Ship Quotes File (New Drawer)

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  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    My favourite quote from a tv programme

    "Whilst Clarke may considerably piss me off, my dislike of him pales into insignificance compared with my permanent and utter contempt for you. Got It ? "

    Deakin to Graves. Between the Lines


  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    A most excellent drama.
  • A small treasure from Lamb Chopped:
    Yep. And I used to be such a nice person till I went into ministry!
  • Bill_Noble wrote: »

    A couple of years ago my church had the round of prophecies about the great wave. Pity none of us thought of a pandemic 🙄

    Less Palm Sunday, more Facepalm Sunday.

    Don't know what the "great wave" is, but love Facepalm Sunday. I imagine Jesus celebrates it quite often when he deals with us.
  • Bill_Noble wrote: »

    A couple of years ago my church had the round of prophecies about the great wave. Pity none of us thought of a pandemic 🙄

    Less Palm Sunday, more Facepalm Sunday.

    Don't know what the "great wave" is, but love Facepalm Sunday. I imagine Jesus celebrates it quite often when he deals with us.

    Every Sunday is Facepalm Sunday to Jesus, I'll warrant. And yet he loves us and died for us. Greater love has no man.
  • And this gem:
    Doc Tor wrote: »
    You're welcome here. I don't understand why you'd want to come to a new site, ignore the rules, deliberately antagonise the regulars, and just generally insult people. Some of the threads you've started have been genuinely interesting, but yes, you need to calm down a bit.

    Not everything is a direct challenge - currently you're at us like a budgie at a mirror.

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

  • And this lovely image, courtesy of Golden Key:
    Golden Key wrote: »
    LC--
    Choppers comes from a high perch of clerical compassion and awesome intellectual capacity. Occasionally he will bend down and reach out to poor lost souls like me, and gently point us back in the right direction. It's core gospel values. He's walkin the talk bro.

    Please don't anybody set him correct about me on any of the things he's getting wrong. It's so much fun to watch!

    Ok. I've been sitting here, biting my keyboard, trying not to correct IH.
    ;)



  • Golden KeyGolden Key Shipmate, Glory
    {Curtsey.}
  • ZappaZappa Ecclesiantics Host
    Not easy to convey this without the entire context - perhaps it would be enough to explain it entails lace - but anyway, Lyda was priceless in Eccles ...
    Lyda wrote: »
    I think deep lace trim is a bit much on a cotta or a surplice, but a little lace never hurt anybody, IMO. This is pretty tasteful : https://www.churchsupplies.com/store/polyester-surplice-lace-bands-4883.shtml :smile:

    This not so much: https://www.christianexpressions.com/sheer-nylon-embroidered-clergy-surplice (ecclesiastical lingerie more like) :confused:

    Looks more like a net curtain to me, but then I am not adept in the ways of lingerie.

    Well, I'm not sure a celibate priest would be adept in the ways of lingerie either. Which could explain things. :wink:
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    :blush:
  • TukaiTukai Shipmate
    Pendragon in the Hell thread about Idiot Architecture,ventures a thought about over-rating creativity:
    "To put it in practical terms, the designer, and especially the architect, should be aware of the difference between incremental change and excremental change."
  • Much obliged to Nick Tamen in the MW discussion in The Styx for:

    "My grandmother always insisted that Jesus obviously had a great sense of humor. Otherwise, she said, he never would have gotten so many dinner invitations."
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Nenya has the right idea about wine-tasting in the British thread in AS:
    Nenya wrote: »
    ... A couple of the people there are wine buffs and talk about the grape, the vintage, the nose, the aftertastes. The rest of us, like Mr Nen and me, go "It's white, from Sainsbury's." Sometimes I give the blurb off the back of the bottle to try to sound erudite.

    Nen, I want to go to wine-tastings with you. :smiley:
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Many a true word from @Fawkes Cat in the Come on Arlene thread.
    Fawkes Cat wrote: »
    For those of you out there who are betting people (and even more for those of you who are bookmakers) interesting times are definitely in progress.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited June 18
    A friend from Norn Iron who now lives in Cork posted on Facebook that he's had longer lunches than Mr. Poots' tenure. :mrgreen:
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    A cracker from @Jonah the Whale in the football thread:
    The England team needs to realise that you have to get the ball towards the opponent's goal, and not just pass it around the half way line. A few old-fashioned long balls into the area would at least give Harry Kane the opportunity to flop to the ground and win a penalty.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I'd have thought that after what happened to that poor Danish gentleman, flopping to the ground would be in rather bad taste.
  • This
    Maybe in heaven I can shit in the cat's garden instead?

    in a purgatory thread initially about The Brainwashing of my Dad* but with a slight detour into pets and heaven, made me hoot with laughter.

    *A film, I understand, not my actual Dad.
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    I aim to please. Unless you crap in my garden (I'm going off cats very fast indeed at the mo).
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I'm reminded of a cartoon of two statues which have been magically brought to life. One is saying to the other: "Now it's my turn: you hold the pigeon down, and I'll crap on it".
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    Speaking of heaven, @Simon Toad 's entry into the Pearly Gates could be... interesting!
    Simon Toad wrote: »
    Let's hope the Angel of God whips like a bored Mistress dressed in an SS uniform who's looking forward to her break.
  • Crœsos wrote: »
    * A good rule of thumb is that if the phrase "unmarked mass graves" (plural) can accurately be applied to a situation, those involved may not be completely trustworthy.

    @Crœsos being painfully accurate with regard to Residential Schools and the RCC.
  • Dafyd giving advice to new poster (who seems to make Martin intelligible in comparison) on the surreal 'Gold Standard' thread he started:
    Your train of thought looks interesting but you really need to start it at a station where your intended readers can get onto it and then make sure you go through all the stations on the way.
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    British tradition. Work out how long it takes to drive somewhere in ideal conditions, leave five minutes late, then sit fuming in traffic deciding why it it's not your fault.

    Karl gets it right.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    John Holding on the National Post newspaper’s attitude to Justin Trudeau
    <snip>If Justin Trudeau came to its editor walking on the water, the NP would complain that this just showed he couldn't swim.
  • Karl scores again, causing much happiness in this household:
    KarlLB wrote: »
    My theory about amateur sleuths like Miss Marple is that they do the murders then frame some other sap. Similarly, there's an undetected serial killer in Midsomer who pins his crimes on a series of other people.
  • Karl scores again, causing much happiness in this household:
    KarlLB wrote: »
    My theory about amateur sleuths like Miss Marple is that they do the murders then frame some other sap. Similarly, there's an undetected serial killer in Midsomer who pins his crimes on a series of other people.

    And never ever go on a holiday with Hercule Poirot.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Sandemaniac in AS on the subject of styes (at least that's what he says he's talking about):
    ... it's not usually me that's woken up by something engorged, purple and throbbing, though when it finally popped it was equally satisfying (that sentence is now, I note, even more innuendo-laden than I intended. I consider it a job well done).

    Oo er, Matron! :naughty:
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    North East Quine on differing work habits at Chez North East:

    "Few things annoy him as much as finally completing a plan, complete with bullet-point lists and diagrams, only to discover I'd already finished whatever it was. Bonus annoyance points if he'd been researching the best screwdriver, and I'd used a teaspoon handle."
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host, 8th Day Host
    Arethosemyfeet on the COP26 thread
    I'm pretty sure that right now if Biden spoke out in favour of motherhood and apple pie Fox would have talking heads calling it an attack on men and cattle ranchers within the hour
  • I so want to see that.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Circus Host, 8th Day Host
    @KarlLB explains why he's not a big fan of singing the Psalms:
    I do find the whole

    This line | goes like this | and finishes like that
    But this time | we sing so many syllables to this section and it seems to go on for a very long time ' and who knows why it's like that, not me that's for certain guv'nor, and how am I meant to know what these lines and apostrophes mean | Thank God it's changed.
    This time | o- | nly one Syllable
    Is sung to that bit | but this time it's lots again Oh God I've lost the will to live please shoot me now | how many more verses?


    affair - trying
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

    David loved Anglican Chant (indeed, he composed a few chants himself), and his enthusiasm eventually* rubbed off on me, and I enjoy a good bash at a psalm or two.

    * it took a wee while: I never thought I'd get the hang of it at first.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Sandemaniac neatly sums up bellringing on the What If .. thread in Heaven:
    If you become a bellringer, you get to go, but bugger off before the service starts... sort of ringing God's doorbell then running away.
  • DoublethinkDoublethink Purgatory Host, Acting Admin
    Huia wrote: »
    Washing machines hate technology that is smarter than they are and do their best to destroy it.
  • Huia wrote: »
    Washing machines hate technology that is smarter than they are and do their best to destroy it.

    Are they also grumpy singletons with a grudge against happily-coupled socks?

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