Some Limericks about radio stations
That's stations from all of earth's nations
Once were tricky to do.
But never mind. You*
Can still rhyme with great persuasion-s!
There was once an old man of St Ives
Who had a terrible outbreak of hives.
Well that's what he said
As he took to his bed,
But perhaps it's just that he skives.
Just near to his house is a skip
Which he claims is the lair of a bunyip
He says he deplores
The sound of its snores
When he's trying to have a good kip.
A swagman from near Alice Springs
Has a canary which never ever sings
Except when the choir
Sings Mull Of Kintyre
That canary, he sure loves his Wings.
There once was a bishop called Spong
Who was said to have done much wrong.
His sins, though most trivial
Were thought unconvivial
Especially his wearing a thong.
A hermit crab, living in Cromer
Spent his afternoons browsing through Homer
Until Lisa and Bart
(can you tell them apart?)
Turned up and killed Sara Gomer*
*Tennis player from long ago - I'm scraping the barrel now.
While driving an old Austin Maxi
A young man was rammed by a taxi
The cabbie said "sorry"
"Still, it wasn't a lorry"
"I thought you were Rishi Sunak, see".
While remembering how to do that
When wearing a red homburg hat,
I decided, quite quickly
That I was rather tickly.
So I went off and stroked the cat.
How do you get
to scan
Or format, or rhyme; what's the plan?
As Christmas approaches I dread
The demise of this limerick thread.
So I’ll rake out the tinsel…
And wrap parcels up in Sell-
o-tape, paper and ribbons of red.
Advent Sunday 2 is upon us
Boxes down from the loft as we suss
And wonder whether we ought…
Or really should have bought…
Or would that be making too much fuss?
As we light the 3rd candle we see…
That it's still too soon for the tree
And lo, in the corner there's dust
With a stain of something like rust
And the mark of what looks like cat's pee.
Christmas comes but once a year
Comments
You might like to listen to Gold
You might like to listen to Gold
The same could be said
About this old thread
Now abandoned, empty and cold
That's stations from all of earth's nations
Once were tricky to do.
But never mind. You*
Can still rhyme with great persuasion-s!
*(generic 'you')
Who had a terrible outbreak of hives
Who had a terrible outbreak of hives.
Well that's what he said
As he took to his bed,
But perhaps it's just that he skives.
Just near to his house is a skip
Which he claims is the lair of a bunyip
He says he deplores
The sound of its snores
When he's trying to have a good kip.
Has a canary which never ever sings
Has a canary which never ever sings
Except when the choir
Sings Mull Of Kintyre
That canary, he sure loves his Wings.
Brought forth rhyming and many a quip
Brought forth rhyming and many a quip
Both amusing and clever
Including all and whoever
Brought forth rhyming and many a quip
Both amusing and clever
Including all and whoever
Participants get a hat tip!
Was enjoying a pint at a lock-in
Was enjoying a pint at a lock-in
But a pint up a ladder
Was enjoying a pint at a lock-in
But a pint up a ladder
Leads to quite a full bladder
Was enjoying a pint at a lock-in
But a pint up a ladder
Leads to quite a full bladder
So he needed a pot to pee in.
Who was said to have done much wrong.
Who was said to have done much wrong.
His sins, though most trivial
Were thought unconvivial
Who was said to have done much wrong.
His sins, though most trivial
Were thought unconvivial
Especially his wearing a thong.
Spent his afternoons browsing through Homer.
*I know there's a town in the UK called Cromer, but there's also a Sydney suburb by that name. Marvellous views over the Tasman Sea.
Spent his afternoons browsing through Homer
Until Lisa and Bart
Spent his afternoons browsing through Homer
Until Lisa and Bart
(can you tell them apart?)
eta: sorry Spike, I suspect that's not what you wanted me to write ...
Spent his afternoons browsing through Homer
Until Lisa and Bart
(can you tell them apart?)
Turned up and killed Sara Gomer*
*Tennis player from long ago - I'm scraping the barrel now.
A young man was rammed by a taxi
A young man was rammed by a taxi
The cabbie said "sorry"
"Still, it wasn't a lorry"
"I thought you were Rishi Sunak, see".
Was called in to rescue a teddy
Was called in to rescue a teddy
But sadly he tripped
And teddy - it slipped
Was called in to rescue a teddy
But sadly he tripped
And teddy - it slipped
To go whirling around in an eddy.
When wearing a red homburg hat,
When wearing a red homburg hat,
I decided, quite quickly
That I was rather tickly
When wearing a red homburg hat,
I decided, quite quickly
That I was rather tickly.
So I went off and stroked the cat.
How do you get
to scan
Or format, or rhyme; what's the plan?
to scan
Or format, or rhyme; what's the plan?
Put
into a box
An address to the docks
Send
as far away as you can!
The demise of this limerick thread.
So I’ll rake out the tinsel…
The demise of this limerick thread.
So I’ll rake out the tinsel…
And wrap parcels up in Sell-
o-tape, paper and ribbons of red.
Boxes down from the loft as we sus
Boxes down from the loft as we suss
And wonder whether we ought…
Or really should have bought…
Or would that be making too much fuss?
That it's still too soon for the tree
That it's still too soon for the tree
And lo, in the corner there's dust
With a stain of something like rust
And the mark of what looks like cat's pee.
Christmas comes but once a year
With lots of anguish, many a tear.
With lots of anguish, many a tear.
Who'll host the lunch?
Who'll feed the bunch?
Not much time for Christmas cheer.