Not a joke, but my son works across the street from a middle-school. 12-14 year olds. I pass on the jokes from this thread and he is a big hit with that age group.
I knew it was going to be that one @KarlLB! I learned it from "The Ecclesiastical Fun Book" by John Ryan (author/artist who drew Captain Pugwash among others). I had many of those jokes memorised before I knew what they meant - including that one!
You can apply this to any denomination and corresponding other denomination, but I first heard it like this:
So a child from a Quaker family is walking down the street and runs into the local Roman Catholic priest. And the priest says, “Hello, Jimmy. I heard your dog just had puppies yesterday!” And Jimmy says, “Yes, she did!” and the priest says, “Are they good Catholic puppies?” And Jimmy says “Yes, Father, they are.” And then they walk on to their respective places.
A couple of weeks later, the priest runs into the child again. The priest says, “Hello, Jimmy, are the puppies still good Catholic puppies?” And Jimmy says, “No, Father, they’re Quaker puppies now.” And the priest says, “Why is that?” and the little boy says “Well, Father, their eyes are open now…”
Not a joke, but my son works across the street from a middle-school. 12-14 year olds. I pass on the jokes from this thread and he is a big hit with that age group.
You will be surprised where these jokes end up with me.
Tangent alert: I think tis is rather a good joke from my erstwhile spiritual counseller:
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again," she replied. So on the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear--everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milk-shake. Then it was off to the cinema - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and ice-cream. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being eight again?"
One eye opened. The wife said, "You idiot, I meant my dress size!"
I entered a compostion competition and produced the score by letting myriads of specks of dust settle on a piece of paper to form random notes on the stave. I wasn't suprised when it won first prize because
Comments
What do Alfred the Great, Alexander the Great and Winny the Poo have in common????
Same middle name.
Love honey.
Won't eat Piglet.
She seeks an audience with the Mother Superior and explains she wants to leave.
"And what do you plan to do, Sister?" the Mother Superior asks.
"I'm going to become a prostitute, Mother!"
The Mother Superior takes a moment or two to recover herself, and says "Would you care to repeat that, my child?"
"I want to become a prostitute, Mother"
"Thank the Lord and his Holy Mother for that! At first I thought you said you wanted to become a protestant!"
So a child from a Quaker family is walking down the street and runs into the local Roman Catholic priest. And the priest says, “Hello, Jimmy. I heard your dog just had puppies yesterday!” And Jimmy says, “Yes, she did!” and the priest says, “Are they good Catholic puppies?” And Jimmy says “Yes, Father, they are.” And then they walk on to their respective places.
A couple of weeks later, the priest runs into the child again. The priest says, “Hello, Jimmy, are the puppies still good Catholic puppies?” And Jimmy says, “No, Father, they’re Quaker puppies now.” And the priest says, “Why is that?” and the little boy says “Well, Father, their eyes are open now…”
At the Grands Brie!!
You will be surprised where these jokes end up with me.
I'll Samurai-se it for you ...
Lizsterine
A pils-ner.
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again," she replied. So on the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear--everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milk-shake. Then it was off to the cinema - the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and ice-cream. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being eight again?"
One eye opened. The wife said, "You idiot, I meant my dress size!"
They’re very good at de-gauze-ing.
Or Mote-er Head?
Produced by Phil Speck-tre?