Headlines of Utter Weirdness

1313234363759

Comments

  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    Marsupial wrote: »
    Coyotes facing eviction from arena for unpaid bills.

    It turns out that the Coyotes are supposed to be a sports team. On the other hand I did see an actual fox scurrying in front of our local community centre last night, so who knows.

    [tangent]
    @Marsupial please would you check your inbox :)
    [/tangent]
  • From "Wales Online": Welsh-trained horse winds National. Er - no.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Does it speak Welsh, then?
  • No ... it's that unwanted "d" in "winds" that's the problem.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited December 2021
    Ya. I just thought the horse might wind (up) folks - and equines - at the National who only speak English! :D

    Because there's something to be said for plurilingualism. Unde-neigh-ably. :)
  • [Groan!]
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    [tangent]

    Here's an Oldie cartoon for the above! :D

    [/tangent]
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Not a headline, but a weird product description for a set of 2 (separate) coffee tables, found somewhere on the web:
    With the set your creativity is free run, because you can arrange the tables completely according to your desires.

    Who'd have thunk!
  • My creativity is free run? What does that exactly mean?
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    mousethief wrote: »
    My creativity is free run? What does that exactly mean?

    I suspect that not even the person who wrote that has any better idea of its meaning than you or I. But it sounded good to the author.
  • You might even arrange the tables incompletely!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    It is mind-boggling, isn't it.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I thought "free run" meant something to do with eggs: one step below being "free range"?

    It doesn't really help with your coffee tables though!
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Free run reminds me of the carrier bag we acquired in Hong Kong airport, emblazoned with 'Free Duty'. Designed by someone with enough English to know the adjective precedes the noun, but not enough to know not always.
  • Firenze wrote: »
    Free run reminds me of the carrier bag we acquired in Hong Kong airport, emblazoned with 'Free Duty'. Designed by someone with enough English to know the adjective precedes the noun, but not enough to know not always.

    Of course it should be duty-free, all one word.
  • Firenze wrote: »
    Free run reminds me of the carrier bag we acquired in Hong Kong airport, emblazoned with 'Free Duty'. Designed by someone with enough English to know the adjective precedes the noun, but not enough to know not always.

    This puzzled me on many occasions on my way in and out of HK airport, where “Free Duty” is the branded name of every duty-free store. My hunch was that they knew it was “wrong” but decided to go with it anyway. Ms. Marsupial who grew up in HK is not sure about that, but admits to having always read it unconsciously as “Duty Free”.

  • It just seems hasty to me. They should have started with "Justice For Duty" and then moved on to "Free Duty."
  • Does it apply to "duty free"? Meaning there is duty collected, but not for YOU, deary. If it means the same as free duty, then arrange your coffee tables upside down, or stack them one on the other. It might catch on.
  • From BBC Wales: "Wales-Ireland walking route to celebrate Celtic links".

    Hmm - walking on water again? (To be fair, the article mentions ferries - but the headline doesn't!)
  • No, no - they're anticipating the Boris Bridge!

    You walk from Wales to Scotland, and then across the Bridge to Ireland (dodging the road traffic, and the indeterminate-gauge trains, en route).

    Simples, yes?
  • Is there (or will there be a...) bridge to Ireland? or are you pulling my leg?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited January 2022
    [tangent]
    It was mooted, as a means of unbuggering the customs bollocks between Britain and Northern Ireland caused by Brexit, but anyone with half a brain can see it's a Very Silly Idea.
    [/tangent]
  • From the "Independent": Sand artist creates huge carving of owl with garden rake.

    What was the owl doing with the rake, one must ask.
  • You haven't been learning languages with Duolingo, have you? What that owl, and a cast of sundry other animal characters, gets up to is mindboggling.
  • From the "Independent": Sand artist creates huge carving of owl with garden rake.

    What was the owl doing with the rake, one must ask.
    Tending his garden, obviously.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited January 2022
    Possibly even raking his lawn...as one does...
    :lol:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Ah! That explains what Roger Moore did on the moon! (Never saw the film, myself.)
  • Possibly even raking his lawn...as one does...
    :lol:

    Beats raking the forest to avoid fires.
  • Possibly even raking his lawn...as one does...
    :lol:

    Beats raking the forest to avoid fires.

    Indeed.

    We do sometimes get grass fires in England, but nothing like the awful stuff you have over the Pond...
  • We get quite bad ones in South Wales - mostly arson, which is appalling.
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited January 2022
    From the "i": "Sir David Attenborough stabbed by ‘dangerous’ cactus".

    Clearly we need to crack down on plants with such criminal leanings. These incidents wouldn't happen if there were more policemen patrolling the streets. Mind you, I blame the parent cacti for not bringing up their children properly: when I were a lad plants knew how to keep their spines to themselves. (etc.)
  • Lock 'em up! Chop their spines orf! They're foreign things, anyway!
  • These are cacti. Perhaps the appropriate punishment should be: "Water them to within an inch of their lives, that'll teach them to mess with a National Treasure!"
  • Yes! Drown 'em! Evil foreign spiny wotsits!

    (I do hope Sir D wasn't seriously hurt, though. How dangerous was the thing?).
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited January 2022
    Well, maybe he shouldn't go putting his hand into Dangerous Cacti...the poor things are only umm vegetables, after all.
  • From the "i": "Sir David Attenborough stabbed by ‘dangerous’ cactus".

    Clearly we need to crack down on plants with such criminal leanings. These incidents wouldn't happen if there were more policemen patrolling the streets. Mind you, I blame the parent cacti for not bringing up their children properly: when I were a lad plants knew how to keep their spines to themselves. (etc.)

    i spent so much time trying to click past the crap to find out if there was a human actor carrying the cactus around. No, just a headline writer with a turn for the over-dramatic.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Judging by the pictures on Google of the cholla cactus, it does look a bit ferocious.
  • Can running bring you closer to God? asks the (Canadian) Anglican Journal.

    I suppose it depends on how fast God runs.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    Marsupial wrote: »
    Can running bring you closer to God? asks the (Canadian) Anglican Journal.

    If you keel over with a heart attack then it certainly can.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Or running across a busy street with the lights for you on red.
  • The last two posters are making a certain assumption as to whether you'll be going "up" or "down", methinks.
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    The last two posters are making a certain assumption as to whether you'll be going "up" or "down", methinks.

    "Can", not "will"
  • From a clickbait ad rather than a headline:
    An increasingly popular too to fight anxiety
    Is the anxiety over making typos?
  • The l it is...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    L as in Learner journo!
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    From a clickbait ad rather than a headline:
    An increasingly popular too to fight anxiety
    Is the anxiety over making typos?

    I read this as "popular poo".
  • The l it is...
    For the record, I am envious as all hell that I didn't think of this comment first.
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    From a clickbait ad rather than a headline:
    An increasingly popular too to fight anxiety
    Is the anxiety over making typos?

    I read this as "popular poo".

    I wonder what that says about you?
  • From the headline crawl on the ever-reliable NewsNet TV channel:

    Man charged with murdering wife he buried

    And here I thought all along that she was dead before he buried her. What do I know?
Sign In or Register to comment.