Limerick

stetson

With a lurch first to left then to right
Then another lurch which caused great fright
Then a dip into Hell

mousethief

Doublethink wrote: »

It means Off-License - but you can google these things you know.

This is true of any foreign word, too. And yet ...

Raptor Eye

With a lurch first to left then to right
Then another lurch which caused great fright
Then a dip into Hell
And Heaven as well

Gee D

If i google it, I get Offenhauser - excellent racing motors but did not fit the post.

stetson

With a lurch first to left then to right
Then another lurch which caused great fright
Then a dip into Hell
And Heaven as well
Then the Circus, to finish this blight.

stetson

A man who enjoyed all the ladies
At his death, got a sentence in Hades
He said "It's the shits
In these fiery pits...

Ags

stetson wrote: »

A man who enjoyed all the ladies
At his death, got a sentence in Hades
He said "It's the shits
In these fiery pits...

And somebody’s nicked my Mercedes.

Ags

There was an old Postman from Penge

stetson

Ags wrote: »

A man who enjoyed all the ladies
At his death, got a sentence in Hades
He said "It's the shits
In these fiery pits
And somebody’s nicked my Mercedes.

Terrific ending.

stetson

There was an old Postman from Penge
Who bore wrongs that he swore to avenge

stetson

There was an old Postman from Penge
Bearing wrongs that he swore to avenge
So he yelled at his betters
And burned all their letters

Ags

And stomped all the way to Stonehenge

Ags

The Druids looked up in surprise
Our man was a sight for sore eyes

Piglet

The Druids looked up in surprise
Our man was a sight for sore eyes
Standing in their stone circle
(a few miles from Kirkwall)
Saying, "Crikey, but look how time flies!"

Raptor Eye

A fly was preparing to land

stetson

A fly was preparing to land
On some poor unfortunate hand

jrw

A fly was preparing to land
On some poor unfortunate hand
But the fly got a call
From his best friend named Paul
Said "you're meant to be playing in the band!"

---

Ags

The band played a fabulous gig

stetson

The band played a fabulous gig
Though nary a Tory or Whig
Showed up for the ball
It was Radicals all

stetson

The band played a fabulous gig
Though nary a Tory or Whig
Showed up for the ball
It was Radicals all
Singin' "Down With The Queen", d'ya dig?

Merry Vole

Doing dad-dancing sort of a jig

stetson

Doing dad-dancing sort of a jig

Raptor Eye

Doing dad-dancing sort of a jig
With Curly, the pot-bellied pig

Merry Vole

Doing dad-dancing sort of a jig
With Curly, the pot-bellied pig
I stepped on a trotter
She cried 'You're a rotter!'

stetson

Doing dad-dancing sort of a jig
With Curly, the pot-bellied pig
I stepped on a trotter
She cried 'You're a rotter!'
So I served up the ham in the brig.

---

stetson

There was a young lady from Stanley
Who liked her men rugged and manly
But one time a geek

Merry Vole

There was a young lady from Stanley
Who liked her men rugged and manly
But one time a geek
Loved her thrice in a week

KarlLB

There was a young lady from Stanley
Who liked her men rugged and manly
But one time a geek
Loved her thrice in a week
And fixed her old laptop which was handy

----

stetson

There was a young feller from Moncton

Piglet

There was a young feller from Moncton
Who suffered a wardrobe malfunction

Merry Vole

There was a young feller from Moncton
Who suffered a wardrobe malfunction
His zipper got stuck
When he wanted to.. HAVE A PEE

jrw

There was a young feller from Moncton
Who suffered a wardrobe malfunction
His zipper got stuck
When he wanted to.. HAVE A PEE
So it looks like he's well up the junction

---

stetson

There once was a girl from Vancouver

Merry Vole

There once was a girl from Vancouver
Always a shaker and mover

stetson

There once was a girl from Vancouver
Always a shaker and mover
She brought herself fame

Gee D

There once was a girl from Vancouver
Always a shaker and mover
She brought herself fame
And a terrible name

Enoch

There once was a girl from Vancouver
Always a shaker and mover
She brought herself fame
And a terrible name
When she was snapped having sex with a Hoover.

________________________

At least it was Henry not Hetty

Wesley J

At least it was Henry not Hetty
As Henry seemed always quite reti-
Cent to do any work.
Luck'ly Hetty did lurk
It's the women who work, see? I betcha!

---

stetson

There once was a girl from St. John's
Who was clever with bishops and pawns

Spike

There once was a girl from St. John's
Who was clever with bishops and pawns
But when playing a rook

jrw

There once was a girl from St. John's
Who was clever with bishops and pawns
But when playing a rook
Lost her temper and shook
The chess pieces all over Raunds' lawns

---

stetson

A man quite proficient at checkers

jrw

A man quite proficient at checkers
Liked to play while riding double deckers
The bus swayed around
Pieces flew, people frowned
Then the poor man, he brought up his brekkers

---

stetson

Nice one.

stetson

Some men in a pub playing darts

stetson

Some men in a pub playing darts
Tried impressing some rather young tarts

BroJames

Some men in a pub playing darts
Tried impressing some rather young tarts
Said the girls, “What’s the point
Patronising this joint,
Which is full of boring old farts?”

Enoch

There's a vulgarian, Johnson by name
A man quite lacking in shame,
With money to waste
And no smidgeon of taste
Who chose Daylesford to show off his dame.

_______________________

He'd rather have held it at Checkers

stetson

He'd rather have held it at Checkers
(No, not Nixon's dog, you dumb peckers.)

stetson

Changing that...

He'd rather have held it at Checkers
With wine served by bowing Quebeckers