Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited June 2021
    From Stripes.com:
    Fires Shock artillery drills end in the Arctic as US Army launches rockets in Norway

    This door is alarmed. And so am I. Ever so slightly.
  • From "Wales Online": "Mum who spent £400 a month on takeaways sheds 12st in six months". Fair enough - except that I first read it without the "s" on "takeaways",
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    A tragic, but also very obvious one from BBC News Online:
    Boyfriend screamed after finding sisters' bodies
  • A real "huh" for me, reading Bap-Train's entry just up the line. 'Murican' ignorance showing. Can we sing "The twelfthst day of Christmas"? Just funnin' you loverly Britsters.
  • Do you mean 12st? It means 12 stone (a stone being 14 pounds).
  • MarsupialMarsupial Shipmate
    Another question from across the pond: what is actually the difference between takeaway and takeaways? I would have guessed they both referred to food…
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited June 2021
    I suppose "£400 on takeaway" might imply one very expensive Chow Mein whilst "£400 on takeaways" would imply many separate more reasonably priced pizzas, prawn dopiazas and chip cobs over the stated period of time.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From the Guardian, one that cuts both ways:
    Boris Johnson a pundit who stumbled into politics, says Cummings

    Or: Cummings a pundit who stumbled into politics, says Boris Johnson...
  • KarlLB wrote: »
    I suppose "£400 on takeaway" might imply one very expensive Chow Mein

    Or one of those idiots that puts gold leaf on food because literally shitting your money away shows how special you are.
  • You've all missed my point, which was that the headline without the "s" on "takeaway" would have been spending his money on "takeaway sheds". Mind you, the rest of it then becomes somewhat ungrammatical!
  • But what is a takeaway shed?
  • But what is a takeaway shed?

    A shed you takeaway with you. Rather than having it delivered.

    BT - I got your point.
  • Google tells me there's a pond difference between what we Americans call a shed and what you Brits call one. But let's not get into that.
  • Ah. This is a typical British shed: https://tinyurl.com/dp5tfez7
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Makes me want to shed a tear!
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Ah. This is a typical British shed: https://tinyurl.com/dp5tfez7

    Sousa fanfare! An American shed https://tinyurl.com/w45ukadj :wink:
  • Well, we do have bigger models - and even, just occasionally, mobile ones: https://tinyurl.com/p8m4372f
  • Funny you should mention that one, BT, it passed me one day in Oxford and I nearly fell off my bike in surprise!
  • MarsupialMarsupial Shipmate
    Well, we do have bigger models - and even, just occasionally, mobile ones: https://tinyurl.com/p8m4372f

    When I saw “bigger models” I assumed you were talking about something like this. :wink:
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    Well, we do have bigger models - and even, just occasionally, mobile ones: https://tinyurl.com/p8m4372f

    Whoa! :open_mouth:
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited June 2021
    Marsupial wrote: »
    Well, we do have bigger models - and even, just occasionally, mobile ones: https://tinyurl.com/p8m4372f

    When I saw “bigger models” I assumed you were talking about something like this. :wink:
    I never thought of that .... however it is unlikely to be portable (for taking away).

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Well, we do have bigger models - and even, just occasionally, mobile ones: https://tinyurl.com/p8m4372f

    That looks like something Proper Top Gear would have done - right up Captain Slow's street!
  • Lyda wrote: »
    Ah. This is a typical British shed: https://tinyurl.com/dp5tfez7

    Sousa fanfare! An American shed https://tinyurl.com/w45ukadj :wink:

    Hardly typical. Closer to the median:

    https://mobileimages.lowes.com/productimages/c1b8109c-cf95-4032-88b0-f38cde5ba83b/09198313.jpg?size=large
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    True.

    I chose the one I did because of Old Glory. So many people put flags on everything. I can't imagine a Brit shed flying a Union Jack.
  • In an effort to shed this tangent once and for all . . .

    On tonight's headline crawl on BBC World News America:

    Illegal gold miners stalk Amazon while authorities look the other way

    Well, Amazon was certainly a gold mine for Jeff Bezos. Why not for everyman?
  • LydaLyda Shipmate
    In an effort to shed this tangent once and for all . . .

    On tonight's headline crawl on BBC World News America:

    Illegal gold miners stalk Amazon while authorities look the other way

    Well, Amazon was certainly a gold mine for Jeff Bezos. Why not for everyman?

    Who knew? Maybe I should "stalk" our local Amazon warehouses for underground veins of ore.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I just have to post this recent headline here, which has created much hilarity and admiration all over the planet. From the New York Times:
    When an Eel Climbs a Ramp to Eat Squid From a Clamp, That’s a Moray

    Link to the Indy100 here. And if you have a subscription to the NYT, the article is here.

    They continued alike with captions for the pictures in their report:
    When an eel wants a squid that’s on land — God forbid! — that’s a moray.
    If the squid is too flat, there’s no problem with that, that’s a moray.
    If the squid is so big, it still eats like a pig, that’s a moray.

    Formidable! :) (And the song is quite an earworm too.)
  • PendragonPendragon Shipmate
    The caption to a picture on the BBC's text feed for Wimbledon:

    "Men's GOAT race".
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    I just have to post this recent headline here, which has created much hilarity and admiration all over the planet. From the New York Times:
    When an Eel Climbs a Ramp to Eat Squid From a Clamp, That’s a Moray

    And if you have a subscription to the NYT, the article is here.

    Just adding for those who can't / won't check: the background for the title is a video-on-a-loop that shows just what it says: a small ramp where a human hand descends with a tweezer-like arrangement holding squid bits, to meet an eel humping its way up the ramp to grab them. I have no idea who had the bright idea first--the video stager, or the headline writer.

  • On the BBC Wales TV news tonight we were told about changes to education that will be made in September, in particular that "all students will arrive and depart at the same time".

    Why bother going at all, if that's the case?
  • From BBC Website: "Ecstatic England beat Germany to advance to quarter-final".

    Surely they became ecstatic after they won, not while they were playing - one hopes!
  • And what did they use to beat Germany with? Metal rods? Pointed sticks? Bananas? Whips and chains? Enquiring minds want to know!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited July 2021
    The Guardian:
    Bugs to the rescue: using insects as animal feed could cut deforestation – report

    Me thinking, hm, interesting, they want to feed insects to deer to prevent tree damage in forests.

    However, not so. In the aticle it then says: 'Adopting insect protein in pig and poultry feed could reduce UK soya consumption by a fifth by 2050, says WWF study'
  • Of course, there are already places which serve bugs to humans: http://www.grubkitchen.co.uk. Don't fancy it myself.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    I've eaten fried termites many years ago. They were rather tasty.

  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Husband en rouge's best mate likes bringing stuff like that to parties to freak everyone out. Doesn't taste bad, apparently, but I'm pretty squeamish about it too.
  • We tried some crickets recently, prepacked with flavours (lime, chilli). I couldn't get past the overdone saltiness and synthetic tastes.
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    The Guardian: Bugs to the rescue: using insects as animal feed could cut deforestation – report

    I'll wait until I see the bugs' report before making up my mind.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    When bugs prove to be useful, don't we start calling them "features"?
  • Amenities . . . not to be confused with anemones.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    As the old saying has it: keep your fronds close and your anemones closer.

    <hat taken>
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    From the Philadelphia Inquirer (the "Inkywire"):
    Flood and severe-storm watches for Philly as Hoagie Day moves inside
    If moving Hoagie Day inside is going to cause that much damage, it might be better to keep it outside.
  • Meanwhile, from the "You Can't Make This Up" department: Several news outlets have reported this, but the New York Post says it best:

    News crew held up at gunpoint — during interview with anti-violence official
  • From a report in "Wales Online": North Wales Police were called at 10.45pm after reports of “disorder” near the popular Llŷn Peninsula pub, which in 2016 hosted a visit from Prince Charles and Camilla. By then the warring factions had dispersed. Is it me, or does the grammar suggest that the factions had dispersed by the time HRHs came to visit?
  • From BBC Wales website: "Newport chip plant's sale to Chinese company reviewed". Quite right: chips are a British institution, especially at the seaside!
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    edited July 2021
    I’m fascinated. I never knew chips were grown. What part of the plant are they from? Root, stem, fruit? (Surely not leaf.)

    And is the chip plant native to Britain, or was it introduced by the Romans or some such?
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    BroJames wrote: »
    I’m fascinated. I never knew chips were grown. What part of the plant are they from? Root, stem, fruit? (Surely not leaf.)

    And is the chip plant native to Britain, or was it introduced by the Romans or some such?

    The root of Solanum tuberosum and originating from Peru.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    From a report in "Wales Online": North Wales Police were called at 10.45pm after reports of “disorder” near the popular Llŷn Peninsula pub, which in 2016 hosted a visit from Prince Charles and Camilla. By then the warring factions had dispersed. Is it me, or does the grammar suggest that the factions had dispersed by the time HRHs came to visit?

    How dare anyone have a brawl at venue visited by the Prince of Wales and his doxy?
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