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Bad jokes

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  • EirenistEirenist Shipmate
    I claim my prize!
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? He couldn’t control his pupils.
  • Graven ImageGraven Image Shipmate
    What is the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist? The literalist takes things literally, and the kleptomaniac literally takes things.
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    Graven Image wrote: »
    What is the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist? The literalist takes things literally, and the kleptomaniac literally takes things.

    Groan
  • EirenistEirenist Shipmate
    If Trump has spurs on his heels, why isn't he in the US Cavalry? ( Not a bad joke, but where can it go?)
  • PriscillaPriscilla Shipmate
    I told Darllenwr Graven Image’s joke and he said it reminded him of the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl - the one shoots but. can’t hit, the other hoots but can’t s**it
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Turn away now if of delicate disposition.
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    You have been warned
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    Met a mate of mine down the pub last night.

    "Any road" I said, "so you did it then?"
    "Well, she was lying there stark naked in front of me. What else was I going to do?"
    "The autopsy, man, the autopsy!"
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    I built a bar on my roof.

    Now, all the drinks are on the house.
  • LuciaLucia Shipmate
    Joke from Lucialet no2.
    There are two wind turbines on a hill. One asks the other "What do you think of renewable energy?" The other replies: "I'm a big fan!"
  • TurquoiseTasticTurquoiseTastic Kerygmania Host
    Lucia wrote: »
    Joke from Lucialet no2.
    There are two wind turbines on a hill. One asks the other "What do you think of renewable energy?" The other replies: "I'm a big fan!"

    EXCELLENT
  • ChastMastrChastMastr Shipmate
    Q: When Lewis took an afternoon nap, what was it called?

    A: A C-S-ta.
  • Merry VoleMerry Vole Shipmate
    ChastMastr wrote: »
    Q: When Lewis took an afternoon nap, what was it called?

    A: A C-S-ta.

    So bad 😅
  • SpikeSpike Ecclesiantics & MW Host, Admin Emeritus
    I recently learnt that leather is rated based on its texture. Cows with an abundant water supply produce the softest leather and this is rated A. The leather from cows in the hottest, driest conditions is typically D Hide Rated
  • SandemaniacSandemaniac Shipmate
    edited June 5
    Spike wrote: »
    I recently learnt that leather is rated based on its texture. Cows with an abundant water supply produce the softest leather and this is rated A. The leather from cows in the hottest, driest conditions is typically D Hide Rated

    COAT! NOW!

    That's so, so dreadful I've pinched it.
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