Ship Quotes File (New Drawer)

245

Comments

  • EutychusEutychus Shipmate
    @Rublev on how Jesus interpreted Scripture:
    He is the Word of God so He is the Personified Hermeneutic

    So much this.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    @Arethosemyfeet on the suggestion that Theresa May has been offered a metaphorical revolver and bottle of whisky:
    She's already downed a bottle and a half and has been seen taking potshots at pigeons from the garden at no 10, while screaming "I've been absolutely clear about this, stop shitting on my fucking ROOF!"
  • Profound wisdom from Galilit:

    Indeed - poured a generous triple of Bombay Sapphire (with water that had lain in the frig to get rid of The Chemicals), added 2 perfectly cut thin slices of my last organic lemon ... and when I'd knocked that off I received a Message from On High - so I poured another one... and it turned out a double. (There is a squadron of angels in charge of wrist coordination did you know? Both for slicing the lemon and pouring a double when the triple is just beginning to hit the system)

    Feeling terrific now ... it's an ill wind, I tell you, that blows absolutely no good
  • GalilitGalilit Shipmate
    Awww...shucks!
  • EutychusEutychus Shipmate
    @Ohher provides a badly-needed upgrade to a well-worn meme to address our troubled political times:
    Ohher wrote: »
    We're officially through the looking glass and deep into Fun House Mirror territory.
  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    Barnabas sums up a gazillion pages of argument across multiple threads in a single sentence on the NoProphet transgender thread in Hell:
    Barnabas62 wrote: »

    But the penny never has a chance to drop at all if the response to questions is to parse them for diseased inner thinking.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Sipech pulls no punches on the Cricket thread in the Circus:
    Following up Test Match cricket with cycling is like following up a meal at a Michelin-star restaurant with an afternoon at a motorway service station.
  • ZappaZappa Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    BroJames hones his sacramental/homiletical theology:
    failing to preach on or from the text of the read scripture would be like consecrating the elements and then going along the rail and administering Pringles

    (though it has some attractions ... salt and vinegar, thanks)
  • kingsfoldkingsfold Shipmate
    Zappa wrote: »
    BroJames hones his sacramental/homiletical theology:
    failing to preach on or from the text of the read scripture would be like consecrating the elements and then going along the rail and administering Pringles

    (though it has some attractions ... salt and vinegar, thanks)

    Crumbs......That would be a real bugger for ensuring complete consumption.
  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    ;) Pssst...that's one advantage of memorial-based Communion over transubstantiational Eucharist: crumbs of the breadish substance aren't bits of Jesus on the floor, just something to clean up. ;)
  • I like 'you were the carborundum powder in my pebble-polisher' even more than 'you were as petrol to the fires of my sanctification'

    Just parking this here so I can find it when I want it next. :wink:
  • EutychusEutychus Shipmate
    I actually needed that word today interpreting.
  • TheOrganistTheOrganist Shipmate
    edited August 2019
    This from Karl LB in Preparing for a no-deal Brexit (Heaven):
    Garasu wrote: »
    Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise?
    Let us remember that not all surprises are nice. I mean marshmallow, yes, cottage cheese, yes, lime jelly, yes. Mixed together? It's like playing a lullaby on death metal guitar.
    Respect!
  • And from Mousethief in Proof Americans and Brits speak a different language (Heaven):

    Tea condom sounds like something you put tea in so that it can't possibly impregnate the water.
    :lol:
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Doh! You got here first!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    @Priscilla nails describing bad chocolate (who knew that such a thing existed?) in "Oh what a lovely present" in AS:
    ... a rather expensive box of very mediocre chocolates, most of which just tasted of brown.
  • From David in They Can't sing )Hell)

    You know you’re living in a snowflake world when no one has the balls to become a castrato.
  • From the "The nature of suffering and evil" thread in Purg:
    lilbuddha wrote: »
    If you are only seeing light through the cracks, you are on the wrong side of the wall.
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    Doc Tor, Hell Host:
    I am minded, given that your latest excreta didn't also appear in the appropriate thread in Purg, that your posting them here is an accident... But I'm certainly not minded to put them in the right place, because, being USAn, you couldn't afford the surgery to have them re-extracted.
    I laughed more than I should have, especially as the Dafling Minor then asked me what was so funny.
  • From Doc Tor on Why Christians Always Left me Cold in Purgatory:

    I'll take an ordinary decent pagan over a hanky-wringing milquetoast God-botherer any day.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wasn't "ordinary, decent pagan" someone's title on the Old Shippe™? @Firenze, if my memory serves?
  • In the Purg white supremacy thread:
    lilbuddha wrote: »
    I believe that people who claim a moral code should be working towards fixing problems, not merely abstaining from causing them.

  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Piglet wrote: »
    Wasn't "ordinary, decent pagan" someone's title on the Old Shippe™? @Firenze, if my memory serves?

    I still am, but it's squirrelled away in my profile now.

  • Wet KipperWet Kipper Shipmate
    edited September 2019
    From Lamb Chopped, in a thread about grief
    [when grieving}...This is not the time to sell your house, go on a diet, quit your job, or join the Mafia.

    Which also reminds me - isn't it about time we had another game of Mafia ?
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    It's always time for mafia :smiley:
  • I'd be up for it!
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    Done

    <tangent over>
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    mousethief nails the season:

    "Christmas comes but half the year."
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    On the Trump thread in Purgatory, Simon Toad gives us an insight into his whereabouts while he's reading the Ship:
    Croesos, that crack about Miller just about made me fall off the dunny.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    Dafyd on bullies who claim to be only joking:
    Among the Dead Sea Scrolls a manuscript of Genesis has been discovered that reads, Genesis 4:8, And it came to pass that Cain rose up against his brother, and said, Don't you have a sense of humour, and slew him.
  • DafydDafyd Hell Host
    Eutychus wrote:
    In my view this neatly illustrates the difference between being a "fool for Christ" and a "twit for Christ".
  • With acknowledgements, as often, to St. Adrian Plass.
  • @Rublev summarises much of Purgatory and Kerygmania:
    The whole purpose of theological debate is so that you can become confused at a much higher level
  • An absolute gem from @Martin54
    Martin54 wrote: »
    it is right to emphasize Him alone. He is far more than a shocking, existential but not forensic, not legalistic, yet essential propitiation for the concept and undo-able reality of sin and feelings of guilt and shame. He is the revelation of life beyond death, for Earth.
  • ALMIGHTY God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

    Maker of all things, judge of all men;
    We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wicked shitgibbering,
    Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed,
    By thought, wankgannetry, and cretinous cockwomblehood,
    Against thy Divine Majesty,
    Provoking most justly Thy wrath and indignation against us.
    We do earnestly repent,
    And are heartily sorry for this our shambolic cockbothering;
    The remembrance of this is grievous unto us;
    The burden of this is like unto the pain of flesh trapped in the maw of the arsebadger
    Have mercy upon us,
    Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father;
    For Thy Son our Lord Jesus Christ's sake,
    Forgive us all that is past;
    And grant that we may ever hereafter
    Serve and please Thee in newness of life,
    To the honour and glory of Thy Name;
    Through Jesus Christ our Lord.

    Amen.

  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    LC--

    Link to that, please? Thx.
  • Yikes. Can't do it on this device, but see the Russ thread in Hell.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    That is pure genius! <notworthy>
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Ohher:

    "The pro-Brexit stance seems, to this bewildered American, to consist pretty much of standing atop the Cliffs of Dover yelling "We're Us, not Them, Winners of the Last World War and Preemptive Victors in All Future Wars and If That Foreign Lot Don't Kowtow at Once to Our Obvious Superiority, We're Breaking Off the Engagement."
  • RooK wrote: »
    I think death is afraid of Ross, honestly. It's got to be like wrestling a honey badger.

    Great comparison!
  • Dafyd wrote: »
    The word never does not by itself make a reasoned and evidenced argument, even in bold, italics, and caps.

  • Assholes can make a weapon out of anything.
  • After a brief spell we're back with horror movies :grimace:
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host, 8th Day Host
    Ohher wrote: »
    Tubbs wrote: »
    Although my favourite so far was lb telling @RooK his accusation that they were being sexist was just proof he was sexist as they couldn't possibly be so ... Which is complete Boris.

    May I nominate "complete Boris" as the new euphemism for "Self-servicing projection of bullshit lies"?

    "The US President has pulled yet another complete Boris on the issue of the House's impeachment hearings . . ."

    Another winner in Hell, thanks to Tubbs and Ohher!
  • @la vie en rouge puts it pithily in a phrase I shall surely borrow:
    Our faith is in Christ, not in faith
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    North East Quine on the subject of her "Planet Earth" costume as the narrator in her church's Nativity play:
    I made a poncho-style thing out of blue net, cut countries out of green felt and glued them on. I thought it passed muster till the North East Man asked why I had an exclamation mark on my backside. "That's New Zealand" I explained.

    :mrgreen:
  • This made a lot of sense to me.
    IMO dogs are for people who need to experience what it feels like to receive unconditional love. IMO cats are for people who need to experience what it feels like to give unconditional love.

  • Congratulations to Robert Armin for possibly the worst quote of the year...
    Away in a manger
    One snip did the job?
    It's Christmas Eve. How the blazes to I get that out of my head now?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Karl LB quite rightly fails to mince his words on the "Royals on the Rocks" thread in Purgatory:
    The Tory tabloid media in the UK are a befouled and bleeding haemorrhoid hanging out of the anal sphincter of society.
  • Simon Toad lays out the problem with someone's post.
    Simon Toad wrote: »
    Your reasoning suffers from your conclusion :)

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