Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Coke bottles fall from the sky??? Who knew?! :confused:
  • This week's The Scottish Farmer, reporting on some legume based farming issue, has the headline Oh I do like to pea beside the seaside...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Love it! :mrgreen:
  • From "Wales Online": "All Blacks let the train take the strain".

    What? - all the way from NZ? No, only from Lyons to Paris!
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    This is even more not news when you consider that short domestic flights have been banned by the French government.

    They could have walked, I suppose.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited September 2023
    This is even more not news when you consider that short domestic flights have been banned by the French government.

    They could have walked, I suppose.
    Or, more likely, travelled by Coach.

  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited September 2023
    I had to post this because the story made me laugh:
    ‘Ritual mass murder report in Chapel St Leonards was yoga class’
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339
  • "Meditation, She Wrote."
  • From "Wales Online": "Fiji to stand still for Wales match after Welsh players suffer '15 weeks of hell'". Utterly bizarre! And it doesn't (sadly) mean that the Fijian rugby players will remain stationary to give Wales a chance of winning the match!
  • BBC: "Stonehaven crash: Network Rail fined £6.7m over fatal derailment".

    Not weird - but I can never see the point of fining public bodies (including hospitals, schools, Councils) as surely this stretches their resources even more. Does this merit a new thread?
  • BBC: "Stonehaven crash: Network Rail fined £6.7m over fatal derailment".

    Not weird - but I can never see the point of fining public bodies (including hospitals, schools, Councils) as surely this stretches their resources even more. Does this merit a new thread?
    I agree. What's the point, or administrative honesty, in taking money from one part of the public sector, which is funded from taxes, and paying it to another, which funds the first one anyway.

    Also, the people who suffer from a part of the public sector - invariably already underfunded - then having to pay a whacking great fine, have no control whatsoever over the issue that has prompted the fine.

    I'm surprised so few people, apart from you and me, ever seem to have spotted this one. One would have thought it ought to have been obvious.

    The same goes for different parts of the government having to pay taxes to each other.

  • My thoughts exactly!
  • And perhaps it's money which could have gone towards preventing such a tragedy in the future. (I did not sy compensation, I assume ample and adequate insurance for compensation).
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited September 2023
    BBC Wales: "Two octopuses spotted walking on a Ceredigion beach".

    Aaah, there's lovely ... do you think they were holding tentacles?
  • That sounds like something Edward Lear might have written.
  • It does, doesn't it!
  • BBC Wales: "Two octopuses spotted walking on a Ceredigion beach".

    Aaah, there's lovely ... do you think they were holding tentacles?

    I read that one a little too quickly...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From the non-massmurder report page of the Beeb, another weird one:
    Braverman seeks urgent advice on banning bully XLs
    ... which is actually about dogs!

    And of course I would read 'libido' in another headline from there...: :blush:
    Oldest lido in UK reopens to public after 40 years
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    (As an afterthought: a refurbished libido doesn't sound too bad either. :D )
  • BBC coming up with the goods today:

    "Woman in court charged with missing parents' murder"

    I had no idea there was a requirement to attend the murder of one's parents, on pain of criminal sanction!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Ouch!
  • questioningquestioning Shipmate
    edited September 2023
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Not a headline, but a weird sentence from a story about a sad piece of environmental vandalism
    Northumberland National Park Authority officials believe the tree, known as Robin Hood's Tree, was "deliberately felled".
    “Oh no, officer, I was practising my chainsaw juggling, and a saw fell the wrong way and accidentally cut through this 1.3m diameter tree trunk.”
  • BroJames wrote: »
    Not a headline, but a weird sentence from a story about a sad piece of environmental vandalism
    Northumberland National Park Authority officials believe the tree, known as Robin Hood's Tree, was "deliberately felled".
    “Oh no, officer, I was practising my chainsaw juggling, and a saw fell the wrong way and accidentally cut through this 1.3m diameter tree trunk.”
    "I was just axing a question!"
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I never saw anything like it!
  • *You cummerlong wi'me, laddie! Look sharp about it!*
  • Not weird, but ambiguous, from "Wales Online": England World Cup sensation lined up to replace Louis Rees-Zammit and Davies won't quit.

    A comma before "and" would have clarified things ...
  • Such useful Commas are available in Oxford, I believe...
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited October 2023
    They seem to be in short supply these days.

    However other extraneous commas all-too-frequently make an appearance. Is this an undercover operation by The Other University City?
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    edited October 2023
    I don't think that a comma there would strictly have been an Oxford comma. Aren't those more to do with how to punctuate lists?

    The error is a more fundamental one. Commas are there to indicate where there are short pauses within sentences. They also help readers to know where best to take a breath. It's a breach of the rule that whatever the grammatical regulations may say, the fundamental purpose of punctuation is to make the words easier to understand. Not putting one in there makes the sentence difficult to follow.

    'And' is used both to join successive nouns/pronouns 'my husband and I' and successive quasi-sentences. In the position that one comes, reading it aloud, without the help of the comma, it isn't clear until after 'Dammers' which way 'and' is being used, what it is that is being conjuncted.

  • BBC website: "Amber rain warning extended for north and east of Scotland".

    I've never seen amber rain ...
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Bearing in mind what other familiar liquid is normally that colour, it sounds even worse than acid rain.
  • No, it's Irn-Bru.
  • BBC website: "Amber rain warning extended for north and east of Scotland".

    I've never seen amber rain ...

    Trump has.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought something along those lines. :flushed:
  • BBC website: "Rugby fan turns 80 travelling to France by train".

    So - how many years did the journey take? Was it due to leaves on the line?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    He was 54 when he started out ... :mrgreen:
  • ArielAriel Shipmate
    "Woman slams selfish paragliders who made her think Hamas were invading Doncaster"

    (Spotted in the Metro)
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Oh my!

    Here's one from BBC News:
    Greta Thunberg charged following Fossil Free London protest

    I wonder how many volts she runs on!
  • And why is a fossil keeping London captive anyway?
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    No. The fossil is protesting in order to free London. I don’t know why Greta Thunberg joined with the fossil. Or maybe she was counter-protesting, believing that London should not be released.
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    And why is a fossil keeping London captive anyway?

    Apparently, we voted them into power.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    The other day, I got an e-mail from The Canterbury Cathedral Shop; I'm on their mailing list. However, this time I found it slightly threatening:
    Meet the Maker - Designed by Esther

    In the actual e-mail it then says: "We've been overwhelmed by the fantastic response to our latest product range which we shared with you all last month, so we thought you might like to meet the maker, Esther Johnson. [...]"

    Phew. I may just live a little longer! :hushed:
  • The Washington Post has been giving a lot of unfriendly coverage to Jim Jordan, a former wrestling coach, no longer a candidate for Speaker of the House of Representatives, and Not a Nice Person. Today they awarded him a headline thus: "When will Jim Jordan wrestle with himself?"
  • The always reliable Wales Online:

    Character renovation project hiding in a posh area of a Welsh city going to auction with huge potential

    Bit obvious, innit? Of course the auction has a huge potential, if it is auctioning off a whole Welsh city complete with a posh area that is engaged in a secret project to renovate characters.
  • Royal Bank of Scotland to Sell Off Citizens
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited November 2023
    Ooh - I've got my bank account with them - do you think they'll give me some of the proceeds?

    [/irony]
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Careful Piglet, you may be one of the citizens being sold off.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :fearful:
  • ArielAriel Shipmate
    "Boris asked if blowing a ‘special hairdryer up noses’ could kill Covid".

    Won't be necessary if you've injected yourself with disinfectant 🙄

    (Source: Metro)
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