Limerick

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  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    He'd rather have held it at Checkers
    With wine served by bowing Quebeckers
    And handsome young Scots
    In kilts, doing squats
    So Carrie could ogle their peckers.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited July 2022
    A tourist, while dancing the hula
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    A tourist, while dancing the hula
    Thought: "This cost me a whole lotta moola...

  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Reverting to your original:

    He'd rather have held it at Checkers
    (No, not Nixon's dog, you dumb peckers.)
    But the kennel was small
    It was no home at all.
  • He'd rather have held it at Checkers
    (No, not Nixon's dog, you dumb peckers.)
    But the kennel was small
    It was no home at all.
    Rather like poor Boris Becker's.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    A tourist thought, dancing the hula,
    "This cost me a whole lotta moola
    Next year I'll hit Spain
    With the girl down the lane
    While my wife is away with her doula."
  • A young lad on holiday from school
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    A young lad on holiday from school
    Encountered a devilish ghoul

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    A young lad on holiday from school
    Encountered a devilish ghoul
    Who purchased his soul
    In exchange for a foal



  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    A young lad on holiday from school
    Encountered a devilish ghoul
    Who purchased his soul
    In exchange for a foal
    And a dip in the neighbourhood pool.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate

    "It's short, nasty, brutish" said Hobbes
    At which all humanity sobs:
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    "It's short, nasty, brutish" said Hobbes
    At which all humanity sobs:
    For the short, nasty thing
    Is likely to bring
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    "It's short, nasty, brutish" said Hobbes
    At which all humanity sobs:
    For the short, nasty thing
    Is likely to bring
    Bad food and bad sex and bad jobs.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    The Gambler said: "Know when to hold 'em.
    As well, you should know when to fold 'em..."
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    The Gambler said: "Know when to hold 'em.
    As well, you should know when to fold 'em."
    And just as he died
    He smiled and sighed
    And gave me his dice, but I sold 'em.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There once was an old Locofoco
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    There once was an old Locofoco
    Whose tastes were baroque and rococo
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    There once was an old Locofoco
    Whose tastes were baroque and rococo
    But puritan art
    Was a knife to his heart
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    There once was an old Locofoco
    Whose tastes were baroque and rococo
    But puritan art
    Was a knife to his heart -
    He derided it at every smoko.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate

    Odysseus hearing the sirens
    Thought "Wow, such delightful environs."
  • There was once an old lady called Marge
    Who lived on the canal in a barge
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    Odysseus hearing the sirens
    Thought "Wow, such delightful environs."
    Though he may have misheard
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    [Just reminding everyone that @Raptor Eye's lines are next after mine has been completed.]
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    Odysseus hearing the sirens
    Thought "Wow, such delightful environs."
    Though he may have misheard
    The chirps of a bird

  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Odysseus hearing the sirens
    Thought "Wow, such delightful environs."
    He twanged on his lyre,
    With harmonies dire
    And rhymes as facile as Byron's.


    There was once an old lady called Marge
    Who lived on the canal in a barge.
    She brewed her own beer,
    But it tasted quite queer
    For the water was not fit to sparge.


    One evening in old Amsterdam

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    One evening in old Amsterdam
    I purchased some cold hamstered ham
    They said it was pork
    But the meat on my fork



  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    One evening in old Amsterdam
    I purchased some cold hamstered ham
    They said it was pork
    But the meat on my fork
    Tasted more like Aunt Pam's fur jam

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    One morning in bleak Copenhagen
  • One morning in bleak Copenhagen
    A pickpocket, looking like Fagin
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    One morning in bleak Copenhagen
    A pickpocket, looking like Fagin
    Yelled "Hey, what the dickens!
    My hourly pickins'...
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    One morning in bleak Copenhagen
    A pickpocket, looking like Fagin
    Yelled "Hey, what the dickens!
    My hourly pickins'
    Are taxed by some eurocrat pagan."
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    There was a young lady from Norway
    Who hung upside down in a doorway
  • AgsAgs Shipmate
    There was a young lady from Norway
    Who hung upside down in a doorway
    Her look of surprise
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    There was a young lady from Norway
    Who hung upside down in a doorway
    Her look of surprise
    Could hardly disguise
    That she realised she was in a poor way.


    For mammals the bat is unusual
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    For mammals the bat is unusual
    For they can't walk or run. You shall all..

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    For mammals the bat is unusual
    For it can't walk or run. You shall all..
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    For mammals the bat is unusual
    For it can't walk or run. You shall all
    Be their rival
    For basic survival
  • jrwjrw Shipmate
    For mammals the bat is unusual
    For it can't walk or run. You shall all
    Be their rival
    For basic survival
    But at least it saves money on shoes f'you all.

  • stetsonstetson Shipmate

    But how long the reign of the mammals?

  • AgsAgs Shipmate
    The donkeys, the cats and the camels?
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    But how long the reign of the mammals?
    The donkeys, the cats and the camels?
    Their milk and their fur
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    But how long the reign of the mammals?
    The donkeys, the cats and the camels?
    They'll triumph, for sure,
    With their milk and their fur
    And their fangs all encased in enamels.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    So now then, we come to the sharks
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate
    So now then, we come to the sharks
    Who terrorize oceanside parks
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    So now then, we come to the sharks
    Who terrorize oceanside parks
    They eat innocent swimmers
    And old ladies with Zimmers
  • So now then, we come to the sharks
    Who terrorize oceanside parks
    They eat innocent swimmers
    And old ladies with Zimmers
    And doggies with high yappy barks.
  • stetsonstetson Shipmate

    So break out the wine and the feta
    We're making this limerick meta!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    So break out the wine and the feta
    We're making this limerick meta!
    If for you there's no mote
    In the grape or the goat
    Then what could ever be better.

    But for those that don't drink
    Or from goats milk just shrink
    And throw up at the thought
    Of all of that sort,
    Between them there's really no link.


    It's hot on the Loire at this time

  • It's hot on the Loire at this time
    Some see the sunshine as sublime
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    It's hot on the Loire at this time
    Some see the sunshine as sublime
    But others (like me)
    Think it's horrid, you see
    And would rather have frost or some rime.

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