Bad jokes

TurquoiseTastic

Sipech wrote: »

This is shamelessly copied from a user on Mastodon.

Them: What are you dressed as?

Me: A harp.

Them: Bit small for a harp don’t you think?

Me: Are you calling me a lyre?

This is fantastic

Gramps49

Did you know Koi travel in groups of 4?
That way when attacked, Koi A, Koi B, and Koi C can scatter,
leaving the D koi.

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Did you know you activate 14 muscles
when you drink coffee?
Fitness is my passion.

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You think you can hurt my feelings?
I used to bring the wrong tools to my dad.

Stercus Tauri

After doing some remedial plumbing in our kitchen I remembered a saying from my beloved mother-in-law:

Old plumbers never die - they always smell like that.

Gramps49

I like waterlemon
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.

This is why you fail exams.

Gramps49

I am starting a new restaurant.
It will feature Curry on French Fries
It will be called.
Curry on my Wayward Spud
And there will be peas when you are done.

KarlLB

Stercus Tauri wrote: »

After doing some remedial plumbing in our kitchen I remembered a saying from my beloved mother-in-law:

Old plumbers never die - they always smell like that.

My dad used to say that about old soldiers.

Priscilla

There’s a thin line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny

Sipech

Priscilla wrote: »

There’s a thin line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny

Well, it's certainly divisive!

Stercus Tauri

Sort of a joke... The guest preacher this morning mentioned that his father was a Lutheran and his mother was a baptist, so they compromised when they married and became presbyterian. Of course he got a chortle from the presbyterian congregation for that.