Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • Wesley J wrote: »
    Gee D wrote: »
    And there are many more vegans walking around city and suburban streets, catching pubic transport, and going to supermarkets etc than there are cows.

    That's because cows are already there, in the fridges and freezers.

    ETA: BTW, are you sure about 'pubic' transport?

    Ooops!

  • Anyway, I doubt that many cows travel by bus.
  • From BBC website: "Fauci says Oxford jab likely fine for US travel".

    OK, I know it's ellipsis ... but to me this sounds much more like a US headline than a British one.
  • Anyway, I doubt that many cows travel by bus.

    Being sensible, they're usually on trains. Otherwise, too many fights to see who gets the front seats upstairs on a bus.
  • Gee D wrote: »
    Anyway, I doubt that many cows travel by bus.

    Being sensible, they're usually on trains. Otherwise, too many fights to see who gets the front seats upstairs on a bus.

    And they'd no longer be allowed to smoke upstairs the way they used to.
  • Gee D wrote: »
    Anyway, I doubt that many cows travel by bus.

    Being sensible, they're usually on trains. Otherwise, too many fights to see who gets the front seats upstairs on a bus.

    And they'd no longer be allowed to smoke upstairs the way they used to.

    Ah, I love smoked cow. Brisket if I can get it.
  • Have not had smoked brisket for years. It seems to have disappeared from the shops.
  • And clearly, you have identified the reason - cows no longer going on buses.
  • It's a Health & Safety issue.
  • O! What can we do to make our buses once again safe for our bovine food friends?
  • I think, since we are discussing bovine identity, that we really need to let the cows speak here and not just their allies.
  • One thing leads to another... Looking for a source to respond to Lamb Chopped, this headline appeared, Scaled-down bull sales to proceed in person. (https://www.beefmagazine.com/livestock/scaled-down-bull-sales-proceed-person). I didn't know you could get scaled down bulls.
  • Is a scaled-down bull a bullet?

    It can't be a bullette as that would make it feminine, which as everybody knows is contrary to the nature of a bull.

  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    [...] I didn't know you could get scaled down bulls.

    That's so that they can fit onto buses.
  • I think, since we are discussing bovine identity, that we really need to let the cows speak here and not just their allies.

    Are you saying we're just posting a lot of bull?
  • I thought a miniature bull was when the Pope had something to say officially, but not much.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    I wish I could find the article I saw, but didn't fully read this week about toilet training cows. As many of you will know NZ produces a lot of dairy products and toilet training the cows, which the writers claimed was possible to do, was to cut down on the pollution they cause.
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    So not only can you not get a seat upstairs on the bus for the cows, but there'll be an even longer queue for the Ladies on account of this herd of Friesians.
  • Most buses don't have toilets ...
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    But cinemas do. Just think of The 39 Pats, Brief Encownter, Fry Day the 13th; and theatres as well: Anthony and Cowpatra, Gentle Bulls of Verona; or musical theatres: Jersey Bulls, or After The Bull, by Noel Cow-Art.

    Cows like culture too!
  • Firenze wrote: »
    So not only can you not get a seat upstairs on the bus for the cows, but there'll be an even longer queue for the Ladies on account of this herd of Friesians.

    Ah but do they leave the seat up?
  • The only folding seats on our buses are in the wheelchair/buggy area.
  • mousethief wrote: »
    Firenze wrote: »
    So not only can you not get a seat upstairs on the bus for the cows, but there'll be an even longer queue for the Ladies on account of this herd of Friesians.

    Ah but do they leave the seat up?

    More importantly, do the women put the seat back up when they've finished?
  • Gee D wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »
    Firenze wrote: »
    So not only can you not get a seat upstairs on the bus for the cows, but there'll be an even longer queue for the Ladies on account of this herd of Friesians.

    Ah but do they leave the seat up?

    More importantly, do the women put the seat back up when they've finished?

    I've never quite understood the whole controversy. Want the seat up? Put it up. Want the seat down? Put it down. Seems pretty obvious.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    edited September 2021
    mousethief wrote: »
    Gee D wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »
    Firenze wrote: »
    So not only can you not get a seat upstairs on the bus for the cows, but there'll be an even longer queue for the Ladies on account of this herd of Friesians.

    Ah but do they leave the seat up?

    More importantly, do the women put the seat back up when they've finished?

    I've never quite understood the whole controversy. Want the seat up? Put it up. Want the seat down? Put it down. Seems pretty obvious.

    The complaint usually comes from those who want it lowered. I've decided to start a campaign to have it left raised.
  • Gee D wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »
    Gee D wrote: »
    mousethief wrote: »
    Firenze wrote: »
    So not only can you not get a seat upstairs on the bus for the cows, but there'll be an even longer queue for the Ladies on account of this herd of Friesians.

    Ah but do they leave the seat up?

    More importantly, do the women put the seat back up when they've finished?

    I've never quite understood the whole controversy. Want the seat up? Put it up. Want the seat down? Put it down. Seems pretty obvious.

    The complaint usually comes from those who want it lowered. I've decided to start a campaign to have it left raised.

    Oh I know where the complaint comes from. I just don't see the validity of it. Especially when it is made into a moral issue.
  • Neither do I, but it is such an issue for many who want it left lowered.
  • Since, when we go to the toilet during the night (As One Does) we don't put on the light, it's imperative (for both of us) for the seat to be left down.

    However this has nothing to do with either cows or buses ...
  • Point taken - but as a last aside, there are loos non long-distance buses.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    **AHEM**

    Anyone got any weird headlines or amusing signposts? ;)
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited September 2021
    Yes. Hornby - the model trains people - have just announced the addition of a "Tin Tabernacle" to their range. According to the blog on their website, it will "add an air of theological authenticity to a layout" which I thought was rather good!

    See https://tinyurl.com/dkrpd5m5
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    It certainly adds architectural authenticity; it looks exactly like a Tin Tabernacle that David showed me once.

    My weird offering isn’t a headline, but an amusingly appropriate name: the gentleman who was reporting for the BBC on the petrol shortage and panic buying was called Phil McCann.

    Were they taking the mickey?
  • KarlLBKarlLB Shipmate
    edited September 2021
    Since, when we go to the toilet during the night (As One Does) we don't put on the light, it's imperative (for both of us) for the seat to be left down.

    However this has nothing to do with either cows or buses ...

    Why? If you need a wee you'll need to lift it up. Surely the imperative is that you know which way it should be.

    3 out of the 5 members of our household are equipped with a winky and I've calculated that bar food poisoning or other upset, it's statistically more likely than not that the next user will need the seat up.
  • If you don't turn the light on, you ain't going to pee standing up. Not if you like a dry floor.
  • Piglet wrote: »
    My weird offering isn’t a headline, but an amusingly appropriate name: the gentleman who was reporting for the BBC on the petrol shortage and panic buying was called Phil McCann.

    Were they taking the mickey?
    I saw this and assumed that he had been sent on purpose :)
  • I think Mousethief and KarlLB are on the wrong thread ...
  • We weren't

    Something very odd seems to have happened with the Bog Seats move from Purg to Heaven
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    People who ‘can’t fit into jeans they wore aged 21’ risk developing diabetes
    From the Grauniad.

    What if they've chucked them out long ago? How will they know they're at risk then? Also, what if jeans shrinkage occurs e.g. through washing? - It is a real thing, depending on brand and make (I speak from experience!).
  • Yes, I saw that.

    I am Doomed...
    :grimace:
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Not a snowball's chance in hell for me! :blush:
  • I was chuckling about that headline with the guy in charge of youthwork this afternoon. We can both get into the same size clothes as we did at 21 (currently, my weight has been up and down again in the meantime).
  • Wesley J wrote: »
    People who ‘can’t fit into jeans they wore aged 21’ risk developing diabetes
    From the Grauniad.

    What if they've chucked them out long ago? How will they know they're at risk then? Also, what if jeans shrinkage occurs e.g. through washing? - It is a real thing, depending on brand and make (I speak from experience!).

    We shall be charitable and accept that is the washing that makes it hard for you to get them on.
  • Oh dear! In an advertisement for firepits:

    "This designer Patriot Wood Burning Fire Bowel is handcrafted in the heart of America, making it one-of-a-kind. ..."
  • Usually my bowels only burn if I eat really hot Mexican food.
  • Honestly, I'm a bit concerned about the patriot burning bit. Is the patriot the burner, or the burnee? And are we talking the Jan 6 sort of "patriots"?
  • (Forgot to mention--just above it there was an entry for "Asian Wood Burning Bowl, crafted with pride in America.)
  • This article might be relevant in a discussion about fiery bowels: https://tinyurl.com/sb8fvn5c
  • FirenzeFirenze Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    I'm reminded of a packet of high-fibre foodstuff, pomegranate flavour. This being Canada, the French side announced 'Bowel Buddy Grenade'.

    Aka the short way with constipation.
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