Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • From Reuters:

    Spanish mother and daughter train bacteria to restore church frescoes

    To be fair to Reuters, the headline means exactly what it says. But I have this silly image in my head of a woman training a bacteria like she were training a dog. "What a good bacteria! Here's a treat!"
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    (Barbara Woodhouse voice): SIT!!!!
  • Piglet wrote: »
    (Barbara Woodhouse voice): SIT!!!!

    🤣🤣🤣
  • "I'm sorry, Barbara, but I don't approve of the color that Michelangelo used for the Sibyl's sleeve. I think I'll redo it in dusty rose."
  • Good ol' Wales Online:

    Trade union says Tata Steel job lasses are an act of 'industrial vandalism'

    That seems a bit hard on the wee lasses.
  • I missed that one!!
  • Steel mills know no fury like a woman scorned.
  • Ta-ta steel...
  • Very sadly (from an employment point of view), yes.
  • From "Nation Cymru", reporting on the unveiling of a statue of Paddington Bear at the shopping centre: "Everyone in Cardiff buzzed with excitement".

    Well I didn't, for one.
  • And from "Wales Online", that never-ending source of entertainment: "Top rugby match delayed as groom dressed as princess knocked out by best man on pitch".
  • One can only speculate on the possible reasons Why?...
    :flushed:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    From "Nation Cymru", reporting on the unveiling of a statue of Paddington Bear at the shopping centre: "Everyone in Cardiff buzzed with excitement".

    Well I didn't, for one.

    And why not? Paddington's cute! :smiley:

    Now I think about it, as Paddington is a Bear, perhaps growling would be more appropriate ...
  • Piglet wrote: »
    And why not? Paddington's cute! :smiley:
    Because I - like 99% of the population - knew nothing about it!

  • But surely you heard the buzz and wondered what it was.
  • Killer Bees??
    :scream:
  • The Council pruning bushes (as if ...)?
  • Tsk, tsk. ITTWACW. There seems to be no concern at all over the poor unconscious princess groom holding up the rugby match.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Was it a hold-up? Now there's a pitch for a wedding!
    In other news, the Daily Wail has:
    “Abbington unmasked: Katie Hind reveals foul names she called Giovanni”

    Made me wonder for a bit: Why would anyone put foul names into categories, and why might that be the Italian name 'Giovanni'!
  • Maybe it is an acronym for her Foul Name list:

    Grubby
    Inclement
    Ordurous
    Vile
    Appalling
    Nasty
    Noisome
    Icky
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited October 2024
    Excellent work, dear Hedgehog! Thank you for your superb investigation, which from me gets you a WesLitzer prize. :mrgreen:
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    Maybe it is an acronym for her Foul Name list:

    Grubby
    Inclement
    Ordurous
    Vile
    Appalling
    Nasty
    Noisome
    Icky

    👏👏
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Who's Katie Hind?
  • Who knows? It's obviously the Heil doing it's usual "Sue us if you like, we have more money for lawyers than you" bullshit.
  • Katie Hind *works* for the Daily Heil...

    I refrain from providing a link. You don't need to know any more.
  • Not a headline, but a description of the discovery of a 1,500-year-old ivory box:
    The artifact is an ivory box adorned with Christian symbols within a marble shrine. The box features numerous motifs, including a man turning his head with a hand descending from the sky and several biblical figures. This artifact is unique, one of only 40 worldwide.

    Emphasis added by me. I would have been irritated if, in the article, it was said to be "unique" and then later in the article they said it was one of forty....but to do it in the SAME SENTENCE?!?!?!?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    You are not alone, Hedgehog - that's one of my pet peeves too!
  • Yes, that's irritating, but imagine how turning one's head with a hand descending from the sky must feel.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Fair point!
  • The drama of life in small town Ontario (Cambridge Today) ...

    Ayr residents mistake pooping heron for sinister drone

    Police have concluded a substance initially believed to have been dropped by a remotely operated drone over a residential neighbourhood in Ayr last summer is, in fact, heron faeces.
  • Presumably this is the first time a heron has ever been known to poop over the town? An exciting place, indeed...
  • Now, if it had been a Pterodactyl, that would have been news ...
  • Or a stork.
  • Wales Online seems intent on scoring a personal best on confusing headlines today.
    Car three teenagers died in split in half after colliding with bus
    WO seems to have an odd sense of priorities.
    Man, 67, dies after police attend Clydach incident
    It also struggles with the concept of cause-and-effect.
    Doctor not guilty of possessing indecent images of children found on his laptop
    Ummmm.....what?
  • Do they have actual Human Beings writing this stuff?
  • Man, 67, dies after police attend Clydach incident

    Never, never attend a Clydach incident!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Quite!

    The Torygraph has:
    14,000 teachers call in sick every day

    Must be a Hell of a school!
  • You read the Torygraph ? Go, this minute, and wash your mind out with Brain Bleach...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wesley J wrote: »
    Quite!

    The Torygraph has:
    14,000 teachers call in sick every day

    Must be a Hell of a school!

    I know a retired teacher who seemed to call in sick every day ...

    When her head of department was looking for something polite to say about her at her leaving do, he wanted to say, "good when here". :mrgreen:
  • Doesn't speak well for the value of the ruble, does it?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    It's dollars though, isn't it? If it were rubles, it would probably be worth about £2.50.

    Nice try, Vlad ... :mrgreen:
  • Welsh, but not from Wales Online this time, and actually a serious story: Man to create giant GPS penis for mental health
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Good luck to him!
  • And do what with it, I'd like to know.
  • One hopes that he went via Three Cocks, Lord Hereford's Knob, and Fan-y-big. All genuine local place names.
  • I didn't know the last one of those!
  • I didn't know the last one of those!

    Not as funny when pronounced correctly unfortunately.
  • Indeed so!
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