I am starting a new restaurant.
It will feature Curry on French Fries
It will be called.
Curry on my Wayward Spud
And there will be peas when you are done.
Sort of a joke... The guest preacher this morning mentioned that his father was a Lutheran and his mother was a baptist, so they compromised when they married and became presbyterian. Of course he got a chortle from the presbyterian congregation for that.
Sort of a joke... The guest preacher this morning mentioned that his father was a Lutheran and his mother was a baptist, so they compromised when they married and became presbyterian. Of course he got a chortle from the presbyterian congregation for that.
Surely if they compromised, they would have become Baptist....
Sort of a joke... The guest preacher this morning mentioned that his father was a Lutheran and his mother was a baptist, so they compromised when they married and became presbyterian. Of course he got a chortle from the presbyterian congregation for that.
Surely if they compromised, they would have become Baptist....
Well one of my friends used to be a member of a club where everyone dressed up as a different seabird. It annoyed his wife who felt it was just an excuse for sitting around and smoking. "As far as I can see," she said,
Well one of my friends used to be a member of a club where everyone dressed up as a different seabird. It annoyed his wife who felt it was just an excuse for sitting around and smoking. "As far as I can see," she said,
Well one of my friends used to be a member of a club where everyone dressed up as a different seabird. It annoyed his wife who felt it was just an excuse for sitting around and smoking. "As far as I can see," she said,
"he's always Puffin"
A couple of friends were members who did Terns.
Very gullable, were they? Mr & Mrs Ross and their son Albert?
Oh, I was invited to a party where we were asked to dress up as birds - of all sorts. I decided to be a phoenix and just didn't bother going, as I don't exist.
Oh, I was invited to a party where we were asked to dress up as birds - of all sorts. I decided to be a phoenix and just didn't bother going, as I don't exist.
Thought you were going to say you set the place alight!
Oh, I was invited to a party where we were asked to dress up as birds - of all sorts. I decided to be a phoenix and just didn't bother going, as I don't exist.
You could of course gone as the fabled Oozlam bird, who flies in ever decreasing circles until it vanishes up its own fundament.
The other night I went to a Japanese Restaurant and struck up a conversation with an elderly waiter. He told me he was a Kamikaze pilot during the war. He said his name was Chow Mein. I replied, "Didn't Kamikaze pilots sacrifice their lives?" He smiled and answered, "My full name is Chicken Chow Mein."
A priest was called away for an emergency.
Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.
The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional booth.
After a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?".
The woman says "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."
A few minutes later a man enters the confessional.
He says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do?"
Man: "I committed adultery." Priest:"How many times?"
Man: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.
A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Rabbi: "What did you do?" Woman: "I committed adultery." Rabbi: "How many times?" Woman: "Once."
Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5..........
Comments
This is fantastic
That way when attacked, Koi A, Koi B, and Koi C can scatter,
leaving the D koi.
----
Did you know you activate 14 muscles
when you drink coffee?
Fitness is my passion.
----
You think you can hurt my feelings?
I used to bring the wrong tools to my dad.
Old plumbers never die - they always smell like that.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
This is why you fail exams.
It will feature Curry on French Fries
It will be called.
Curry on my Wayward Spud
And there will be peas when you are done.
My dad used to say that about old soldiers.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny
Well, it's certainly divisive!
Because it resin-ated.
Surely if they compromised, they would have become Baptist....
Bonus points for that answer.
His garage was full of paraffinalia.
A couple of friends were members who did Terns.
Very gullable, were they? Mr & Mrs Ross and their son Albert?
Thought you were going to say you set the place alight!
You could of course gone as the fabled Oozlam bird, who flies in ever decreasing circles until it vanishes up its own fundament.
The lady asked: "Do you have reservations?"
I said: "Yes, but we're flying with you anyway."
I will get me coat...
I love my little collection of oil lamps and have bought new wicks from a company called Paraffinalia.
This is the best joke I have read for a while
This is the worst joke I have read for a while (apart from the ones I have composed myself)
Keep it up people
A Peter parka.
looking for brains,
walks right past you.
Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.
The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional booth.
After a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?".
The woman says "I committed adultery."
Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."
A few minutes later a man enters the confessional.
He says "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do?"
Man: "I committed adultery." Priest:"How many times?"
Man: "Three times."
Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.
A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Rabbi: "What did you do?" Woman: "I committed adultery." Rabbi: "How many times?" Woman: "Once."
Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5..........
where sitting at a stop light in Dublin
when a bunch of drunks
pulled up beside them.
"Hey, show us your teets
ye bloody penguins,"
shouted one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior
turned to Sister Mary Immuculate saying,
"I don't think they know who we are.
Show them your cross."
Sister Mary Immaculate rows down her window and shouts:
"Piss off ya fooking little wankers before I come over there
an rip ye balls off!"
Sister Mary Immaculate, then rolls her window up,
turns to Mother Superior and asks:
"Do ye think I was cross enough?"
(Told to me by a former nun.)