Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • ArielAriel Shipmate
    "Rescued baby hedgehog turns out to be hat bobble"
    (BBC News)
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Ariel wrote: »
    "North Korea TV censors Alan Titchmarsh's trousers"
    (BBC news)

    I saw that. Apparently a glimpse of denim jeans is enough to cause North Koreans to deviate from True Socialism.

  • I saw a fur hat bobble while out walking this week and I admit it looked like a small creature at first glance. But it clearly wasn’t a baby hedgehog.
  • ArielAriel Shipmate
    I saw something in the middle of a busy street yesterday, but the wind blew it and I could see that it was an open, empty cardboard box with flaps that had been crumpled into the shape of a crouching dog.

    Sometimes it's nice to let your mind just go with the illusion that presents itself. Unless you're on the verge of woodland at twilight, of course.
  • From today's Guardian, reporting on whatever royal-related stuff it can find, I suppose:

    Electric rickshaw bursts into flames near Buckingham Palace

    There's a surreal short story in there somewhere...
  • Ariel wrote: »
    I saw something in the middle of a busy street yesterday, but the wind blew it and I could see that it was an open, empty cardboard box with flaps that had been crumpled into the shape of a crouching dog.

    Sometimes it's nice to let your mind just go with the illusion that presents itself. Unless you're on the verge of woodland at twilight, of course.

    We were eating icecream at Ted Drewes' today in the parking lot and saw what looked like a giant foot-wide white butterfly on somebody's chimney top, flapping slowly open and shut. I have no idea what it was, maybe some sort of plastic wrap? But why there?
  • It was the Easter Butterfly, trying to get into the house to lay Chocolate Eggs!
  • In a local paper in southern Ontario: The Nook Cookhouse gives diners a chance to eat in complete darkness. I can't think of a comment to go with that, except, "No thank you".
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Sounds messy!
  • Not just messy, I'd be wondering what on earth might they be giving me to eat!!
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    I think that's the point. There's been a famous restaurant like that in Paris for years called Dans le Noir. All the waiters are blind. The idea is to have a bit of an experience of what blindness is like. And yes, when sighted people go there, they (a) get food everywhere and (b) usually guess wrong when asked what they've got in the plate.
  • From BBC website: "People should not be arrested for smelling - minister". The hyphen, which I didn't at first notice, makes all the difference!
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    I think that's the point. There's been a famous restaurant like that in Paris for years called Dans le Noir. All the waiters are blind. The idea is to have a bit of an experience of what blindness is like. And yes, when sighted people go there, they (a) get food everywhere and (b) usually guess wrong when asked what they've got in the plate.

    Well, I'd hope it was what I'd ordered, sighted or not.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    It doesn't work quite like that. You tell them beforehand about things you don't like or can't eat, and they select the menu. Trying to work out what it is from taste/texture alone is part of the experience. I think the whole table usually gets the same thing.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    At least it's not in the dark, AND in the nude at the same time. That could be truly disastrous!
  • Easier to clean up…
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    At least it's not in the dark, AND in the nude at the same time. That could be truly disastrous!

    "Chipolata, sir?"
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    At least it's not in the dark, AND in the nude at the same time. That could be truly disastrous!

    "Chipolata, sir?"

    Ooh- dumplings!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    From Reuters:
    Pole dancers eyeing Olympics participation, but soul of sport at risk

    Prepare for stripper joints to be re-branded as "sports bars."
  • ArielAriel Shipmate
    "Knob throwing festival to return without eating race"

    BBC article
  • I never tried race - does it come with chips and gravy?
  • Ariel wrote: »
    "Knob throwing festival to return without eating race"

    BBC article

    Someone had a great deal of fun writing that. I think my favourite bit is where it says you can pin the knob on the Cerne Abbas giant.

    Though an evening on the beer mourning a dead friend may have removed what little subtlety my sense of humour has at the best of times.
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    At least it's not in the dark, AND in the nude at the same time. That could be truly disastrous!

    I can always rely on Wesley J to make me wish I hadn't posted something...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    He's a very obliging chap ... :mrgreen:
  • "Wales Online: Welsh rugby player, 21, dies as tributes pour in.

    Very sad - but surely he died before the tributes started coming?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Maybe he was crushed by the tributes pouring in?
  • That's the impression we're given, but apparently "he passed away suddenly" with no reason given. Very sad, whatever happened.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    That is indeed very sad - may he rest in peace.

    I've seen variants of that headline a lot lately - "X [insert name of celeb of whom you've never heard] dies amid tributes from [insert names of other celebs of whom you've never heard] ..."

    Just no. As you say, it suggests that the tributes are, shall we say, a tad premature?

    Whenever I hear of someone young and (apparently) fit dying suddenly like that, I think of ARVC, the genetic heart condition that was my boss's speciality in Newfoundland, where the first symptom is often a fatal heart attack, quite frequently in young, active men.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    My local paper (Philadelphia Inquirer) brightened my morning with this headline:
    Dead man stabbed, hit by car

    See, this is why I have always said that cars shouldn't be given knives.
  • But why should someone wish to stab a dead man?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Indeed. Maybe the car wanted to practice doing a post-mortem?

    Honestly, the real story is, if anything, odder than the headline: Man is hit by a white Kia and pronounced dead at the scene. The driver of the white Kia reportedly fled the scene...in a small black car. Leaving the Kia behind. And then the police found blood and a knife inside the Kia. They checked with the medics, who then confirmed that the victim had a puncture wound in his neck.

    So apparently the victim was stabbed in the neck in the Kia, then got out and then was hit by the Kia. Which was then abandoned at the site and the driver left in a black car. I'm guessing that the police suspect foul play.



  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    I'm guessing that the police suspect foul play.

    I shouldn't laugh...
    but I did.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Hedgehog wrote: »
    Indeed. Maybe the car wanted to practice doing a post-mortem?

    Honestly, the real story is, if anything, odder than the headline: Man is hit by a white Kia and pronounced dead at the scene. The driver of the white Kia reportedly fled the scene...in a small black car. Leaving the Kia behind. And then the police found blood and a knife inside the Kia. They checked with the medics, who then confirmed that the victim had a puncture wound in his neck.

    So apparently the victim was stabbed in the neck in the Kia, then got out and then was hit by the Kia. Which was then abandoned at the site and the driver left in a black car. I'm guessing that the police suspect foul play.

    Bad car! No gas!
  • ArielAriel Shipmate
    edited April 2024
    "News channel accidentally airs testicles instead of eclipse in live TV blunder"

    (From the Metro, a constant source of entertaining headlines.)

    "... it appears the viewer videos weren’t thoroughly checked, because one featured the sun beginning to go dark — before a pair of very close-up, hairy testicles began descending on the screen to block out the sun..."

    * * *
    (Loving the ones above. "Died of a surfeit of tributes.")
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Ariel, that's the best story we've heard for some weeks.
  • North East QuineNorth East Quine Purgatory Host
    So many headlines to choose from, as this tale seems to have gone viral. I'll go for a local one.

    Train diverted after concerns raised over Stormtrooper carrying 'firearm'

    An Aberdeen to Dundee train, one of whose passengers was heading for a Comic Con in Dundee was diverted back to Aberdeen. Said passenger was met by seven police officers, two of whom were armed, to confirm that the plastic blaster which was part of his Star Wars Stormtrooper costume was in fact plastic. He was also wearing a kilt but they avoided the obvious jokes about that. He was asked to put his blaster into a bag to keep it hidden while travelling and allowed to make a second attempt to reach the Comic con.
  • From the ever-reliable "Wales Online": The village down a quiet country lane with a ford and pub that's just been named poshest place to live. But what if I don't want to live in the pub (or the ford)?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    The rival village has a Chevrolet.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    And a coffee shop.
  • CameronCameron Shipmate
    edited April 2024
    From the BBC:

    UK inflation falls as meat and crumpet prices drop

    Not that bizarre perhaps, apart from the implied significance of crumpets in the national economy.

    I wonder if anyone will seize the economic opportunity and start selling burgers served between two crumpets?
  • You do mean burgers and not burghers, I hope? (Where are the emojis when you need them?)
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Cameron wrote: »
    Not that bizarre perhaps, apart from the implied significance of crumpets in the national economy.
    But what about the price of haggis?!?!?

  • It's something that the Scottish Government are feeling sheepish about. In fact they're finding it hard to stomach.
  • *loud groans*
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited April 2024
    You clearly need Milk of Magnesia.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Will you Sassenachs stop being horrid about my national dish? :mrgreen:
  • I actually really like haggis - in fact my wife and I had it to celebrate our engagement (in a cafe in Oban). We always have haggis, neeps and tatties on Burns Night and St Andrew's Day, washed down by "Scotland's other national drink" (and, in my wife's case, the national drink itself, albeit Penderyn from Wales!)
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited April 2024
    One from today's Guardian:

    Brazilian woman arrested after taking corpse to sign bank loan
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    One wonders whether the corpse signed the bank loan in the end!
    This is from the Daily Wail, and very strange too:
    Jeremy Clarkson, 64, left terrified was putting him into a care home
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    One of my purveyors of fine clothes, Brook Taverner, had this recent newsletter heading:
    Express Casual Style
    Took me a moment to figure out what 'Express Casual Style' is! Surely some new-fangled quick thing for the very busy man?

    Turns out 'express' is a verb. Which is slightly disappointing!
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