Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Must be where they sell "hidden exports".
  • To England, perhaps ...
  • From BBC website: "Hamburg police shoot man with axe ahead of Euros match". No, it's not funny ... but I did wonder if shooting with guns or pistols might have been a better approach?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited June 2024
    Perhaps the policeman was called Axel, and did indeed have an axe with him?
  • Any way you look at it, the culprit had a hatchet job done on him.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    You couldn't axe for more.
  • This one could almost be a Circus game.

    Botulism outbreak traced to ready-to-ear salads.

    I TOLD you and TOLD you to be careful with those salads. Did you listen? No!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Was it a cauliflower ear?
  • On this morning's Scripps News headline crawl:

    Paid breast pumps break for working mothers

    If they're going to pay for them, the least they might expect is that they won't break.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Fair point! :mrgreen:
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    'Million tree project launched in bid to conserve wild fish'

    I know it all makes sense at some ecological level, but it just makes me think: Roosting fish? Who knew?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Flying fish?
  • On today's headline crawl of one of our TV news channels:

    American consumers lose confidence in June

    Yeah, she was always a flaky one, that June was.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Let's hope they'll find confidence again in the other months. It must be depressing if you can only trust 11 out of 12 months of the year.
  • Hey, I've always been wary of February, but that's me.
  • Oi! My birthday is in February.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Oi! My birthday is in February.
    Wot he said! :mrgreen:
  • Piglet wrote: »
    Oi! My birthday is in February.
    Wot he said! :mrgreen:

    Likewise. I rather like the fact that it is the only month with a brewery in it.
  • Depends on one's pronunciation, I suppose. And I don't like beer. [Flees for cover]
  • From our local online news:

    ...mum left shocked after finding stranger in tent pitched up in her front garden eating a family-sized strawberry gateau

    Must have been a whopper (the gateau, that is).
  • Had to google gateau. Similar to what we would call strawberry shortcake. Still trying to picture how the stranger could be pitched up in the front garden if he was confined to a tent.

    From this morning's Scripps News headline crawl:

    Everyone has too many passwords

    Well, shoo, that explains everything, doesn't it?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    From this morning's Scripps News headline crawl:

    Everyone has too many passwords

    And 25% of them are "Pa$$word"

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    ... Still trying to picture how the stranger could be pitched up in the front garden if he was confined to a tent ...
    Because he pitched it in her garden?
  • I don't think the headline is particularly weird, considering the weirdness of the incident it refers to.
  • I don't think the headline is particularly weird, considering the weirdness of the incident it refers to.

    Yes, it was the vision of the cake-eating stranger that tickled my fancy...and the fact that the reporter felt they had to describe the cake as *family-sized* (whatever that may mean!).
  • No, no - it was the tent that was eating the gateau.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited June 2024
    Or perhaps the shocking thing is the size of it? - I mean, if he had been in the tent eating a regular-sized gateau, well, that would be less of an issue. It's the gluttony which is frowned upon!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    And here I thought a gateau was a French hat....
  • You did ? Well, I'll eat my chapeau!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Why would you eat a French manor house?








    (And, yes, I planned this out ahead of time...)
  • You did ? Well, I'll eat my chapeau!

    That is a beret, beret bad pun.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Don’t berate him for his B-rated humour. He’s doing his best.
  • BroJames wrote: »
    Don’t berate him for his B-rated humour. He’s doing his best.

    I hope he isn't. I hope he can do better.

  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited June 2024
    From the Hornby Railways website: "JUST ARRIVED! Experience the iconic 'Flying Scotsman' with Steam Generator bellowing around your layout today!"

    Really?
  • Slightly behind schedule . . . so what else is new?
  • "bellowing" ... I think not!
  • "bellowing" ... I think not!

    Hornby's proofreaders have not been doing well lately - their revamp of the old Pug 040ST is in a *marron* livery...
  • Indeed so.
  • "bellowing" ... I think not!

    Hornby's proofreaders have not been doing well lately - their revamp of the old Pug 040ST is in a *marron* livery...

    Didn't the LB&SCR paint it's locomotives chestnut?
  • I've always known it as Umber.
  • I've always known it as Umber.

    That's true, but from prints I've seen, chestnut might be quite a good description of the post-Stroudley livery. Not many memories will go back to pre-grouping times now, and early colour photos are unreliable - we're on our own!
  • True, although I remember seeing "Birch Grove" in the late 60s, painted in what I'd think of as a rather darker shade than chestnut. Hopefully when she was painted a few years earlier there would still have been folk who could have advised the Bluebell Railway as to the correct colour - although memory does fade. Or did they find some genuine Marsh Umber paint in the depths of Brighton or Lancing works?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Ahem, Gents, the proper railway appreciation thread is ---> over here. - Thank you. :smile:

    Wesley J, Circus Host and Fellow Railway Enthusiast
  • Hostly cough duly noted.
  • Apologies. It is a terrible affliction - must try harder to control it.
  • On this morning's ever-reliable TV headline crawl:

    Vista Outdoor Eyes Takeover Offer

    Yeah, those outdoor eyes were always aggressive. I wonder if the indoor eyes had any interest in taking over the offer.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Apologies. It is a terrible affliction - must try harder to control it.
    :D
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited July 2024
    On this morning's ever-reliable TV headline crawl:

    Vista Outdoor Eyes Takeover Offer [...]

    This one is really doing me 'ead in! - I can just about fathom what it means, but, as Miss Amanda hints at, the options are endless...
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    On this morning's ever-reliable TV headline crawl:

    Vista Outdoor Eyes Takeover Offer [...]

    This one is really doing me 'ead in! - I can just about fathom what it means, but, as Miss Amanda hints at, the options are endless...

    I presume - "Vista Outdoors" is looking as an offer of a takeover. Never heard of Vista Outdoors, but I presume it is a shop for outdoor wear.

    And yes, it took me several reads to work it out.
  • From the BBC (and heard on the TV news): "A woman has admitted murdering her parents after their bodies were discovered at the family home".

    I would have thought that would have been difficult, although I know what they mean and it's a tragic case.
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