Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • KarlLB wrote: »
    I didn't know the last one of those!

    Not as funny when pronounced correctly unfortunately.

    Spoilsport!

    Well worth a visit anyway - the views are almost as good as from Pen-y-fan, certainly to the North, and you can stand on the diving board:
    Fan-y-big

    If you know where you are looking you can see Lord Hereford's Knob from it as well.
  • Looks very perilous, I think I'll go to Ponty lido instead (not that I ever have!)
  • Not quite a headline, but I'm not sure where else to share it... There's a heading in our latest presbytery docket from someone with a "Request for a temporary marriage licence".
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    What are they up to, one wonders!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    That strikes me as the definition of pessimism! :confused:
  • The Onion buys Alex Jones's Infowars at auction...

    I saw that and thought, "Great spoof headline!"

    It's real - all over the news headlines everywhere!
  • How Justin Welby 'fell under Harry and Meghan's spell': As Archbishop of Canterbury resigns over 'ignoring' prolific sex abuser's crimes, how his friendship with the Sussexes raised questions about his judgement

    You can't keep a sharp-elbowed American down ...

    Anyone who isn's sufficiently mind-blown by the headline can read the full pile of BS here.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited November 2024
    WARNING! It's a link to the Daily Mail/Heil/Wail...

    It's not so much the headline itself that's weird - it's the mindset of the staff responsible for writing and publishing such utter tripe.
  • It is amazing how a cleric being friends with troubled royals is an indication of questionable integrity, and yet an MP supporting a blindingly incompetent and deranged presidential candidate is perfectly good judgement.

    No I am not opening the article.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    It is amazing how a cleric being friends with troubled royals is an indication of questionable integrity, and yet an MP supporting a blindingly incompetent and deranged presidential candidate is perfectly good judgement.

    No I am not opening the article.
    Or, for that matter, a Messiah mixing with tax collectors, sinners and all sorts of riff-raff rather than 'the naice people'.

  • Enoch wrote: »
    It is amazing how a cleric being friends with troubled royals is an indication of questionable integrity, and yet an MP supporting a blindingly incompetent and deranged presidential candidate is perfectly good judgement.

    No I am not opening the article.
    Or, for that matter, a Messiah mixing with tax collectors, sinners and all sorts of riff-raff rather than 'the naice people'.
    As Woody Guthrie sang:
    This song was written in New York City
    Of rich man, preacher, and slave
    If Jesus was to preach what He preached in Galilee,
    They would lay poor Jesus in His grave.


  • Not a headline, but an article about water companies in today's "i".

    Thames Water is in a parlous financial state, yet back in the summer it assured Ofwat (the regulator) that it had "strong liquidity".
  • I'd be more worried if in summer it said that its assets were frozen.
  • It may yet come to that ...
  • Not weird but ridiculous, from BBC website: "'London-style' buses promised nationwide with £1bn boost". Double-deckers whizzing down country lanes every ten minutes? - hardly.
  • But think what a £1bn boost could make a bus capable of doing.
  • Not weird but ridiculous, from BBC website: "'London-style' buses promised nationwide with £1bn boost". Double-deckers whizzing down country lanes every ten minutes? - hardly.

    The general manager of Ribble (a former UK bus operator of some size) was once asked why the company ran 72-seat double-deckers (Leyland Atlanteans) on a certain mainly rural route, often with only a handful of passengers aboard. The GM pointed out that it cost the same to run the double-decker as it would to run a single-decker (this was just before one-person-operation became widespread). but that it would cost more to field a relief single-decker and crew at busy times.
  • I think the point is not so much the type of buses but that you can't run a turn-up-and-go 10-minute interval service in the deep rural Shires.
  • I think the point is not so much the type of buses but that you can't run a turn-up-and-go 10-minute interval service in the deep rural Shires.

    That is true, of course. Why, even Our Village has merely an hourly service, and we are in a densely-populated suburban area on the edge of a busy conurbation. We often have a double-decker, though.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    But think what a £1bn boost could make a bus capable of doing.
    Nuclear propulsion?
  • Not a headline as such but clickbait lurking on the Oxford Wail's webpage:

    "Cruises departing from Oxfordshire..."

    Yeah, right. Oxfordshire is about as far from the sea as it's possible to get in the UK.
  • Ah, but there is a Canal...

    (I know this, having navigated it many lustra ago)
  • In which case the cruise ship would have to be rather small, and unable to provide the luxury accommodation that is no doubt promised ...
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited November 2024
    From the Welsh online journal "Nation Cymru": "M&S Wales Christmas jumper is back… and flying off the shelves". They'll need to tie them down or put heavy weights on them, I think - can't have jumpers flying around the store, it's an H&S nightmare!
  • From the interestingengineering.com website: World’s 1st ‘fart tax’: Denmark slaps tax on gassy cows. And that's only the beginning...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From the interestingengineering.com website: World’s 1st ‘fart tax’: Denmark slaps tax on gassy cows. And that's only the beginning...

    How do cows pay taxes? Via a cow bank? They're really milking this, the government.
  • They have no udder option, I suppose.
  • I wish I hadn't posted this one...
  • The jokes tend to roll off pat, don't they?
  • The jokes tend to roll off pat, don't they?

    I think it's time we mooooooved on now.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited November 2024
    From our local news online:

    Multi-million roundabout revamp to start after dormouse delay

    Apart from amusement at alliteration's artful aid, I often dread the dangers of being delayed by dormice, naughty little beasts that they are.
  • From Wales Online (of course):

    I'm A Celebrity star Annabel Giles died from same brain tumour as Tom Parker

    No. No. Not the SAME tumour. Same type, perhaps, but not the same one.
  • I forget where I saw this:

    Republicans push to eliminate DOE

    What will the poor bucks do?

    (Yes, I know it's Department of Education.)
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    From Wales Online (of course):

    I'm A Celebrity star Annabel Giles died from same brain tumour as Tom Parker

    No. No. Not the SAME tumour. Same type, perhaps, but not the same one.

    Well, you never know what the two of them might have been up to.
  • I forget where I saw this:

    Republicans push to eliminate DOE

    What will the poor bucks do?

    (Yes, I know it's Department of Education.)

    Oh, Republicans are usually very interested in getting as many bucks as they can.
  • Whether via shotguns, bows and arrows, or flim-flam.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited November 2024
    As are publicans. :smiley:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From some obscure corner of the interwebz:
    Traditional Latin Mass is like an Easter egg hunt that lasts a lifetime
    Whatever your take on Latin Mass is, this sounds rather exhausting! :neutral:
  • As a riddle, I don't think . . .
    Q. How is the Traditional Latin Mass is like an Easter egg hunt?
    A. They both last a lifetime.
    would past muster. However, feed the riddle into ChatGPT for some rather interesting answers.
  • An advert which arrived on Facebook: "Get a free hearing test at M&S Opticians today". Hmm ...
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    You may jest; I got my hearing aids at Specsavers ... :mrgreen:
  • It is a fairly common expansion. But also, yes, it feels odd.
  • "He gave me eyes that I may hear the wonders of the world ...".
  • Not a headline, but a bizarre TV listing: "60 Minutes, 7:30 - 9p"

    So, ummm, 60 Minutes runs for 90 minutes?
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    edited December 2024
    Headline in USA Today: Boy 12 Drives Stolen Vehicle Over Mountain Range, Sheriff's Office Says

    Happened day before Thanksgiving. Total distance driven: 160 miles, two and a half hours at freeway speeds. Most congested day to drive over the pass this holiday.
  • On our building's activity calendar for the month -- entry for next Tuesday

    Pest Control
    Sweet Treats


    Well, if we can have a sweet treat, why can't the cockroaches?
  • According to the Irish Times yesterday, 'Three babies committed speeding offences, Garda system shows'. The newspaper report seems to be perfectly accurate. The Garda data entry practices, however, seem to be in need of some improvement.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Gramps49 wrote: »
    Headline in USA Today: Boy 12 Drives Stolen Vehicle Over Mountain Range, Sheriff's Office Says

    Happened day before Thanksgiving. Total distance driven: 160 miles, two and a half hours at freeway speeds. Most congested day to drive over the pass this holiday.

    Yes, but what about Boy 13? He's normally the odd one out. We deserve to know!
  • To be fair, the actual headline has commas fore and aft of "12".
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