Cancer SUCKS

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  • Robert ArminRobert Armin Shipmate, Glory
    Candles
  • Holding @Rossweisse in prayer, with @Sarasa's brother and other shippies.
  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    So sorry, Ross. So grieved for all who post their miseries here.
  • ((Ross))
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    I'm waiting to hear from the research oncologist. I kind of thought he'd be on this already, since the radiation oncologist said he was going to consult with the research chappie. Maybe they're looking into other possibilities?
  • PatdysPatdys Shipmate
    edited October 2019
    'The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. The great physician understands the patient and the context of that patient's illness' ~Sir William Osler

    I continue to read and pray
  • Me too!
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    Me three!
    Praying for everyone here. <votive>
  • Oh Ross ... deep sighs coming from here.

    Praying for everyone here.
  • Reading and praying. 🕯
  • GalilitGalilit Shipmate
    edited October 2019
    Rossweisse wrote: »
    I'm waiting to hear from the research oncologist.

    Well, he probably has to keep abreast (see wot I did there) of all his subjects (see that too) ...might take a while - weekend and everything.
    Can you contact him direct at all?

    Must be frustrating and nerve-wracking wot with it being about your one and only brain and everything. Are you noticing any cognitive decline or headaches?
  • PatdysPatdys Shipmate
    Other than that you are due from being a Hellhost?...
  • That doesn't register on the "machines that go "ping" or the set-test questions they ask eg "Who is the Prime Minister?"
  • Praying for you all
    ((Ross))
  • Robert ArminRobert Armin Shipmate, Glory
    Candles for all,

    and CANDLES for Ross!
  • Prayers for all.
  • Yes, lots of SHOUTY CANDLES!
    :wink:

    They reach the parts other candles don't...
  • Candles from me, too.
  • Nick TamenNick Tamen Shipmate
    edited October 2019
    And me.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    And me!
  • I don't generally post about losing friends to cancer - too many now; too personal. However... our minister could not be bothered to let his elders know that one of our number had died recently, so a friend who saw the notice in the paper e-mailed me in Scotland last week. The friend who died had had oesophagal cancer, the more cruel for him being a fine baritone, but he'd been told a few months ago that the cancer was no longer visible following vicious chemical warfare. Of course, that was the cue for people start celebrating a miracle - Jim is cured! Why the hell do they not get it? If a cancer is cured completely - highly unlikely anyway - it takes a long time to be able to say cautiously that it may have happened. I go with the 'NED' approach - No Evidence of Disease - and tread very carefully thereafter. That's where I am, after all. But a few weeks ago he was told that it had reappeared in a different place, and he could expect 6-9 months; a bit more if he would take the chemo. He lasted two more weeks and had a peaceful end to it. I got my tears and raging over and done with three thousand miles away, and just as well. In a couple of weeks we're going to see him off with the biggest musical blast the church has seen for many years.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    {{{ @Stercus Tauri }}}

    Today I went ahead and left a message for the Research Oncologist, who, in the fullness of time, called me back. He said that he had been in communication with the Radiation Oncologist and with some of his own colleagues, and that he and said colleagues felt that irradiation was not the right answer at this time, and that they would do better to keep an eye on my brain and the dura mater.

    That was the correct answer.

    The Farewell Tour continued this past weekend, with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece in from Alaska for a couple of days. We had a good visit, and I passed along some things to them to take home (better than leaving them to them).

    One of the things was my mother's set of wedding/engagement/anniversary rings, which I have been wearing since her death. I knew that the Mater wanted my niece to have them eventually, so I explained, took them from my right ring finger, and handed them to my niece, who put them on hers. It was a pretty emotional moment. I will miss them, but I have done the right thing, and I know that she appreciates them.
  • {{{{ Rossweisse & Stercus Tauri }}}}

    🕯 🕯 🕯

  • Rossweisse - I think you are the coolest and bravest person I know. Perhaps, in your spare time, you could write the manual on how to do this damn thing right.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    @Stercus Tauri, I suspect that we each have to find our own way through. But I thank you.
  • MaryLouiseMaryLouise Shipmate, Host Emeritus
    Rossweisse, what Stercus Tauri said.
  • Robert ArminRobert Armin Shipmate, Glory
    Yes, ST has nailed it.
  • Rossweisse, as the daily wearer and keeper of the family rings, I salute you for choosing such a moment. Did you take photos of them on her? Might make a nice memory to actually print one out and tuck it up somewhere you can see it.
  • DooneDoone Shipmate
    Oh Rossweisse, so sad but beautiful too.
  • OhherOhher Shipmate
    There's a great Yiddish word for Ross: she's a mensch.
  • NenyaNenya All Saints Host, Ecclesiantics & MW Host
    Rossweisse - I think you are the coolest and bravest person I know. Perhaps, in your spare time, you could write the manual on how to do this damn thing right.

    Yes indeed. {{{Ross}}} I don't know whether to smile or cry.

    Rings are such personal items of jewellery; more so than any other, I think, although I'm not sure why.
  • jedijudyjedijudy Heaven Host
    @Rossweisse, what a sweet way to pass on your Mother's rings! A memory for all of you to treasure! <3

    My Daddy-O is having CT and PET scans on Friday to determine if the large, fast growing melanoma we recently found has spread.

    I was feeling pretty awful that I hadn't noticed it before, but the oncologist surgeon told me yesterday that the cancer cells are doubling every day, and no wonder we hadn't seen it sooner.
  • Possibly because they are (by definition) worn so close to the actual, physical, person? And are so often seen, during that person's life?

    I don't know, but one of my most prized possessions is the simple gold ring My Old Dad left to me, and which I wear all the time on my right hand.

    I also still own My Old Mum's rings, which were given to me after she died (I can't exactly wear them - they're too small, and, in any case, they had to be cut off her dead hands....).
  • AmosAmos Shipmate
    Fuck cancer.
    Prayers ascending from the pit for Ross, Stercus Tauri, and others.
  • RooKRooK Shipmate
    Rossweisse wrote: »
    One of the things was my mother's set of wedding/engagement/anniversary rings, which I have been wearing since her death. I knew that the Mater wanted my niece to have them eventually, so I explained, took them from my right ring finger, and handed them to my niece, who put them on hers. It was a pretty emotional moment. I will miss them, but I have done the right thing, and I know that she appreciates them.

    Well, fuck. NOW I have to explain to everybody in my open office why I'm openly weeping while at my standing desk, and try to explain to them the quixotic admiration I'm cherishing for a person I've never met in person.
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    {{{Ross and ST}}}

    What a lovely thing to do with the rings! :heart: :cry:

    The day after D's funeral, my watch stopped; it's over 20 years old and had just had a new battery, so I suspect it's something more permanent or fundamental. My sister suggested that I wear D's watch, and although it's a bit big and masculine that's what I've been doing.
  • Nenya wrote: »
    Rings are such personal items of jewellery; more so than any other, I think, although I'm not sure why.
    I think it's supposed to be because of the belief that a vein in the "ring finger" ran directly to the heart. They play such an important role in so many plays (e.g., Shakespeare 's many uses of them), the Lord of the Rings, etc. -- and, of course, Rossweisse's and my favorite opera cycle. Well done, Rossweisse!
    :heart:


  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    Lily Pad wrote: »
    Rossweisse, as the daily wearer and keeper of the family rings, I salute you for choosing such a moment. Did you take photos of them on her? Might make a nice memory to actually print one out and tuck it up somewhere you can see it.
    No, I didn't think of it. But I have very clear memories of them, and of seeing them on her finger.

    (My future trustee and his wife approved of my handing over various items - not because it will make their lives easier when the inevitable occurs, which it will, but because they thought it a good way to do it, that I could see the heirlooms (and one rather nice little suitcase) received.)

    {{{JJ and dad}}} You are in my prayers!

  • jedijudy wrote: »
    @Rossweisse, what a sweet way to pass on your Mother's rings! A memory for all of you to treasure! <3

    My Daddy-O is having CT and PET scans on Friday to determine if the large, fast growing melanoma we recently found has spread.

    I was feeling pretty awful that I hadn't noticed it before, but the oncologist surgeon told me yesterday that the cancer cells are doubling every day, and no wonder we hadn't seen it sooner.

    No need to feel awful - I am sure you did the right thing as soon as you knew you needed to. Melanoma is a stealthy bastard and will taunt you in plain view until it's too late. Just support him and be there. Loving the patient is a huge part of the treatment.
  • Rossweisse, what a beautiful thing you did. I'm sure your niece will treasure not only the rings but the moment in which they were given to her.

    (((ST)))
    (((jj's dad)))
  • idjidj Shipmate Posts: 28
    Oh, for all my friends and fellow travellers here on the forum, prayers, good thoughts, good karma, whatever you need and whatever will help you with this awful set of diseases. Take care of yourselves, that's all we can do. Blessings!
  • PigletPiglet All Saints Host, Circus Host
    Wise words, IDJ.
  • Reading this thread most days, I don't say much but think good wishes for all those not in remission.
    I have a dear friend though whose time is uncertain, but finite. I shall miss her terribly, but in the meantime we can continue to share many, many memories.
  • A rough week, this. I called a business contact yesterday to find out how he was - knew he'd had a health issue. His wife told me he had died of an undetected abdominal cancer last Saturday. The memorial gathering for his friends will be at a local Tap and Grill next week. I'm glad it works for his family. I would ask for something that gives people an opportunity to mourn and celebrate together, drawing strength from God (or, as Kinky Friedman put it, the god of their choice).
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    My niece wrote me today to thank me again for the rings, and mentioned that "I've already had compliments on them." (I think the Mater must be pleased, too.)
  • HuiaHuia Shipmate
    Rossweisse, thanks for posting about the rings. It's obvious you did the right thing there.

    You have also reminded me that I need to send my second cousin a piece of her Grandmother's jewellery and a ring that was her Great-Grandmother's. I always loved that ring, but I have realised I will never wear it, and if I was runover by a bus tomorrow no-one else would value it.
  • RossweisseRossweisse Hell Host, 8th Day Host, Glory
    Brava, @Huia.
  • Robert ArminRobert Armin Shipmate, Glory
    I'm fed up with being tired. Not as empty as I was when the chemo was strong, but I do a little and then I'm wiped out. So it's Monday morning and I'm wondering about spending it in bed. All I did yesterday was two services and visit my mum; not a lot.

    As part of this, sermons are increasingly hard to write. The creative part of my brain isn't working well. And I'm getting bad tempered over little things. I shouted at a good friend, offended him badly, and he won't accept my apologies. It leaves me feeling like a failure.
  • Oy, taking services is draining! I am in full health and am exhausted by Sunday evening when I have usually taken three. You are not a failure, and though it is sad that you and your friend are temporarily at odds, give him a day or two and try to explain how tired you have been. He probably thinks that you are "better" now and so should be back to normal. Don't forget that while you are getting better, you are not as you were or would like to be and that normal is a subjective term.

    Holding you in prayer - you are so brave.
  • la vie en rougela vie en rouge Purgatory Host, Circus Host
    Two services and visiting your mother sounds quite a lot to me. Plenty of people don’t do that much on a Sunday when they’re well.
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