One day as I basked in the sun,
Wth few thoughts of the work to be done
Hostly Note: Please always reload a page before posting. Sometimes other posts will have happened in the meantime. Many thanks. - Wesley J, Circus Host
A gentleman who went for a pint
Met a young lass and said "Hi, ain't
It a pleasure..."
Said she "No. I can't measure
How rude you are and how unkind!"
Let's continue with Gee D's:
One day as I basked in the sun,
With few thoughts of the work to be done
One day as I basked in the sun,
With few thoughts of the work to be done
I went for a swim
Caught a Basking Shark's fin
We rode off. My work that day? None!
A doctor who suffered with cold hands
Found it rather a pain to hold glands
His patients moaned "Ewww!"
And they threatened to sue
So he quit, and he split, and sold vans.
A former doc, now van seller
Once met for more cash his bank teller
He thought her a doll
So he quoted St. Paul
And asked if she read Joseph Heller.
"Is this just a Catch-22?"
Said the teller, all blushing in blue.
Don't worry. I've never read that book, nor seen the film, and I will not judge the quality of anyone's references. And you obviously can go without referencing it as well.
"Epistles and dogs turn me off"
She said with a cute little cough
"But something from Mark
And a dance in the park..."
Then let's watch a film starring Tim Roth
"Well, I don't really care for Pulp Fiction"
He stated in delicate diction.
"But maybe Rob Roy
Will give me some joy
Or else my Miss Marple addiction"
While choosing some ale in the offy...
While choosing some ale in the offy
I bought one flavoured with toffee
Then some peppermint scotch
Which I spilled on my crotch
While trying to spike up my coffee.
While buying my lady some flowers
In a queue that would take several hours
I decided instead
To buy her a bed,
As the most exquisite of bowers.
or
While buying my lady some flowers
In a queue that would take several hours
I decided instead
To go back to bed
And pass the most pleasant of hours.
While rowing an eight on the Thames
While rowing an eight on the Thames
I waved at some pretty young dames
They waved and screamed madly
Had they seen Tony Hadley?
No. I realised my boat was in flames
We got caught in the thunder and lightning
And I felt my poor bowels untightening
With a gush and a fit,
The boat filled ... being lit
By a flash, with a bang, and most frightening.
(and did anyone think I was about to give way to a terrible temptation there?)
______________________
While choosing some ale in the offy
I bought one flavoured with toffee
Then some peppermint scotch
Which I spilled on my crotch
While trying to spike up my coffee.
Comments
(An unusual event - I'm a Nun)
(An unusual event - I'm a Nun)
A passing priest
(An unusual event - I'm a Nun)
A passing priest
Walked on by, or at least
That's the way that the story was spun
Subtle. I had to read it twice to get the implications.
This next one's dedicated to my late mum (who really was called Hetty):
There once was a lady called Hetty
Who one day was cooking spaghetti
Who one day was cooking spaghetti
By adding some GIN
Who one day was cooking spaghetti
By adding some GIN
(In fact, a whole bin)
Who one day was cooking spaghetti
By adding some GIN
(In fact, a whole bin)
She spilled it all onto the settee.
Wth few thoughts of the work to be done
Hostly Note: Please always reload a page before posting. Sometimes other posts will have happened in the meantime. Many thanks. - Wesley J, Circus Host
A gentleman who went for a pint
Met a young lass and said "Hi, ain't
It a pleasure..."
Met a young lass and said "Hi, ain't
It a pleasure..."
Said she "No. I can't measure
How rude you are and how unkind!"
Let's continue with Gee D's:
One day as I basked in the sun,
With few thoughts of the work to be done
With few thoughts of the work to be done
I went for a swim
Caught a Basking Shark's fin
We rode off. My work that day? None!
The Measles I happened to catch
The Measles I happened to catch
I broke out in spots
But I sure had the hots
For the nurses my doctor dispatched.
We read in the Gospel Of Luke
That Jesus ran into a kook
Who said "I'm the Lord!"
Then our Saviour implored:
"Okay, but can I be the Duke?"
Found it rather a pain to hold glands
Found it rather a pain to hold glands
His patients moaned "Ewww!"
And they threatened to sue
So he quit, and he split, and sold vans.
Once met for more cash his bank teller
Once met for more cash his bank teller
He thought her a doll
So he quoted St. Paul
Once met for more cash his bank teller
He thought her a doll
So he quoted St. Paul
And asked if she read Joseph Heller.
"Is this just a Catch-22?"
Said the teller, all blushing in blue.
A former doc, now van seller
Once met for more cash his bank teller
He thought her a doll
So he quoted St. Paul
And lines from the movie Old Yeller.
She said with a cute little cough
"But something from Mark
And a dance in the park..."
Ok...
"Epistles and dogs turn me off"
She said with a cute little cough
"But something from Mark
And a dance in the park..."
Then let's watch a film starring Tim Roth
He stated in delicate diction.
"But maybe Rob Roy...
He stated in delicate diction.
"But maybe Rob Roy
Will give me some joy
He stated in delicate diction.
"But maybe Rob Roy
Will give me some joy
Or else my Miss Marple addiction"
While choosing some ale in the offy...
I bought one flavoured with toffee
I bought one flavoured with toffee
Then some peppermint scotch
I bought one flavoured with toffee
Then some peppermint scotch
Which I spilled on my crotch
While trying to spike up my coffee.
In a queue that would take several hours
In a queue that would take several hours
I decided instead
In a queue that would take several hours
I decided instead
To buy her a bed
In a queue that would take several hours
I decided instead
to go back to bed
In a queue that would take several hours
I decided instead
To buy her a bed,
As the most exquisite of bowers.
or
While buying my lady some flowers
In a queue that would take several hours
I decided instead
To go back to bed
And pass the most pleasant of hours.
While rowing an eight on the Thames
I waved at some pretty young dames
I waved at some pretty young dames
They waved and screamed madly
Had they seen Tony Hadley?
No. I realised my boat was in flames
We got caught in the thunder and lightning
And I felt my poor bowels untightening
And I felt my poor bowels untightening
With a gush and a fit,
The boat filled ... being lit
By a flash, with a bang, and most frightening.
(and did anyone think I was about to give way to a terrible temptation there?)
______________________
With a lurch first to left then to right
Then another lurch which caused great fright
Some help please. What's an "offy"?