Headlines of Utter Weirdness

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  • I'm assuming you really want to know the answer: the 8 trains on order didn't quite come in on time, but near enough not to cause a major problem. (Nope, I didn't know but I asked a railway engineer.)

    Apparently, this guy, Geoff Marshall (link to YouTube) has a vlog on it, the one I've linked to is the last Pacer ride ever in May 2021, on the Welsh lines. All the railway geekery anyone could possibly want.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Noooo, now you've reminded me of Mr Marshall and his train adventures and his and his lady's All The Stations, which I followed avidly. Damn. There goes my free time. I need to catch up!
  • Yes, you what have thought it was possible to have an exact number - I mean, there are still fingers to spare with the counting.

    On a nerdy point, I'm not sure if said trains have been "launched" - they are rebuilds of much older trains (and I've travelled in them in both their old and new guises). So perhaps "released from dry dock" would have been a better phrase!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    edited August 2021
    I love the acronym for the Fast Light Intercity and Regional Trains - FLIRTs.

    It just seems so ... un-train-spotterish ...
  • The same manufacturer also builds trains called KISS ("Komfortabler Innovativer Spurtstarker S-Bahn-Zug" or "comfortable, innovative, sprint-capable suburban train") and WINK ("Wandelbarer Innovativer Nahverkehrs-Kurzzug" or "convertible, innovative short train for local transport").
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I think they're just making up funny acronyms, and then unfortunately have to crowbar in what these are supposed to mean. :D
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    The same manufacturer also builds trains called KISS ("Komfortabler Innovativer Spurtstarker S-Bahn-Zug" or "comfortable, innovative, sprint-capable suburban train") and WINK ("Wandelbarer Innovativer Nahverkehrs-Kurzzug" or "convertible, innovative short train for local transport").

    No WANKing?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    GEE D!!!!! :open_mouth: I'm quite shocked!

    <reaches for the smelling-salts>
  • Gee DGee D Shipmate
    The devil tempted me and my fingers hit the keys.....
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    :mrgreen: :naughty: :mrgreen:
  • The Philadelphia Inquirer's Editorial Board have gone back to using the classics!

    In Philly, someone has been shot every day since Jan. 2

    I'd sure hate to be that guy!
  • A classic from the Oxford Mail today:
    Rapper who had heroin and crack between his buttocks found not guilty of dealing

    I'm not sure why the heroin is relevant to his bum cleft.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    That made me laugh far more than it should have done. :blush:
  • EnochEnoch Shipmate
    A classic from the Oxford Mail today:
    Rapper who had heroin and crack between his buttocks found not guilty of dealing

    I'm not sure why the heroin is relevant to his bum cleft.
    If I'd been asked to defend him, I think I'd have argued "You can hardly believe my client had either been selling the stuff or able to persuade anyone to buy it if that's where it had been".
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    In doing so, if a woman, you could be a true heroine!
  • https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/father-of-marine-killed-in-kabul-blast-says-meeting-with-biden-didn-t-go-well
    [ A bad thing, no matter which was killed; I read it, 'the father was killed'
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    This wasn't a headline, but as an amusing juxtaposition, I think it maybe fits here.

    @BroJames posted a link in AS to website selling Aberdeen butteries, and the first page went something like this:
    BUTTERIES

    This website uses cookies.

    Why don't they just use the butteries? :mrgreen:
  • Bishops FingerBishops Finger Shipmate
    edited September 2021
    Because the butteries aren't buttery enough, so they have to use cookies as well?
  • "Independent": Nasa to drill into Mars again in search of life – after Perseverance rover’s first rock sample strangely disappeared.

    So: can spacecraft put things down and forget where they've put them? Or ...?
  • Remote work lifts demand in Japan for bigger residences.

    On first and second readings I couldn’t figure out how this wasn’t a very strange story about freight elevators wanting bigger homes.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    You can sort of imagine a load of fork-lifts going on strike ... :mrgreen:
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    Clearly, they want their employers to fork out more. Who then may try to say, fork off. - Good luck!
  • The Railway Gazette tells us this morning that the Railway to Hell to be electrified, https://www.railwaygazette.com/infrastructure/railway-to-hell-to-be-electrified/59836.article? Probably a good thing. It was a cold day in Hell when I was last there in 1969.
  • Which raises the question, how does one attach a pantograph to a handbasket?
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    The Railway Gazette tells us this morning that the Railway to Hell to be electrified ...
    I knew without even opening the link that that story would be about Norway.

    I have fond memories of a choir tour of western Norway which included stretches of road with signposts for Hell on them. :heart:
  • Piglet wrote: »
    The Railway Gazette tells us this morning that the Railway to Hell to be electrified ...
    I knew without even opening the link that that story would be about Norway.

    I have fond memories of a choir tour of western Norway which included stretches of road with signposts for Hell on them. :heart:

    Was the road paved with good intentions?
  • Coming up in the MSN feed on the front page of my browser "Queen will reportedly spit time between Windsor and Buckingham Palace". It's a typo from the Mail Online, but one does wonder if she has secret knowledge of time travel denied to mere commoners?
  • Piglet wrote: »
    The Railway Gazette tells us this morning that the Railway to Hell to be electrified ...
    I knew without even opening the link that that story would be about Norway.

    I have fond memories of a choir tour of western Norway which included stretches of road with signposts for Hell on them. :heart:

    I suspect that the station nameboard features on as many selfies as a certain one in Anglesey. (However the Norwegian one is much easier to fit into the picture).
  • Piglet wrote: »
    The Railway Gazette tells us this morning that the Railway to Hell to be electrified ...
    I knew without even opening the link that that story would be about Norway.

    I have fond memories of a choir tour of western Norway which included stretches of road with signposts for Hell on them. :heart:

    Was the road paved with good intentions?

    A Russian proverb has it that the road to Hell is paved with priests' bones, and the lampposts are bishops' skulls.
  • Coming up in the MSN feed on the front page of my browser "Queen will reportedly spit time between Windsor and Buckingham Palace". It's a typo from the Mail Online, but one does wonder if she has secret knowledge of time travel denied to mere commoners?

    So THAT is where time comes from.
  • It's not so much the headline, which is Always Wear Underwear but the clipped story that goes with it (link to Twitter). It is laugh out loud funny and possibly NSFW (not safe for work)
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Thank you, Curiosity - that made me totally laugh out loud! :mrgreen:
  • @Curiosity killed Thank you so much for that! I'm having A Very Bad Day and it has helped enormously.
  • My Dear Wife can't stop laughing. It reminds her so much of all my years of masochistic car repairing (now ended). The deadpan delivery of the last sentence was beautiful, leaving the clear image - and the pain - in the mind of the reader.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    I'm wondering if this is not a story that has been around for a while, in various guises. It seems very familiar to me...! :neutral:
  • HeavenlyannieHeavenlyannie Shipmate
    edited September 2021
    It is a story familiar to me too, though still funny.
  • Curiosity killedCuriosity killed Shipmate
    edited September 2021
    @Wesley J It was new to me and Snopes doesn't recognise it, from a quick check. @TheOrganist I'm glad it gave you a good laugh when you needed it.
  • well, it might be true but old.
  • Apparently it's true and that sort of thing happens fairly often, hence no debunking.
  • According to the Washington Post this morning, Why the French are so furious... ...over a derailed submarine deal. At first glance the image of a novel approach to naval warfare was quite enjoyable.
  • Presumably the submarines had also been shot down in flames.
  • Church newsletter I shall not name: Member offering "fairly priced" transport to stores, doctor appointments, light cooking, raking leaves, sow shoveling....
    That's where I quit- was having laughing fit.
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    I've been reading New Scientist online and found a list of headlines Two consecutive ones were:

    UN says global carbon emissions set to rise by 16%by 2030.

    Followed by:

    Men fart more when eating a plant-based diet due to good gut bacteria.
  • Good gut bacteria make you fart? Tailpipe emissions are a sign of incomplete combustion.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    So it's not farting cows to blame, but farting vegans? :mrgreen:
  • Piglet wrote: »
    So it's not farting cows to blame, but farting vegans? :mrgreen:
    They're both on a similar diet.

  • And there are many more vegans walking around city and suburban streets, catching pubic transport, and going to supermarkets etc than there are cows.
  • But vegans aren't ruminants.
  • Wesley JWesley J Circus Host
    edited September 2021
    Gee D wrote: »
    And there are many more vegans walking around city and suburban streets, catching pubic transport, and going to supermarkets etc than there are cows.

    That's because cows are already there, in the fridges and freezers.

    ETA: BTW, are you sure about 'pubic' transport?
    But vegans aren't ruminants.

    I think they are ruminating quite often, and rather loudly. If they can muster the energy. (Classic comedy line. :) )
  • Gee D wrote: »
    And there are many more vegans walking around city and suburban streets, catching pubic transport, and going to supermarkets etc than there are cows.

    in Mumbai?
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