured.
Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
This is a subheading from what is actually a sad story in "Wales Online", but it amused me: "A large police presence was reported in the village". Presumably smaller police were elsewhere.
Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
(Bold type fixed, Wesley J, Circus Host)
Surely the "accidentally" is unnecessary?
You might think so, but it’s a strange old world.
I suppose you're right. From Taiwan? It seems to be the source of many crazes and this may become the latest.
Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
(Bold type fixed, Wesley J, Circus Host)
Surely the "accidentally" is unnecessary?
You might think so, but it’s a strange old world.
I suppose you're right. From Taiwan? It seems to be the source of many crazes and this may become the latest.
Man Cooking Up Ramen In A Speedo Accidentally Shoots Himself In The Nuts With 20 Bottle Rockets
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
(Bold type fixed, Wesley J, Circus Host)
Surely the "accidentally" is unnecessary?
You might think so, but it’s a strange old world.
I suppose you're right. From Taiwan? It seems to be the source of many crazes and this may become the latest.
Autotesticularrocketus?
Full marks for that, and you can go to the top of the class.
‘profit beat’ made me think ‘profit’ was functioning adjectivally in relation to ‘beat’ used as a noun.
Actually, by my reading, that is exactly what is happening. Mastercard had a profit expectation for the first quarter, but they earned more than expected. This has been dubbed a "profit beat" where beat (noun, not a verb) is modified by profit. What would otherwise be good news for the company, though, has been downgraded by an event that "clouds" (verb, not plural noun). The event that caused that was the company disclosing that it is the subject of a federal investigation--a probe (noun, not verb). The disclosure of the probe has clouded the joy of the "profit beat."
Did I mention the ridiculous amount of time I spent decoding it?
Just come across this when browsing a local estate agent's website: "Newly constructed log cabin can be found to the rear of the garden offering power and light socks".
What do you have to plant in the garden for it to offer power and light socks? I suppose you could plant cotton to use to make the socks. They would be lighter than wool socks. But for power? Do you plant bulbs and hope?
From Wales Online: "Rare chance to own dream home with pool on one of Wales' most expensive streets". Won't the pool get in the way of the traffic? Or at least dampen it?
From Wales Online: "Rare chance to own dream home with pool on one of Wales' most expensive streets". Won't the pool get in the way of the traffic? Or at least dampen it?
The Dundee Courier has an article on by-gone playground equipment, which wouldn't meet modern health and safety standards. It's headed "Did you survive Dundee's Death swing at Finlathen Park Adventure Playground?"
Presumably anyone reading this article did survive. Or do they think some victims of the "death swing" are reading the Courier in the hereafter?
A theological point to ponder - would the availability of the Dundee Courier in the afterlife imply that one was in Heaven, or in Hell?
Some people might presumably ask the same question while still in "this" life. I suppose the answer would depends on which part of the city one comes from.
I have a feeling my big brother worked briefly for the Dundee Courier in his younger days. AFAIK I've only been there once, when I was a student in Aberdeen about forty-mumble years ago.
However, David got a parking ticket from a company called Town & Country Parking for a parking violation in Dundee 11 years ago. We had a hire car and hadn't been anywhere near Dundee; in fact at the time of the alleged offence, the car was (quite legally) parked outside St Magnus Cathedral, where David was playing the organ for my mum's funeral, a fact which he pointed out could have been corroborated by at least 50 or 60 of the great and the good of Kirkwall. Town & Country seemed reluctant to believe him, and insisted on a copy of the Pentland Ferries manifest which proved that we had, in fact, been in Orkney on the days surrounding the "offence" and couldn't have got to Dundee in between. They grudgingly refunded the money they'd taken from our credit card, as if they were doing us a huge favour!
Comments
Headless Body in Topless Bar
Raising the obvious questions: how does a tree fall twice? And who were the idiots who set it back up after it fell the first time?
Also, a lovely typo:
Personally, I find it very hard to stand on skates, so being spilt on to the ice is fairly common for me, but I suppose it is newsworthy if it happens to more skilled skaters.
They were taking it back to the precinct to put it in evidence.
You'd be surprised. When I was about ten, a two-story-tall eucalyptus fell and hit the house just below my upper-story bedroom window. My folks had it re-placed upright and staked (why why why) and it promptly went down again. (Had only about three feet of root depth, California rainstorm) This time they got rid of it.
Couldn't find this story in the mainstream news but it's on a ton of news-of-the-weird sites, and mentioned on Reddit and Twitter (which proves something).
(Bold type fixed, Wesley J, Circus Host)
I hesitate to ask…
It's actually worth reading in all its weird glory! A true freak accident. Do NOT store bottle rockets near a fire. Although the ramen couldn't be saved, the man in question wasn't seriously injured.
Spain buries fascist leader Primo de Rivera for 5th time
This time they are SURE he is dead.
Surely the "accidentally" is unnecessary?
I suppose you're right. From Taiwan? It seems to be the source of many crazes and this may become the latest.
Autotesticularrocketus?
Full marks for that, and you can go to the top of the class.
Giving someone a break after their demise always seems poor timing.
Headline courtesy of Reuters. Posted simply because of the ridiculous amount of time it took me to decode what it was the headline was saying.
‘profit beat’ made me think ‘profit’ was functioning adjectivally in relation to ‘beat’ used as a noun.
Actually, by my reading, that is exactly what is happening. Mastercard had a profit expectation for the first quarter, but they earned more than expected. This has been dubbed a "profit beat" where beat (noun, not a verb) is modified by profit. What would otherwise be good news for the company, though, has been downgraded by an event that "clouds" (verb, not plural noun). The event that caused that was the company disclosing that it is the subject of a federal investigation--a probe (noun, not verb). The disclosure of the probe has clouded the joy of the "profit beat."
Did I mention the ridiculous amount of time I spent decoding it?
I hope the roof is strong enough.
They'll need to clear away the sunbeds to allow it to land.
It should be noted that the airport it takes you to is probably in Croatia ...
Just a big pothole perhaps?
Boy, six, scalped in attack by Staffie just bought off Facebook for £200
Presumably, the boy would have brought more on Facebook if he had not been damaged goods.
I'm sure he must have looked lovely!
Presumably anyone reading this article did survive. Or do they think some victims of the "death swing" are reading the Courier in the hereafter?
A theological point to ponder - would the availability of the Dundee Courier in the afterlife imply that one was in Heaven, or in Hell?
(NB I've never been to Dundee).
You do not know what you are missing!!!
However, David got a parking ticket from a company called Town & Country Parking for a parking violation in Dundee 11 years ago. We had a hire car and hadn't been anywhere near Dundee; in fact at the time of the alleged offence, the car was (quite legally) parked outside St Magnus Cathedral, where David was playing the organ for my mum's funeral, a fact which he pointed out could have been corroborated by at least 50 or 60 of the great and the good of Kirkwall. Town & Country seemed reluctant to believe him, and insisted on a copy of the Pentland Ferries manifest which proved that we had, in fact, been in Orkney on the days surrounding the "offence" and couldn't have got to Dundee in between. They grudgingly refunded the money they'd taken from our credit card, as if they were doing us a huge favour!
....You can see where this is going, can't you?
Dick extension.
...and here it is for proof: https://twitter.com/RaithRovers/status/1658517679987097606