Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    My guess is that the 5 modifies showrooms, not floors. There are 5 showrooms. And they are on floors! Which is comforting because I find showrooms floating around in the air to be unsettling.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Showroom floors implies there are other floors that are not showroom. The whole place is very likely a multi-dimensional time cube, where you come out with a new sofa but discover it's 1748.
  • And then face the problem of getting it home in your horse and buggy.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Firenze wrote: »
    ... a multi-dimensional time cube, where you come out with a new sofa but discover it's 1748.
    Do you mean IKEA? :mrgreen:
  • Lies?
  • Firenze wrote: »
    A multi-dimensional time cube, where you come out with a new sofa but discover it's 1748.
    Ah, you mean the Tardis!

  • From You-know-where, about roadworks: "There could be a number of potential disruptions you should try and avoid this weekend". Sorry, that's tautology.
  • From the same outlet (about George Foreman): "Former world heavyweight champion dies as statement issued". Couldn't they have waited until after he was dead to issue their statement? Or couldn't the subeditors have put "... champion dies: statement issued"?
  • Well, quite. The incorrect use of *as* is becoming distinctly annoying. I tend to avoid our local online news, in order to keep my blood pressure down, and to restrict the use of Norty Wurds.
  • From You-know-where, about roadworks: "There could be a number of potential disruptions you should try and avoid this weekend". Sorry, that's tautology.

    Hmm, I read it as "You should both try the potential disruptions and avoid them." That could make for an interesting outing! I guess you couldn't do both things at the same time...
  • Yes. The tautology I saw was the use of "could" together with "potential" - so "there could be a number of disruptions" or "there are [a number of] potential disruptions" - but not both!
  • 'Potential', like 'resilience', is a word that could beneficially take a holiday from the language for a while...
  • From "The Nation": The rubbish-strewn roads that greets visitors to Cardiff.

    Aargh (on at least two counts, one being the litter which is indeed awful).
  • :grimace: on both counts.

    (What does the rubbish say, though? *Bog off back to England*?)
  • Now, a gem from our local news outlet, to whom speeling is a Miss Terry...

    A prolific drug dealer has been jailed after he tried to run away from police and flush cocaine he was pedalling down the loo.

    My italics.

    He should have tried the washing machine, with a different cycle.
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    Now, a gem from our local news outlet, to whom speeling is a Miss Terry...

    A prolific drug dealer has been jailed after he tried to run away from police and flush cocaine he was pedalling down the loo.

    My italics.

    He should have tried the washing machine, with a different cycle.

    Boom boom!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    The puns on this thread, as usual, are going right down the drain. And I can't say I mind. :)
  • MarsupialMarsupial Shipmate
    Rats in ‘heaven’ as strike buries U.K. city in 19,000 tons of trash

    Took me a moment to realize the rats hadn’t been killed by the trash… (and my sympathies with any Birmingham shipmates having to deal with this…)
  • Fr om "The Nation" (Wales): Official version of sinking of wartime submarine sponsored by Bridgend is false, claims diver. This seemed weird: how could a submarine have been sponsored by a town? But, in fact, it was true!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Oh, so they didn't sponsor the sinking of the submarine?
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    Oh, so they didn't sponsor the sinking of the submarine?

    Nor the official version of the event?
  • Today the Oxford Wail is telling us that Police warn pubic after dog chases sheep

    (linked to pic, as the headline page changes, and the article link doesn't share the same headline)
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited April 14
    I've always thought it's best police keep out of anything pubic.

    ETA: Well done on taking a pic!
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    I've always thought it's best police keep out of anything pubic.

    ETA: Well done on taking a pic!

    I've been bitten by that before - they do sometimes notice (in fact they did this time) and change it, leaving me looking very silly.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    From the Indy online:
    Pope Francis’ funeral and burial explained as death kicks of series of rituals

    I read this several times, trying to make sense of it, before I realised it should have been "kicks off".

    Shame on you, Indy! 😳
  • Piglet wrote: »
    From the Indy online:
    Pope Francis’ funeral and burial explained as death kicks of series of rituals

    I read this several times, trying to make sense of it, before I realised it should have been "kicks off".

    Shame on you, Indy! 😳

    I don't even want to think about what the Oxford Mail might have made of that.
  • Not a headline, but a slip of the tongue on the BBC lunchtime news, saying that most of the Cardinals who will take part in the forthcoming conclave were appointed by Francis and "will be choosing his predecessor".
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    I know what they mean, but I do keep having a mental doubletake at the number of current websites with something like: "Live Update: Pope Dead"
  • Well, it is Easter ...!
  • Remember how all the news bulletins, after the Duke of Edinburgh's death, really amounted to nothing much more than *Prince Philip Still Dead*?
    :naughty:
  • A channel called *OnDemand News* popped up on my YouTube wossname today, with the headline *The Pope Dies: What Happens Next?*

    I know what they mean, but one could have some fun (?) with any number of possible answers...
    :naughty:
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Remember how all the news bulletins, after the Duke of Edinburgh's death, really amounted to nothing much more than *Prince Philip Still Dead*?
    :naughty:

    Always the same. Queen is still dead as well. And in Daily Express Land, so is Princess Diana. I mean she's still dead in the real world too, but you know what I mean.
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    Remember how all the news bulletins, after the Duke of Edinburgh's death, really amounted to nothing much more than *Prince Philip Still Dead*?
    :naughty:

    Always the same. Queen is still dead as well. And in Daily Express Land, so is Princess Diana. I mean she's still dead in the real world too, but you know what I mean.

    :lol:

    Quite.
  • I must be slow, but it took me a few moments to decode this from the Glasgow Herald today: Glasgow homeless hotel owners get massive jump in cash from council.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Yes, you'd think they could at least stay in their hotels.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited April 26
    How's this for convolution (inevitably from "Wales Online"?

    I ate the best BBQ food you'll find in a gazebo outside Wales' best pub, and it was frankly ridiculous.

    So how many gazebos serving food outside Wales' best pub are there?
  • Also: A blanket ban on dogs across a range of beaches in Wales will be introduced in May.

    Quite right, dogs don't need blankets in the summer.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    edited April 29
    I see the UK newspapers are having fun with, 'Pain' Spain' and 'Main(s)' today.

    Well, really!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Excellent! :smiley:
  • Not if you live in Iberia, though.
    :grimace:

    A power outage affecting two whole countries must be unique, surely?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    A Farcebark friend from Orkney is currently on holiday in Portugal - the first foreign holiday he's had in years - poor chap!
  • Currently?
    :lol:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Hey, I saw that!
  • RockyRogerRockyRoger Shipmate
    Currently?
    :lol:

    On a conducted tour?
  • RockyRoger wrote: »
    Currently?
    :lol:

    On a conducted tour?

    I'm resisting commenting.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited April 30
    Oops ... :blush:

    Perhaps that should have been currentlessly.
  • Watch the italics ... Too many of them and you might blow a fuse.

    (Not that we have fuses these days).
  • BBC website: "Snake halts Japanese bullet trains after wrapping around power line".

    Beats the wrong kind of snow any day! We're not told if said snake survived; we are told that this has actually happened before!
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