I followed a rabbit hole to the last ship.
My last cancer post on that old barge remains as true today.
(And I think I have requoted elements here anyway).
Death does not destroy relationship.
Those we love live on in our heart.
And Damn, damn, damn. [Votive]
Prayers for all. For life and relationship.
And beloved shippies.
When I read that she had pancreatic this time, I was very much afraid. It's one of the worst cancers out there, and usually - in the cases I've seen - fatal inside six months.
I know her son, James (he founded and runs a classical music recording company in Chicago), and plan to write him a note. My church choir had an outdoor tea this afternoon, and we toasted her and her memory. I think that's something that both of them would have appreciated.
May she rest in peace, and may her memory be a blessing.
Doctors continue to be confused as to what is wrong with me, and why I have no energy. It's not the cancer, they say, but they thought it was my heart. Now they reckon it's the stent in my oesophagus, causing heart-like symptoms. Whatever it is it's left me with very little interest in food. In 3 months I've lost 1 1/2 stone, and today I had to dig out an old pair of trousers. My waist has gone from 38 to 34. Normally this would be a cause for celebration, as it is it adds to my confusion.
Somewhere along the way, in the last couple of months, I have developed some sort of heart issue. I'm supposed to be taking blood pressure medication, for the first time ever, if I can just get the national chain that's taken over from our much-beloved local one to fill my prescription. (It's only been 36 hours and counting, dammit.)
Somewhere along the way, in the last couple of months, I have developed some sort of heart issue. I'm supposed to be taking blood pressure medication, for the first time ever, if I can just get the national chain that's taken over from our much-beloved local one to fill my prescription. (It's only been 36 hours and counting, dammit.)
Yesterday I found out what the problem is: My left ventricle isn't working very well, and no longer within the requirements of the study I'm in. That's the bad news. The (relatively) good news is that the two study drugs are both known to damage the heart - so I'm not being kicked out of the study; I'm being given a "break" for three weeks or so in the hopes that the problem will correct itself. (And they won't even hold it against me if the liver mets get bigger as a result!)
If said ventricle works on self-improvement and starts working better, great - I'm back in; if it continues to be an underachiever, too bad - I'm out.
Quality of life is important to me; at present, despite the necessity of the wheelchair and annoying 24-hour care (an expensive and privacy-destroying hobby, this), mine is still pretty good, she wrote, sipping on a glass of rather nice Côtes du Rhône. And I still have things I want to do. Therefore, I would just as soon live a bit longer.
I did just accomplish one of those things: I have filled out my absentee ballot! Although my health issues mean that I didn't have to have it notarized, I absolutely do not trust the ruling party in my state (partly because I lived in Cook County, Illinois too long to trust any ruling party); my lawyer very kindly stopped by and notarized it for me anyway. I shall have my morning carer tuck it into my mailbox for pickup. They're going to have to work at it to find a reason to trash my ballot.
If anyone had told me six months ago that I'd live long enough to vote in the general election, I would have smiled politely whilst guffawing within. But I made it! Deo gratias!
Rossweisse, you are a truly excellent person. Very very glad you got to vote and that you are enjoying good things. Hope your heart gets with the program soon!
Merci, @Stercus Tauri! I hope they don't find any halfway-plausible excuses to toss it. (But I suspect that New York is a better place to be a non-Trumpista than in the Red Midwest.)
Great work, Ross! Continuing to pray for you. You are truly awe-inspiring and I often bring you into conversations: "There's this amazing woman on the Ship of Fools..."
{{{Rossweisse}}}, so glad you've got to vote, not so glad about the left ventricle. Hope it decides to pick itself up and start working properly pronto.
@Rossweisse, Thank you for getting out your vote. Please know like others you often inspire me. I feel so blessed to be your shi mate and to be able to share your courage, wisdom, and humor.
I have finished cycle #31 of my drug! I am so screamin' crazy and fatigued but now I will have some days to recover. Then I will crawl out of the Black Hole and start all over again.
In bed till 5pm, sleeping, listening to music and reading off and on - I feel much better - thanks for prayers. Also - good news: my drug permit has got an extension - I just have to get them a scan but I have the appointment and so they are giving me a "bridge"
I'm glad you have a time to recover before getting back into the battle, @Galilit !
@Rossweisse , glad the docs figured out what was going on, and that it won't keep you out of the study! And excellent work getting your vote ready to mail!!! Now, if we can all just see T voted out, that will be worth several celebrations!!!
@ Galilit, Good News thank you for sharing it. I today's crazy world this little bit of heaven in a hell thread is always welcome for rejoicing with you.
@Rossweisse I am doing (figurative) handsprings here knowing you got to vote. Hallelujah! I pray that the errant left ventricle gets its act together so treatment can proceed. You are in my prayers as always.
(((@Galilit))) I am thankful for your good news and my prayers continue for you and @Robert Armin.
Thank you all for good wishes received. I'm still waiting for the ballot tracker to acknowledge that mine has been received, but this is a deep-red state.
I spent three hours at the Center for Advanced Waiting yesterday afternoon (seriously? for a lab draw and a doctor visit?!?), where I learned that my liver numbers are up. This is a Bad Thing, but one the medicos expect; after all, it's been three weeks since I had an infusion, and a week that I've been off the pills, and I'm promised that they won't hold it against me, under the circs. I just hope that the next echocardiogram shows an improvement in the guilty ventricle's functioning. I need to see how the election and its aftermath turn out!
It'd be worth applying for American citizenship, just so that I could vote for you, @Rossweisse!
Well, thank you, Piglet. I can’t imagine that I’d do a worse job than the incumbent; for starters, I’d listen to and act on the advice of the experts, whether scientists or the more trustworthy sort of generals. And I would not be issuing pardons to the likes of Roger Stone.
Comments
My last cancer post on that old barge remains as true today.
(And I think I have requoted elements here anyway).
Death does not destroy relationship.
Those we love live on in our heart.
And Damn, damn, damn. [Votive]
Prayers for all. For life and relationship.
And beloved shippies.
I know her son, James (he founded and runs a classical music recording company in Chicago), and plan to write him a note. My church choir had an outdoor tea this afternoon, and we toasted her and her memory. I think that's something that both of them would have appreciated.
May she rest in peace, and may her memory be a blessing.
My dad was pleased to be told they didn't want to see him for another 6 months and hopes things will calm down a bit by then.
Somewhere along the way, in the last couple of months, I have developed some sort of heart issue. I'm supposed to be taking blood pressure medication, for the first time ever, if I can just get the national chain that's taken over from our much-beloved local one to fill my prescription. (It's only been 36 hours and counting, dammit.)
Need help? Kari
Yesterday I found out what the problem is: My left ventricle isn't working very well, and no longer within the requirements of the study I'm in. That's the bad news. The (relatively) good news is that the two study drugs are both known to damage the heart - so I'm not being kicked out of the study; I'm being given a "break" for three weeks or so in the hopes that the problem will correct itself. (And they won't even hold it against me if the liver mets get bigger as a result!)
If said ventricle works on self-improvement and starts working better, great - I'm back in; if it continues to be an underachiever, too bad - I'm out.
Quality of life is important to me; at present, despite the necessity of the wheelchair and annoying 24-hour care (an expensive and privacy-destroying hobby, this), mine is still pretty good, she wrote, sipping on a glass of rather nice Côtes du Rhône. And I still have things I want to do. Therefore, I would just as soon live a bit longer.
I did just accomplish one of those things: I have filled out my absentee ballot! Although my health issues mean that I didn't have to have it notarized, I absolutely do not trust the ruling party in my state (partly because I lived in Cook County, Illinois too long to trust any ruling party); my lawyer very kindly stopped by and notarized it for me anyway. I shall have my morning carer tuck it into my mailbox for pickup. They're going to have to work at it to find a reason to trash my ballot.
If anyone had told me six months ago that I'd live long enough to vote in the general election, I would have smiled politely whilst guffawing within. But I made it! Deo gratias!
* Northern Ireland phrase meaning something like "stop mucking about and do what you're supposed to do"
And I find it interesting that your left ventricle is playing up. Is this another attack by the POTUS on the organs of the left?
@Rossweisse , glad the docs figured out what was going on, and that it won't keep you out of the study! And excellent work getting your vote ready to mail!!! Now, if we can all just see T voted out, that will be worth several celebrations!!!
(((@Galilit))) I am thankful for your good news and my prayers continue for you and @Robert Armin.
Brava, @Galilit! Prayers ascending this day and always for you and @Robert Armin!
Thank you all for good wishes received. I'm still waiting for the ballot tracker to acknowledge that mine has been received, but this is a deep-red state.
I spent three hours at the Center for Advanced Waiting yesterday afternoon (seriously? for a lab draw and a doctor visit?!?), where I learned that my liver numbers are up. This is a Bad Thing, but one the medicos expect; after all, it's been three weeks since I had an infusion, and a week that I've been off the pills, and I'm promised that they won't hold it against me, under the circs. I just hope that the next echocardiogram shows an improvement in the guilty ventricle's functioning. I need to see how the election and its aftermath turn out!
And that would be a bad thing?
O I don't mean you'd be nasty to the Bad People - just very Forceful...
<votive in a pretty pricket in a slightly neglected corner of a rural French village church>