Cancer SUCKS

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  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wise words, IDJ.
  • Reading this thread most days, I don't say much but think good wishes for all those not in remission.
    I have a dear friend though whose time is uncertain, but finite. I shall miss her terribly, but in the meantime we can continue to share many, many memories.
  • A rough week, this. I called a business contact yesterday to find out how he was - knew he'd had a health issue. His wife told me he had died of an undetected abdominal cancer last Saturday. The memorial gathering for his friends will be at a local Tap and Grill next week. I'm glad it works for his family. I would ask for something that gives people an opportunity to mourn and celebrate together, drawing strength from God (or, as Kinky Friedman put it, the god of their choice).
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    My niece wrote me today to thank me again for the rings, and mentioned that "I've already had compliments on them." (I think the Mater must be pleased, too.)
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Rossweisse, thanks for posting about the rings. It's obvious you did the right thing there.

    You have also reminded me that I need to send my second cousin a piece of her Grandmother's jewellery and a ring that was her Great-Grandmother's. I always loved that ring, but I have realised I will never wear it, and if I was runover by a bus tomorrow no-one else would value it.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    Brava, @Huia.
  • I'm fed up with being tired. Not as empty as I was when the chemo was strong, but I do a little and then I'm wiped out. So it's Monday morning and I'm wondering about spending it in bed. All I did yesterday was two services and visit my mum; not a lot.

    As part of this, sermons are increasingly hard to write. The creative part of my brain isn't working well. And I'm getting bad tempered over little things. I shouted at a good friend, offended him badly, and he won't accept my apologies. It leaves me feeling like a failure.
  • Oy, taking services is draining! I am in full health and am exhausted by Sunday evening when I have usually taken three. You are not a failure, and though it is sad that you and your friend are temporarily at odds, give him a day or two and try to explain how tired you have been. He probably thinks that you are "better" now and so should be back to normal. Don't forget that while you are getting better, you are not as you were or would like to be and that normal is a subjective term.

    Holding you in prayer - you are so brave.
  • Two services and visiting your mother sounds quite a lot to me. Plenty of people don’t do that much on a Sunday when they’re well.
  • SarasaSarasa Shipmate
    I’m finding visiting my mother wipes me out and I’m not recovering from anything. Hope you get your energy back soon @Robert Armin .
    Thank you for all the good wishes for my brother. For someone stuck in hospital unable to eat he is remarkably cheerful. At the moment he is researching places for the rest of the family to take our mother for a pre Christmas lunch.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited October 28
    I'm fed up with being tired. Not as empty as I was when the chemo was strong, but I do a little and then I'm wiped out. So it's Monday morning and I'm wondering about spending it in bed. All I did yesterday was two services and visit my mum; not a lot.

    As part of this, sermons are increasingly hard to write. The creative part of my brain isn't working well. And I'm getting bad tempered over little things. I shouted at a good friend, offended him badly, and he won't accept my apologies. It leaves me feeling like a failure.

    Much the same here, as regards fatigue - even the smallest routine job around the home (or church) wipes me out. I'm afraid it often goes with the post-cancer surgery/treatment, however successful that may be, so hopefully folk will come to realise this in your case, and cut you some slack.

    As regards being bad-tempered, check to see if irritability might be due to any medication you're taking. I'm on Keppra, the anti-seizure drug, and 'Keppra Rage' is a known side-effect.

    <votive>

    @Sarasa - <votive> for your brother, who sounds like a positive sort of chap!

  • I'm fed up with being tired. Not as empty as I was when the chemo was strong, but I do a little and then I'm wiped out. So it's Monday morning and I'm wondering about spending it in bed. All I did yesterday was two services and visit my mum; not a lot.

    As part of this, sermons are increasingly hard to write. The creative part of my brain isn't working well. And I'm getting bad tempered over little things. I shouted at a good friend, offended him badly, and he won't accept my apologies. It leaves me feeling like a failure.

    Wait a tick, you are just counting the physical work. Please go and consider the emotional work as well. Leading worship is a right lot of emotional work. You not only have the pastoral listening of the congregants but carry while leading it the projections of what the congregation think worship is about. You are trying to bear those projections (including ones that are uncomfortable to you) but also maintain your own integrity before God. That is difficult enough when shut in a room on your own let alone when faced with a crowd of people. Then you go and visit your mum. Now if it was a pastoral visit you probably would think of it as a tricky one as you'd have no idea what you were going into but it would not be your Mum. So just multiply the scale of the emotional burden by ten.

    Now you wonder why you are tired.
  • GalilitGalilit Shipmate
    Robert Armin:
    As it says in Night Prayer of A New Zealand Prayer Book
    (option 6 of 6 - it is an incredible Prayerbook for "Or this: ..."!)

    "It is night after a long day
    What has been done has been done;
    what has not been done has not been done;
    let it be"

    (excerpt from a slightly longer piece)
  • Galilit wrote: »
    Robert Armin:
    As it says in Night Prayer of A New Zealand Prayer Book
    (option 6 of 6 - it is an incredible Prayerbook for "Or this: ..."!)

    "It is night after a long day
    What has been done has been done;
    what has not been done has not been done;
    let it be"

    (excerpt from a slightly longer piece)

    It was written by Jim Cotter and I use it sometimes. I agree that it is beautiful.
  • Jemima the 9thJemima the 9th Shipmate
    edited October 28
    I think Jengie Jon is on the money about the non-physical work, Robert Armin. I hope the row with your friend is healed soon.

    Love from an internet random to those dealing with cancer and its treatment, and those who have lost friends to it. Remembering ST & Rossweisse in particular (what a generous and wonderful thing to do with the rings.)
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Praying 🕯
  • Galilit wrote: »
    Robert Armin:
    As it says in Night Prayer of A New Zealand Prayer Book
    (option 6 of 6 - it is an incredible Prayerbook for "Or this: ..."!)

    "It is night after a long day
    What has been done has been done;
    what has not been done has not been done;
    let it be"

    (excerpt from a slightly longer piece)

    Thank you for that quote. I will try to remember it.
  • I'm fed up with being tired. Not as empty as I was when the chemo was strong, but I do a little and then I'm wiped out. So it's Monday morning and I'm wondering about spending it in bed. All I did yesterday was two services and visit my mum; not a lot.

    As part of this, sermons are increasingly hard to write. The creative part of my brain isn't working well. And I'm getting bad tempered over little things. I shouted at a good friend, offended him badly, and he won't accept my apologies. It leaves me feeling like a failure.

    Robert - you are describing precisely what a lot of us know as chemo brain. Some medics deny it, but anyone who has been there knows it's real. If you can do two services and write sermons, I'd say you are doing pretty well! The sleeping is good. After your body has been engaged in chemical warfare it takes a long time to recover, and sleep is an important part of it. If you can find time and energy for just a little exercise - go for it. That will help too.

    From the Iona Community:

    O my God
    when the dark clouds gather over me
    when my spirits are low
    when my body mocks me
    when my heart is closed to the love of your people
    when my eyes are closed to the beauty of your creation
    Then, Lord, let me feel your arms around me
    until the light shines again.

  • TwilightTwilight Shipmate
    . The friend who died had had oesophagal cancer, the more cruel for him being a fine baritone, but he'd been told a few months ago that the cancer was no longer visible following vicious chemical warfare. Of course, that was the cue for people start celebrating a miracle - Jim is cured! Why the hell do they not get it? If a cancer is cured completely - highly unlikely anyway - it takes a long time to be able to say cautiously that it may have happened.

    I've seen that happen in churches a few times and it's been so confusing and sad for the children when the cancer returns. I've seen teens lose their faith over it. I understand the congregation wanting to sing praises and share hope along with the ill person, but it is important that people who are unfamiliar with cancer's evil tricks, don't wrap up all their faith in God on one of these "miracles."

    Prayers and tears for everyone.

  • I'm wiped out after a simple phone call with my mother. I'd say that simply visiting yours counts as a full day.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    @Robert Armin - I agree with those who say you're getting over chemo. Your whole body has been systematically poisoned over a period of time, and it takes at least as much time to recover from it! Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, and take things as easily as you can. I hope your friend comes around.
  • Haven't posted on this thread much but I have been reading and just wanted to say I've been keeping people on this thread in my prayers.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Galilit wrote: »
    Robert Armin:
    As it says in Night Prayer of A New Zealand Prayer Book
    (option 6 of 6 - it is an incredible Prayerbook for "Or this: ..."!)

    "It is night after a long day
    What has been done has been done;
    what has not been done has not been done;
    let it be"

    (excerpt from a slightly longer piece)

    It was written by Jim Cotter and I use it sometimes. I agree that it is beautiful.

    While Night Prayer was either written by or adapted from Jim Cotter's work, this particular prayer was not. It was written by a one of the people who was on the Committee (Commission?) putting the Prayer book together. He was a Regular worshipper at Christchurch Cathedral (it's not a Parish, so doesn't have parishioners, they call them Regulars). John Bluck, who was Dean of Christchurch at the time mentioned this when a group of us were using Night Prayer at the Cathedral.

    Apparently the people putting the Prayer Book together had had a particularly difficult day and one of them wrote a version of this out of his frustration, then threw it away. Someone else (I have a vague memory it might have been David Moxon) found this in the rubbish tin where the writer had left it and suggested that the writer polish up his rough draft so they could include it in the book.

    I think that the feeling comes through so strongly because it reflects the experience of the writer, whose name I wish I could remember.

    It is my favourite prayer.
  • Goes to show the tricks memory can play. It's certainly entirely Cotter esque. Thank you for the information Huia.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I'd like to echo what the others have said, RA - I reckon you're doing really well being able to take two services and visit your mum.

    D. never got to the stage of chemotherapy, but one of the symptoms of his cancer (even before it was diagnosed) was extreme tiredness. For several weeks before he went into hospital, he was really only doing what he had to - he actually found that playing the organ and conducting the choir took his mind off how unwell he felt - but the rest of the time he was very lethargic and had no energy for anything.

    You (and your mum) are still very much in my prayers.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Goes to show the tricks memory can play. It's certainly entirely Cotter esque. Thank you for the information Huia.

    Yes, I was surprised when I found out too.
  • ClimacusClimacus Shipmate
    Prayers and warmest wishes from the Antipodes to all.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    In the morning, I will have the ScanFest that tells us whether or not the study drug is working on the cancer. I would like it to be doing so.
  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    To your stations, orneries: may the study drug be working.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host
    #teamRossweisse
  • Candle for Ross!
  • NenyaNenya Shipmate
    Ross. >votive<
  • Here's another one <votive>
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Ross 🕯
  • Wesley JWesley J Shipmate
    <votive> Ross-wise

    May indeed divine wisdom reign!
  • Ross, prayers for all to be well.
  • Praying....
  • SarasaSarasa Shipmate
    Hope it's good news @Rossweisse
  • NicoleMRNicoleMR Shipmate
    Hoping for good news for Ross.
  • Continued prayers, Rossweisse.
    :votive:


  • MamacitaMamacita Shipmate
    #teamRossweisse
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    More good wishes from over here!

    #teamRossweisse
  • RossweisseRossweisse Shipmate, Hell Host
    My secret agent (my internist, who is a friend as well as a doc) looked up the results this afternoon: The lungs are unchanged, and basically okay; the liver is a bit better; the bones are a bit worse.

    I was hoping that the research oncologist would weigh in with a call, but there are but crickets from that quarter. Apparently I shall have to wait for Monday's appointment with him to learn my fate. It seems unfair, but what about this disease is fair?

    Thank you for your prayers and support!
  • Yikes! Glad the liver is better. I'm so sorry about the crickets, no fun at all.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Purgatory Host
    #teamRossweisse
  • DormouseDormouse Shipmate
    Prayers, as always, Ross.
  • #teamRossweisse
  • Well, it's good to hear at least a modicum of Good News!
    :sunglasses:
  • Dormouse wrote: »
    Prayers, as always, Ross.

    And candles lit for you yesterday (All Saints) - and every Sunday - in Southwark Cathedral.
  • GalilitGalilit Shipmate
    Soft and important bits (liver and lungs, not to mention brain) are more critical than bones ... I reckon ...it's a good sign. And a decrease in the rate of progression of the disease is good too - that shows EFFECT. Hoping for the best outcome...and prayers ascending too
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