Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    Of course they're ever-reliable - you can be sure that such strange headlines will appear frequently
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    From a clickbait ad rather than a headline:
    An increasingly popular too to fight anxiety
    Is the anxiety over making typos?

    I read this as "popular poo".

    I wonder what that says about you?

    That I have my head up my ass?
  • From BBC website: "Crocodile found under classroom goes on display". Strange things happen in the Rhondda!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Was it truanting, one wonders?
  • They obviously feel it should be punished by being put on display, presumably for public scorn and ridicule.

    I hope they make it snappy, so that the poor creature can get back to his/her lair.
  • Sadly it died.

    120 years ago.
  • BroJamesBroJames Purgatory Host
    <snip> I hope they make it snappy, so that the poor creature can get back to his/her lair.

    In that case, absent a miracle, its snappy days are long gone.
  • At the risk of prolonging a tangent, were Crocodiles common in the Rhondda in 1900 or thereabouts?

    Asking for a friend...
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    So @Baptist Trainfan there were crocodeiliaid in the crystal waters of the Rhondda before it was polluted by all that colliery waste?
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    BroJames wrote: »
    <snip> I hope they make it snappy, so that the poor creature can get back to his/her lair.

    In that case, absent a miracle, its snappy days are long gone.

    But it's snappy headline.
  • Enoch wrote: »
    So @Baptist Trainfan there were crocodeiliaid in the crystal waters of the Rhondda before it was polluted by all that colliery waste?

    Gives a new meaning to 'How Green was my Valley' - assuming that the crocodile was as verdant as the mountains!
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    The crocodiles we've see have all been a sort of dark grey-green tending to blackish.
  • Continuing this mildly whimsical tangent, I'm beginning to wonder if that which was found under the classroom was, in fact, the remains of a Dragon, rather than a Crocodile...

    Now, *Dragon Found Under Classroom etc.* would indeed be an eye-catching headline!
  • Sadly not: it was a real (if ossified) crocodile: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-60009983

    The dragons are (or were) down the road at Caerphilly: https://tinyurl.com/4fw4kykc
  • Well, well - it's all worth a laugh or a chuckle or two in these Interesting Times...
    :lol:
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    An honourable mention from a French language source: Franceinfo this morning with Le meeting immersif de Jean-Luc Mélenchon, qui veut la peau du PS et le retour de Donald Trump (The immersive meeting of Jean-Luc Mélenchon, who wants to go after the Socialist Party and the return of Donald Trump).

    I couldn't for the life of me figure out why a die-hard old leftwinger like Mélenchon would want Trump back. Turns out the second half is a completely different story.
  • The devil can turn up anywhere. I believe he simply wanted to deliver an apple for the teacher.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    We have Apples at one place. Things can go pearshaped.
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited January 2022
    The Return Of Donald Trump is the stuff of which nightmares are made.
    :scream: :scream: :scream:

    Pray gods (if gods there be) that it never happens...that would be a headline of utter horror...
  • "US police hunt monkeys missing after motorway crash" - BBC. Bet they (the monkeys) were driving uninsured and without licences.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Monkey business!

    (Must watch that film again, by the way...!)
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Lithuania fumbles with transport Belarusian fertilisers after US sanctions

    Fairly muddled, I'd say. From here.
  • Their translation (as I suspect) from Lithuanian to English is better than Professor G Oogle's would be...
  • A gruesome piece of bizarrerie from the Irish Times:

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/22/two-men-take-corpse-into-irish-post-office-to-claim-dead-mans-pension

    The headline is weird, but also factually true...
    :scream:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Good grief! This reminds me of the film Waking Ned!
  • Time to re-read Spike Milligan's Puckoon.
  • A sign seen at the hospital today: "This seating area is designated for patient use only".

    No good if you're in a hurry, then.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    It refreshes my memory with @Firenze's wonderful post in the thread "Red Letter Ay", film titles with a letter missing.
    "The Remains of the Da

    Follow Padraig as he pushes a handcart laden with his father’s coffin across the bleak bogs of Connemara towards the lonely burial ground of Killbalnashreeoughter. In the rain."

    It would add an extra existential quality if, on his epic journey, Padraig were to meet and perhaps travel a while with these three figures before parting with them so that they can go into the post office and he can continue his journey. Few words would be exchanged. After all, one of them would not say anything at all.

    And, all still in the rain.

  • The Irish Post Office scenario did rather sound like a play by Samuel Beckett, but @Enoch's suggestion sounds even better...

    Especially in the rain.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    From Birmingham Live, via Google feed:
    Prince William rules out baby number 4 with Kate Middleton.
    It rather begs the question - who is he planning to have it with?
  • :flushed:

    Is possibly Outrage!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    From BBC Facebook today,
    "UK knob-throwing festival axed over size issues"
    Apparently, the 'knobs' in this case are neither on doors, nor anatomical but are a local cross between a bun and a biscuit.
  • From "Wales Online": Welsh diver killed when he slipped on rocks named by police. Very tragic, but does it really matter who named the rocks?
  • The imaginations of police never cease to amaze:

    Police shoot man with knife

    I guess their guns were in the shop.
  • Amazing!
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Dear God. I was thinking of circus knife-throwing artists turned police officers!
  • Although we know what it's really about this headline from the BBC Wales website is amusing: "'I wear two dressing gowns due to inflation'".
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    It's an inflation of dressing gowns!
  • 'I wear two dressing gowns due to inflation'"...and only burn 2 pieces of coal at a time.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    From the website for Premier Radio yesterday:-
    @ iamterron @ PremierGospel Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt. 4 hours ago

  • On the NewsNet TV channel headline crawl:

    Brad Pitt sues former wife Angelina Jolie over sale of vineyard bought when they were married to Russian oligarch

    Kinky!
  • One does have to question the legality (not to mention the wisdom) of such marital arrangements.
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    From the Daily Mail:

    Asteroid half the size of a giraffe strikes Earth off the coast of Iceland

    "Half the size of a giraffe"? That was the closest they could get for a comparison?:

    "Hey, Barney, look at this asteroid!"

    "Gosh, that looks about half the size of a giraffe!"

    "That's what I was thinking too!"
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    The question remains: Which part? The head and neck or the rest of the body? That's not clear at all and it could make all the difference!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    It's from the Daily Fail, so it's probably not true anyway ... :naughty:
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Wesley J wrote: »
    The question remains: Which part? The head and neck or the rest of the body? That's not clear at all and it could make all the difference!

    That puzzles me, too. Are they talking half the height? Half the weight? Under either measure, they probably could have gone with "about the size of a male Bactrian camel"....


  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited March 2022
    ... as seen from above!
  • Hedgehog wrote: »
    From the Daily Mail:

    Asteroid half the size of a giraffe strikes Earth off the coast of Iceland

    "Half the size of a giraffe"? That was the closest they could get for a comparison?:

    "Hey, Barney, look at this asteroid!"

    "Gosh, that looks about half the size of a giraffe!"

    "That's what I was thinking too!"

    And people make fun of Americans for measuring in football fields.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    In the UK it's usually double decker buses.
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