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Today I Consign To Hell -the All Saints version

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  • Some people will park anywhere it suits them. There have been a couple of reports from seaside resorts recently of cars being parked on RNLI slipways.
    A bit naughty to hope the drivers have drifted out to sea on an airbed, I suppose.
  • ZacchaeusZacchaeus Shipmate
    Some people will park anywhere it suits them. There have been a couple of reports from seaside resorts recently of cars being parked on RNLI slipways.
    A bit naughty to hope the drivers have drifted out to sea on an airbed, I suppose.

    I saw the same thing last year, people blocking the lifeboat slipway with their cars and boat trailors. I must admit I had similar thoughts to you.
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    cancel
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Lyda wrote: »
    cancel

    Is that another example of cancel culture?
  • TICTH the locum dentist who told my friend that because she's on some psychotropic medications, the pain is in her head. Truly, he completely dismissed her ongoing pain. At least she was able to get in to see her regular doc and get the tooth pulled this afternoon.
  • @questioning That is just awful. I am glad she was able to get help for her pain.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    People who, when asked to deal with a problem, discuss it among themselves without consultation with the petitioner and then issue a blanket denial of the problem with the assertion that the matter is closed.
  • HelixHelix Shipmate
    I was the recipient of a micro-aggression from my boss - a cute little put down in a meeting when he referenced me as charmingly seething. There's a whole story as to why I might be thus but I feel was unfair and not true and moreso - inappropriate. I'm now not feeling charming but I am seething and his words have really caused a major ouch. And hence I am not seething but furious.

    I'm also pissed with myself for not calling him out on it at the time but letting it get to me. And I am feeling mighty passive aggressive on the back of it.

    All in all a bad mix but by God - I hate these micro-aggressions.
  • Helix wrote: »
    I was the recipient of a micro-aggression from my boss - a cute little put down in a meeting when he referenced me as charmingly seething. There's a whole story as to why I might be thus but I feel was unfair and not true and moreso - inappropriate. I'm now not feeling charming but I am seething and his words have really caused a major ouch. And hence I am not seething but furious.

    I'm also pissed with myself for not calling him out on it at the time but letting it get to me. And I am feeling mighty passive aggressive on the back of it.

    All in all a bad mix but by God - I hate these micro-aggressions.

    Understandably seething - but always remember that Revenge is a dish best served cold. Get your own back when the barsteward least expects it...
    :naughty:
  • Indeed so.

    Mind you, "Charmingly Seething" would make a marvellous setting for one of those Miss Marple-style country village murder mysteries.
  • A Midsomer Murder, surely?
  • But it doesn't begin with "Midsomer" (of which villages there seems to be an infinite number).
  • Micro-aggressions are so bad as you cannot do much about them.

    I remember being furious when my successor for a job¹ demanded I got a lot of extra work done before handing over to her, when I was already working flat out. This particular additional task was something she should have done, not me, as I didn't have the bits of paper that said I could, but she did². My said out loud comment was that there would be nothing passive about my aggression if I was asked to do anything else.

    A week after I'd gone she threw a tantrum because I hadn't done something else³, another thing on my to do list that she had requested, just now pushed further down and incomplete when I left. Because this was something which would be better done by me, I'd ended up saying I'd do the work on this task the week after I left, in my own time, to finish it off. Then she had me taken off the computer system immediately, so no could do. That was very satisfying to give back to her, I'm also sure she delegated the problem so it didn't get done properly (as the person it was delegated to wouldn't have had the experience to know what they were looking for.)

    ¹ SENCO role in a secondary school, odd situation where two schools were merging as the other was closed down. She was the SENCO from the other school;
    ² testing for exam concessions;
    ³ writing an application for a statement (of special educational needs) for a student she was agitating should be statemented because he was being difficult for a friend of hers, another teacher moving over from the closing school, and not so high up my list as he had was known as a behaviour issue, but not flagged as urgent to apply for a statement by the teachers at the school being merged into.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    Yikes. As if being SENCO wasn't bad enough without holders of the post being SN themselves. I do sometimes wonder what it is like being inside some of these people's heads. It can't be a pleasant place.
  • john holdingjohn holding Host Emeritus
    Some people will park anywhere it suits them. There have been a couple of reports from seaside resorts recently of cars being parked on RNLI slipways.
    A bit naughty to hope the drivers have drifted out to sea on an airbed, I suppose.

    Please don't joke about this.

    My daughter is seeking ordination and started her summer placement at a small place on the shores of Lake Erie on 1 June. Two days later she was called (as the only "cleric" in place) to minister to a visiting Muslim family whose 8 year old son had drifted off on a raft and been drowned trying to swim to shore.
  • HelixHelix Shipmate
    Thank you folk!

    @Bishops Finger super tempting and I have been planning a whole range of things to do in revenge but as @Curiosity killed rightly says - there is nothing you can really do with Micro Aggressions. Anything will look petty. And I don't want to be the one who does get good at revenge - I was never great at it. My boss is typically a really kind and thoughtful person so for him to have delivered a micro-aggression - it's way out of character so super weird. I just want for him to behave respectfully and not give me feedback in such a shitty little way.

    I think for us to have a conversation will leave him suitably mortified. If he knows I am upset - he will be upset himself.

    But I wish I could capture these things "in the moment" as they say.
  • TICTH online "help" chats, specifically that operated by Ta*kTa*k. It took just shy of 2 hours to fix a basic problem, leaving me chained to my desk waiting for the next bizarre response/request. Having got it fixed, I reckon that a live body on the end of a 'phone could have got it sorted in 10 minutes, 15 maximum.

    I am not a happy bunny 😡
  • Helix wrote: »
    Thank you folk!

    @Bishops Finger super tempting and I have been planning a whole range of things to do in revenge but as @Curiosity killed rightly says - there is nothing you can really do with Micro Aggressions. Anything will look petty. And I don't want to be the one who does get good at revenge - I was never great at it. My boss is typically a really kind and thoughtful person so for him to have delivered a micro-aggression - it's way out of character so super weird. I just want for him to behave respectfully and not give me feedback in such a shitty little way.

    I think for us to have a conversation will leave him suitably mortified. If he knows I am upset - he will be upset himself.

    But I wish I could capture these things "in the moment" as they say.

    I think you're being wise - my advice regarding Revenge was not really suitable for a Christian Website™.

    A Quiet Word with the miscreant should, hopefully, clear the air!
  • HelixHelix Shipmate
    Thank you @Bishops Finger - as I say - it's just that I am rubbish at revenge and it typically backfires - nothing honourable about my route! It's about avoiding the least damange for myself!
  • Me.

    I Am An Idiot.

    Got up this morning, wondering why I'd had no message from Mr. Sainsbury's about what items of my online order he hadn't got. No text message telling me when it would be delivered, either.

    That's because I had lovingly done the order which is due to be delivered next Wednesday.

    In my defence, yer 'onner, I barely know what month it is, let alone which Wednesday...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Well, something to look forward to then! :)
  • Luckily I did manage to schedule a delivery for today, between 7.30 and 8.30 rather than 9 and 10 - and he's just been, calloo callay!
  • CathscatsCathscats Shipmate
    TICTH Scotrail. My son the Giraffe was scheduled to take a certain train yesterday to get to Glasgow at a certain time for a certain connection. Train was cancelled at a moment’s notice with no replacement bus, so that on day 2 of a 4 day removal, I had to drop everything to drive over 100 miles to Glasgow and then, of course, back.
  • TICTH *Father's Day* - another bloody Feast of St Hallmark, which is to be *celebrated* at Our Place on Sunday. CHOCOLATE is to be given out to all fathers, grandfathers, and godfathers in the congregation (which at the moment struggles to reach double figures...).

    I have asked for prayer to be offered on behalf of those who, like myself, have never had the privilege of being fathers - Mrs BF miscarried twice, so (as we were both in our late 40s at the time) we gave it up as a bad job.

    It still hurts, though, and to to see Father's Day treated as a festival of the church hurts, too. Maybe I'm being too sensitive...
  • Bishops Finger, I am so sorry for your loss and pain. If it helps I have never been a father being female but I do enjoy remembering times with my father, uncles, and adult male friends of the family, who made my childhood special I think of them as my extra father figures and I am most grateful to have had them in my life. We are not much into hallmark celebrations in our family with gifts and dinners and such, but we do enjoy telling stores and remembering people and having a day to remind us to do just that.
  • Yes, it hurts, I remember from the years we were going through it. We are trying not to be such assholes in our own congregation.
  • @Bishops Finger Commiserations. I hope the slush at your church isn't too ghastly.

    As you say, an invented greetings-card feast, used by supermarkets, etc to merch a tsunami of badged tat.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Giving out chocolate? In the summer heat of late June? Surely that will all melt, and be tremendously messy! Serves them right!

    Very sorry about your loss, dear BF! :( <votive>
  • I have asked for prayer to be offered on behalf of those who, like myself, have never had the privilege of being fathers - Mrs BF miscarried twice, so (as we were both in our late 40s at the time) we gave it up as a bad job.

    It still hurts, though, and to to see Father's Day treated as a festival of the church hurts, too. Maybe I'm being too sensitive...
    The hidden loss experienced by men when their partners miscarry is something that is much neglected in society.
    Hugs to you Bishops Finger 🕯
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Hugs from me as well, @Bishops Finger!
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    Getting left out when everyone else in the church is included in whatever is being celebrated does not feel good. Especially when they have tried to be inclusive, so that one feels like the only one left out.
  • PuzzlerPuzzler Shipmate
    Tomorrow there is a pet service. I don’t have a pet so I shall not attend, but it is in the afternoon, so not the main service.
    In times past I have taken the same approach for certain over- personalised services eg the year after my mother died and my adult children were miles away I gave Mothering Sunday service a miss.
  • Penny SPenny S Shipmate
    edited June 2021
    That one in particular. It does depend on the church, I think. I felt ambushed here by something that hadn't bothered me before. I seem to remember that in France a particular saint's day is set aside for single women. Hope there's one for men as well.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2021
    Thanks, everyone, for your kind words and hugs!

    It all happened the best part of 25 years ago, but the hurt still surfaces from time to time. I have no doubt that the same applies to women who have miscarried...

    I don't attend services at Our Place now, so will not be subjected to the inevitable slush. FatherInCharge means well, but can sometimes seem to be a tad insensitive.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Pope JP2, on the other hand, was a tad Pole.
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    Pope JP2, on the other hand, was a tad Pole.

    That was sufficient grounds for keelhauling.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    It was indeed a mega-groan, even by Wesley's standards! :naughty:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Wesley J wrote: »
    Pope JP2, on the other hand, was a tad Pole.

    That was sufficient grounds for keelhauling.

    One of the many adversities he had to endure for speaking out in the Communist Eastern Bloc of the time.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Piglet wrote: »
    It was indeed a mega-groan, even by Wesley's standards! :naughty:

    Sorry.
  • PriscillaPriscilla Shipmate
    I think there are ways of doing mother’s/Father’s Day so as to be inclusive - thanking God for our parents and those who have parented us, and for the way God parents us.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2021
    Priscilla wrote: »
    I think there are ways of doing mother’s/Father’s Day so as to be inclusive - thanking God for our parents and those who have parented us, and for the way God parents us.

    I daresay there are, but what about those who have not been so blessed as to have good parents?

    Better to let Lent 4 be the Fourth Sunday in Lent, and to forget altogether about St Hallmark's Day.

    No harm at all in mentioning mothers/fathers in the prayers on those days, of course.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ISTM that those of us lucky enough to have had Good Parents (I was very lucky in that respect) can give thanks for them, and offer up a prayer for those who didn't.

    And for those who want/wanted to be parents, but couldn't/aren't.
  • My wife always finds Mothering Sunday difficult as she did not have an easy time with her own mother. This has always made me sensitive to these two "parent" Sundays. I know that one has nothing to do with the Church calendar and the other has been taken over by commercial interests but I think we do need to mark them in some way as our congregations almost certainly will be doing so, either with joy or grief. I think there are ways do this which aren't sentimental, mawkish or painful and I hope I've managed to do so over the years. There is definitely something to be said for saying that we need to take God as our model for parents rather than modelling our understanding of God on what we may have experienced as children.

    As an aside, my general experience of both Mothering Sunday and Fathers' Day has been that it is pointless to organise special "family" services. Children from separated families aren't present because they're spending the day with dad; grown-up children and grandparents aren't present because they're getting together for a family celebration!
  • North East QuineNorth East Quine Purgatory Host
    I received a sympathy card on the death of my father on Saturday - it was postmarked "Don't Forget Father's Day!"

    My mother's bill for Dad's funeral arrived with the same postmark.

    This didn't upset me, possibly because we had months to prepare for Dad's death; had Dad's death been unexpected I think I would have struggled with the postmark.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Very minor in The Grand Scheme Of Things, but TICTH the silly bugger who was loudly and tunelessly singing Mull of Kintyre on the bus as I was coming home.

    However, I'm feeling charitable, so I'll assume it was playing on his earphones* and he couldn't actually hear himself.

    * that's of course assuming he had earphones - he was behind me, and I wasn't minded to turn round and stare!
  • Hospital billing departments First sent a bill that insurance always paid, the bill has a phone number on it that is for questions for the billing dept. I call the number I am told to enter the account number after the 0. There is no 0 on the account number. I put in the number that is on the bill and the voice says invalid and ends call. I try again, call end, 3rd time I get a human who puts me on hold. After on hold with music for 5 minutes, I was told sorry they seem to have our number on their bills but we do not handle those bills let me give you the correct number. What?, Why? Dialed the new number, got a very strange auto message, hung up, and tried again. Success, I am thinking, I spoke to a real live person gave them the name of the insurance company and our policy number. They said Mr. Image did not have an active account with that insurance company. We do. I tried to give them the phone number of the insurance company, they said they do not call insurance companies. So I then called the insurance company's customer service number. Blessing on them they had indeed already paid the bill, they contacted the billing dept of the hospital ( it took them 2 tries as well ) They gave them the date of payment and check number, while I waited on hold. Hospital has no record even though the check was sent over a month ago, but they will look into it. Hospital then called me back telling me to go ahead and pay the bill and they will refund me when they find the check. NO! I do not plan to do that.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Piglet wrote: »
    Very minor in The Grand Scheme Of Things, but TICTH the silly bugger who was loudly and tunelessly singing Mull of Kintyre on the bus as I was coming home.

    However, I'm feeling charitable, so I'll assume it was playing on his earphones* and he couldn't actually hear himself.

    * that's of course assuming he had earphones - he was behind me, and I wasn't minded to turn round and stare!

    Might it have been Sir Paul himself?

    When that song played on the radio in the late 1970ies, and rather endlessly, it was torture enough... - my commiserations!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Hospital billing departments First sent a bill that insurance always paid, the bill has a phone number on it that is for questions for the billing dept. I call the number I am told to enter the account number after the 0. There is no 0 on the account number. I put in the number that is on the bill and the voice says invalid and ends call. I try again, call end, 3rd time I get a human who puts me on hold. After on hold with music for 5 minutes, I was told sorry they seem to have our number on their bills but we do not handle those bills let me give you the correct number. What?, Why? Dialed the new number, got a very strange auto message, hung up, and tried again. Success, I am thinking, I spoke to a real live person gave them the name of the insurance company and our policy number. They said Mr. Image did not have an active account with that insurance company. We do. I tried to give them the phone number of the insurance company, they said they do not call insurance companies. So I then called the insurance company's customer service number. Blessing on them they had indeed already paid the bill, they contacted the billing dept of the hospital ( it took them 2 tries as well ) They gave them the date of payment and check number, while I waited on hold. Hospital has no record even though the check was sent over a month ago, but they will look into it. Hospital then called me back telling me to go ahead and pay the bill and they will refund me when they find the check. NO! I do not plan to do that.

    This is really a pain not just in the neck, but way further down! I'm sorry to hear it! :(
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wesley J wrote: »
    ... Might it have been Sir Paul himself?
    No - he'd have been in tune. :mrgreen:
    When that song played on the radio in the late 1970ies, and rather endlessly, it was torture enough... - my commiserations!
    I have a confession to make: I bought a copy - it was one of the first singles I bought for myself. I actually quite liked it. :blush:
  • TICTH myself, for having left the Ark's domestic water pump ON (instead of OFF) when I made my weekly Expotition to Tess Coe's this morning.

    Result - one overfull tank in the galley, and lots of water spilling over the top into the bilges (below the floor). The Drips were horrible to hear.

    This has happened before (mea culpa etc. etc.), so I know what to do to release some of the water from the overfull tank. The excess H2O is being utilised to wash some shirts...

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