Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Not a headline but a sentence from a BBC news story about film footage being released by the Queen.
    The footage will show her early life, from being pushed in a pram by her mother to her coronation in 1953.
  • :lol:

    Well, it was said that the Queen Mum was a strong as a horse...
  • Good thing she wasn't crowned at St Paul's then - all those steps up to the front door!
  • mousethiefmousethief Shipmate
    I'm picturing a 2 year old Lizzie in a stroller saying, "We are going to be crowned, mummy."
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I'm picturing the 27-year-old Lizzie arriving at the Abbey in full regalia in a Silver Cross pram (pushed by the QM, obviously). :mrgreen:
  • I'm picturing HM arriving at the Abbey accompanied by Nursie (Patsy Byrne) from Blackadder...
  • The BBC News website tells us that the French inventor Franky Zapata was injured after his homemade jetpack crashed into a lake.

    This sentence should probably not have made me smile: "The former jet-ski champion rose to fame after crossing the English Channel on his device in 2019". Well, he clearly couldn't have done it at seal evel or underwater!
  • A local paper in Ontario would like to inform us of the following:

    Multiple break-ins in Georgetown have police looking for man in Pittsburgh Steelers pants.
  • What? Have their uniforms not come back from the laundry yet?
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    Or maybe they’re asking the Pittsburgh Steelers to drop their pants to show they’re not concealing a fugitive.
  • Yes, one can read the headline in various ways...
    :wink:
  • BroJames wrote: »
    Or maybe they’re asking the Pittsburgh Steelers to drop their pants to show they’re not concealing a fugitive.

    Among other things. :smirk:
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    BBC News Scotland -

    'Prince Anne and her husband also met Ukrainian orphans during a visit to Edinburgh Zoo'.

    Raises more questions than it answers.
  • Not exactly weird, but perhaps something of a relief:

    Queen appears on Buckingham Palace balcony live

    😌
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Firenze wrote: »
    BBC News Scotland -

    'Prince Anne and her husband also met Ukrainian orphans during a visit to Edinburgh Zoo'.

    Raises more questions than it answers.

    How are the orphans now?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Or even more inportantly, where?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    For reasons irrelevant, I was looking up the city of Colmar, France in Wikipedia. The history of the city contains this lovely little line:
    This was the location where the Carolingian Emperor Charles the Fat held a diet in 884.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Love it! :mrgreen:
  • Gramps49Gramps49 Shipmate
    Just the other day, I found I am a direct descendant of Charles the Fat. Oops, wrong thread.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    What fat chance is that!
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    For reasons irrelevant, I was looking up the city of Colmar, France in Wikipedia. The history of the city contains this lovely little line:
    This was the location where the Carolingian Emperor Charles the Fat held a diet in 884.
    Well at least it wasn't the Diet of Worms.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I wondered when someone would bring that up (as it were) ... :mrgreen:
  • There's probably been a fancy book, somewhere, which has recommended such a thing.
  • Not a headline as such, but an advert on our Diocesan website:

    [X] Team Ministry Team Reactor

    No doubt needed to build a *power-house of prayer*, or some such...
  • Possibly. Or someone who, whenever a new idea is put forward by another member of the team, says, "Oh! No! You must be joking!!!!!"
  • :lol:

    I hadn't thought of that possibility...
  • You hadn't? [Says he, reacting].
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From The Torygraph, re the apparent ad boycott of GBNews:
    Some of the world's biggest brands including Grolsch, Ikea and the skincare brand Ikea suspended ad ties following the attack [...]

    I can't even begin to imagine what an IKEA skincare product would look like...!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    The ingredients all come in little bottles and boxes, and you have to mix them together and put them in a tube.
  • Not a headline as such, but an advert on our Diocesan website:

    [X] Team Ministry Team Reactor

    No doubt needed to build a *power-house of prayer*, or some such...

    To be fair, it's about as realistic an 'ask' as most adverts in the Church Times, most of which expect their new minister to be a cross between Jesus, the Archangel Gabriel and Superman, with a touch of Fascist Dictator to make the trains/services run on time.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Piglet wrote: »
    The ingredients all come in little bottles and boxes, and you have to mix them together and put them in a tube.

    Into which tube they will not fit...
    Not a headline as such, but an advert on our Diocesan website:

    [X] Team Ministry Team Reactor

    No doubt needed to build a *power-house of prayer*, or some such...

    To be fair, it's about as realistic an 'ask' as most adverts in the Church Times, most of which expect their new minister to be a cross between Jesus, the Archangel Gabriel and Superman, with a touch of Fascist Dictator to make the trains/services run on time.

    :lol: - true, although the parish in question does have very strong input from the laity. Well, it did, but maybe they need a bomb put under them...
  • I don't think one can really say that these days: it's a Prevention of Terrorism, Hate Speech, Elf n'Safety and Safeguarding issue all rolled into one (and may also need Listed Building Consent).
  • Not a headline as such, but an advert on our Diocesan website:

    [X] Team Ministry Team Reactor

    No doubt needed to build a *power-house of prayer*, or some such...

    To be fair, it's about as realistic an 'ask' as most adverts in the Church Times, most of which expect their new minister to be a cross between Jesus, the Archangel Gabriel and Superman, with a touch of Fascist Dictator to make the trains/services run on time.

    I did once - when a vicar was leaving - muse along the lines of putting together a little sketch where the Angel Gabriel applied for the position and was interviewed, but was generally considered not totally up for the role.
  • Well, clearly not - he'd have been far too "fly-by-night" to be considered, and you'd never know when or where he was going to show up.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    And since angels neither marry, nor are given in marriage, he would bring no unpaid helpmeet with him to smile sweetly, not complain, keep the perfect children polished so that they set a good example and to do all the work.

  • Conversely, his grasp of theology - derived from "insider information" - would be remarkable. But would he be able to start a sermon without saying, "Lo!" or "Behold!"

    Mind you, he'd be brilliant at giving out the Notices.
  • From our local online news:

    Passengers told not to travel during rail strikes

    Yes, well...
    :unamused:
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Point of order, m'lud! If they're not travelling, they are not passengers.

    The word "prospective" ought to have prefaced the sentence.

    BTW there actually will be some trains running ... so they say.
  • Point of order, m'lud! If they're not travelling, they are not passengers.

    The word "prospective" ought to have prefaced the sentence.

    BTW there actually will be some trains running ... so they say.

    Point sustained (but no-one expects much from local reportage these days...).

    On checking, I see that our local station may see a few trains on the HS1 service to St Pancras via Ebbsfleet International (which is still closed).
  • From our local online news:

    Passengers told not to travel during rail strikes

    Yes, well...
    :unamused:

    I read about a Japanese bus strike in which the bus drivers showed up, and drove the routes, but refused to collect fares.
  • mousethief wrote: »
    From our local online news:

    Passengers told not to travel during rail strikes

    Yes, well...
    :unamused:

    I read about a Japanese bus strike in which the bus drivers showed up, and drove the routes, but refused to collect fares.

    :lol:
  • I think something similar happened in London on Christmas Day, about 30 years ago. A limited service of trains ran, but no-one was willing to sell or check tickets. This was before the days of Oyster and contactless of course.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Truly, we are living in Looking-Glass England. From our local news outlet:

    Council told to refuse its solar panel plan for own HQ

    My italics.

    Apparently, putting solar panels on the 1970s structure would be *harmful* to the *historic building*...
    :grimace:

  • DoublethinkDoublethink Admin, 8th Day Host
    edited June 2022
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Truly, we are living in Looking-Glass England. From our local news outlet:

    Council told to refuse its solar panel plan for own HQ

    My italics.
    I am trying to understand. So Council was "told" (presumably by somebody else) to "refuse" its own plan? Not "abandon" its plan, or "revoke" its plan, or "change" its plan--it was told to "refuse" its own plan?
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    Presumably the plan was sent to a council planning committee for approval, they had sought further advice and were told to refuse it by a higher authority.
  • Something like that (I can't find the news item now), but I'm not sure exactly who the *higher authority* might have been - ours is a Unitary Authority, so not the county council...
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    From our local online news:

    Passengers told not to travel during rail strikes

    :unamused:

    Common sense advice. One might be able to get to one's destination but not get back again.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Or not even get there!
  • TelfordTelford Shipmate
    Wesley J wrote: »
    Or not even get there!

    quite.
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