Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    The BBC headline about the ancient pregnant tortoise found in Pompeii is in itself interesting but even better is the subtitle ‘The reptile’s 2000 year old remains are discovered by archaeologists buried in volcanic ash and rock’.
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    From our local online news:

    Passengers told not to travel during rail strikes

    Yes, well...
    :unamused:

    But they're not rail passengers until they're travelling on a train. And of course potential rail travellers could always travel by car or bus and still be passengers. A horribly confused piece of news.
  • Gee D wrote: »
    From our local online news:

    Passengers told not to travel during rail strikes

    Yes, well...
    :unamused:

    But they're not rail passengers until they're travelling on a train. And of course potential rail travellers could always travel by car or bus and still be passengers. A horribly confused piece of news.

    Exactly...
    :unamused:

    If they'd said *Intending passengers told not to attempt to travel during rail strikes* that would have made more sense, but there are too many words...
  • At least they didn't say "commuters".
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited June 2022
    :lol:

    /tangent alert/

    Where did the word *commuter* come from, and when? Those of us who travelled daily to work by Train, in the days when Trains had Slam-Doors, Compartments, and proper Seats, were known as *Season Ticket Holders*.
  • I believe it's originally an American term, for habitual travellers who "commuted" the full daily rate by buying a season ticket. Apparently it goes right back to the mid-1800s but I don't recall hearing it used in Britain until relatively recently.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    edited July 2022
    This thread has been quiet for over a fortnight, but I can't resist posting a headline today from the Guardian. It's for an article by Michael Rosen.
    "Covid killed so many of us – now the UK government fears our tears and rage"

    Except that outside the realm of superstitious metaphysics, the government has nothing to fear from those whom Covid killed. It's those that it didn't whose tears and rage the government needs to fear.


    It's a good and moving article, by the way.

  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited July 2022
    Indeed - I read it earlier today (and take @Enoch 's point):

    Not sure if it might be behind a paywall, but yur tiz:

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jul/16/covid-deaths-virus-200000-britain-trauma-loss
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited July 2022
    Bless it, the Grauniad doesn't have paywalls. That is indeed a very good article; those of you on Farcebark ought to check out Mr. Rosen's letters "from" our soon-to-be-former Prime Minister - they're hilarious.
  • From today's Grauniad:

    Suspected Fabergé egg found on Russian oligarch’s superyacht

    Of what heinous offence or crime against humanity is poor Mr Egg suspected? Or is purely his association with a Russian oligarch which is suspect?
  • Presumably the suspicion centres on whether the egg is genuine or fake.

    We need "The Antiques Roadshow" experts!
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    The test might be whether if he, or the police, keep it coddled in warm cotton wool, will it hatch?
  • From the "Independent": D-Day pilot reveals secret to long life after celebrating 102nd birthday.

    Surely the secret to a long life is not dying?
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    It may be apocryphal or just my memory playing tricks on me (or both), but I seem to recall a centenarian giving the response of "Not dying" in answer to the question as to what he (or she) attributed his (or her) long life to.
  • There was the lady in France who, at the age of about 112, attributed her long life to giving up smoking when she was 97 (or something...).
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I remember hearing of an old lady who took up smoking at the age of 90, on the basis that she'd had a good innings and if she enjoyed it, it wouldn't really matter if it killed her!
  • I love the smell of a decent cigar and if I reach 90 I plan to do the same!
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    From NBC Philadelphia this morning:

    Man Dies After Being Strangled by Snake That Police Shot Dead

    Ummmmmmmm, oooooooooooooooo-kay.
  • Very cunning, those dead snakes.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    May I opt out of hosting this conversation?

    <snakes ... shudder> :fearful:
  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited July 2022
    From the BBC News website: "Man fleeing Wiltshire crash scene attacked by emus".

    BTW a reporter on the BBC lunchtime TV news accused Sunak and Truss of "mud-slinging". Doesn't sound a responsible use of water in the current drought.
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    From the BBC News website: "Man fleeing Wiltshire crash scene attacked by emus".
    That's apparently a true story. The emus appeared on our local television news last night.

    It happened in Malmesbury, which means that even if you didn't see the film click, you can know that the emus must have been flightless birds rather than Electric Multiple Units.

  • Baptist TrainfanBaptist Trainfan Shipmate
    edited July 2022
    The latter thought had (as you might have guessed) crossed my mind. However, had the accident occurred a few miles away at Little Somerford ...
  • HedgehogHedgehog Shipmate
    Enoch wrote: »
    From the BBC News website: "Man fleeing Wiltshire crash scene attacked by emus".
    That's apparently a true story. The emus appeared on our local television news last night.
    Were they interviewed with hard-hitting questions, or was it more of a puff piece?

  • Enoch wrote: »
    From the BBC News website: "Man fleeing Wiltshire crash scene attacked by emus".
    That's apparently a true story. The emus appeared on our local television news last night.

    It happened in Malmesbury, which means that even if you didn't see the film click, you can know that the emus must have been flightless birds rather than Electric Multiple Units.

    Rod Hull would have been proud.
  • And in this town, podner, emus are the law.
  • Unlike in Llandudno, where it's goats who rule the roost: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61867126
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Emu: A six-foot feather duster with suicidal tendencies. (Ross Noble, on encounters while riding a motorbike) :)
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    From the BBC News website: "Man fleeing Wiltshire crash scene attacked by emus". [...]

    What a shock! They must have got quite emu-tional.
  • No, they just heard about Emmanuel-don't-do-it Todd Lopez and were fired with a spirit of emu lation.
  • I don't really know where to start with this one - the mis-spellings continue through the article, and it's really rather dubious.

    https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/20589020.beautiful-floral-crotchet-mysteriously-appears-bicester/
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    I think Ms. Harland might consider either getting a new spell-checker or firing her proof reader.

    It wouldn't have taken much Googling for her to find out it's called "yarn-bombing". How on earth did she get to be a "senior multimedia reporter???

    Hats off to the "crotchers" though - what a pretty thing!
  • From "Wales Online": The drag queen who followed his childhood dream to become a bus driver. Somehow one feels that should be the other way round!
  • Piglet wrote: »
    I think Ms. Harland might consider either getting a new spell-checker or firing her proof reader.

    It wouldn't have taken much Googling for her to find out it's called "yarn-bombing". How on earth did she get to be a "senior multimedia reporter???

    Or that it is quite common, nad has been for a few years. Worth repoting on because it is beautiful, but not like it is a new phenomenon.

  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Absolutely!
  • From BBC website: Escaped giant tortoise on track halts trains.

    Strange things happen in Norfolk.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    More on the story here:
    Swallow Aquatics in East Harling said the tortoise, Clyde, had gone missing on Sunday and had now been taken to a vets, as it was hit by a train.
    They had to swallow hard when they heard of his escape, and quickly checked whether his mate, Bonnie, was still there, which she was?
  • Perhaps Clyde is at Glastonbury. As they say there to tourists, "The Tor? 'Tis over there."
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited August 2022
    And a reader's comment about this in The Independent:
    Surely this could have been reported in a more positive way? “Anglian train beats tortoise for speed”.
    :D
  • In Norfolk they "do different".
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited August 2022
    I remember David (possibly apocryphally) quoting a teacher in rural Norfolk who had an acronym that she put on children's report cards - NFN, which stood for Normal For Norfolk.
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited August 2022
    NFN was known for being in Doctors notes but the habit rapidly stopped when patients gained access to their medical records. I am also familiar with several other acronyms in medicine which are still used verbally these days.
  • In Norfolk they "do different".

    Excuse me, that is only if they graduate from the finest university in East Anglia.
    Piglet wrote: »
    I remember David (possibly apocryphally) quoting a teacher in rural Norfolk who had an acronym that she put on children's report cards - NFN, which stood for Normal For Norfolk.

    I was doing the briefing for Greenbelt volunteering last time, and one thing they said was "If you see anything unusual .. unusual for Greenbelt that is." Having been to another festival recently, there is "Normal" and "Festival Normal" and "Greenbelt Normal" (and "Bluedot normal")
  • Not yet in the Daily Wail but I'm sure it will be soon...

    Activists call for renaming of Pork Pie Roundabout in Leicester

    Details here
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    Two oddities from the Guardian on line today. Both are quite interesting stories, but the first headline was so weird that I followed the link simply out of curiosity as to what on earth the story might be about and what the relevance might be to dangerous penguins apparently wielding knives.
    Penguin cuts off Meal Prep King cook after misogynistic rant,
    and
    Hail Mary! Statue’s trip down the Wye raises chicken pollution issue.

    Not sure the grammar of the sentence about the monks at Belmont Abbey is theologically quite correct!

  • From today's "i" - took me some time to work out what it meant: "Tax flight fuel to freeze rail fares call”.
  • I saw 'Schrodinger's galaxy found'. I didn't know our Shipmate had lost his galaxy.
  • Merry Vole wrote: »
    I saw 'Schrodinger's galaxy found'. I didn't know our Shipmate had lost his galaxy.

    Oh THAT is where it got to.
  • I rather liked this offering from the BBC:

    "Mystery of half-billion year old creature with no anus solved"

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-62580967
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